「 𝐬𝐩𝐚𝐜𝐞 𝐯𝐢𝐤𝐢𝐧𝐠 」

SPECIFIC CONNECTIONS:

We dated when we were younger, but broke up due to growing apart and we haven’t seen each other since. That is until right now as you stand there in front of me at the same event. We haven’t seen each other in years and things are a little awkward between us. I still want to stay in contact, we have a lot to process and a lot to talk about. Could we be friends after all of this?

We were best friends as kids, we were never a part and always promised to stay best friends forever. But then we both began to get famous in our own right, causing us to grow apart and we haven’t spoken properly in years. Now we’re at the same place at the same time and things are a little awkward, it’s like we’re strangers.

Life as a celebrity can be tough, something we both can relate too. Sometimes the stress can get too much and we just need a break and to be treated like normal people. That’s why we hang out so much, to be there for the other when life gets too much, whether we sit on the couch and watch movies all night, or go on spontaneous trips out where we won’t get recognised and just have fun. ( this can either end up being the perfect friendship and solely platonic or they start hooking up with feelings getting involved.)

I recently got divorced and we started randomly hooking up as a means for a rebound for me. We’re starting to act more like a hook up now though, we’re staying the whole night, making breakfast together, ordering take out and going to the movies together. This needs to stop before we break our agreement, this has to stay as solely friends with benefits.

We’re so close as friends that people either think we’re siblings or we’re dating, when in reality you’re my ride or die and everything is completely platonic. I don’t know what I would do without you honestly, so we just ignore the rumors and carry on being our chaotic selves.

We’ve been best friends for years, you’re the ying to my yang, my partner in crime and we go to each other for everything. We know all of each other’s secrets and you’re the first person I call for help. However there’s one thing that I/you never told you/me and everything has just come to light, can our friendship survive this? 

Together we’re just pure chaos, whenever we’re together we always end up getting into trouble and going out. We are each other’s wing person and tell each other everything. We have the best times together though and whenever one just needs to let off some steam, the other is always more than willing to help out. Everything between us is just purely platonic and I don’t know what I would do without our chaotic times together.

We used to date back when our careers were just taking off, the whole thing was a PR stunt though made up by our managers to try and make us the up and coming IT couple. The world still has no idea that the whole relationship was a lie and that we actually never got along. I spent all this time not liking you, and I’m pretty sure you felt the same about me. However now that we’re adults and we’ve matured I think you’re not actually not that bad, could we be friends?

TW: ALCOHOL: We’ve never met before, I know who you are but our paths have never crossed. That is until we meet at a party, where we’re both completely wasted and we start to hang out. One thing leads to another and we end up hooking up in the bathroom stall of the venue. Now everytime we get together we can’t help but sleep together, despite telling each other it won’t happen again.

We’re flirting a lot in public, hanging out and going out to dinner multiple times a week. We’ve even been caught getting a little close one time outside a restaurant and now the world is starting to speculate we’re dating. If only they knew this was just a bit of fun, a PR stunt set up by our management to get people talking about us and our projects. We don’t really agree with it, hey we don’t even really like each other but it’s fun so where’s the harm?

TW SPIDERS/BUGS: We live close to each other and you’re always calling me at ridiculous times to come and get rid of spiders or bugs out of your house. You’re always embarrassed and apologizing but I just laugh it off and say it’s fine and I mean it. It’s what friends are for right, but hey do you actually wanna hang out properly?

BASIC CONNECTIONS:

—— ROMANTIC. ❜

partner: NATALIE PORTMAN.

flirtationship.

one night stand.

one sided romance.

friends with benefits.

rebound.

blind date.

possible match.

forbidden romance.

exes on good terms.

exes on bad terms.

tinder match.

first love.

love / hate.

unrequited crush.

celebrity crush.

previously friendzoned.

summer romance.

enemies with benefits.

childhood crush / lover.

one leads the other on.

publicity partner.

one night stand or fling that was regretted later.

—— PLATONIC CONNECTIONS. ❜

best friends: JENSEN ACKLES.

close friends.

confidants: BEN BARNES.

role model.

ride or die.

childhood friends.

drunk friends.

online friends.

secret friends.

enemies to friends.

wing(wo)men.

squad.

sibling like friends: KENDELL JENNER, FLORENCE PUGH.

platonic soulmates.

friends over holiday.

unlikely friends.

positive influence.

seem like a married couple.

former lovers to friends.

new friends, aka friends who just met.

—— FAMILY CONNECTIONS. ❜

baby mama: ELSA PATAKY.

family friends.

siblings.

cousins.

long lost half sibling.

step siblings.

divorced partners: ELSA PATAKY.

in laws.

—— NEGATIVE CONNECTIONS. ❜

enemies.

former (best) friends.

fell for the same person & fought over them.

lifelong enemies.

frenemies.

share a secret.

rivals, direct opposition.

negative influence.

mutual jealousy.

competition.

current lover’s ex, former lover’s current partner.

have mutual friends but don’t get along.

—— MISCELLANEOUS. ❜

neighbors on good terms.

neighbors on bad terms.

have mutual friends.

an artist’s muse.

ex roommates.

professional relations.

project partners/co-workers.

band members.

fitness buddies.

game together online.

babysitter and parent.

best friend’s family.

Chris Hemsworth was spotted attending the opening night of Family Business Beer Company in Long Pine, with girlfriend Natalie Portman. - 09/11/22

That’s rude. I hope he doesn’t listen to you and picks up anyway. Even if I got your hopes up, you’d get to take everything off afterwards - that doesn’t sound that bad either, if you ask me. Any image of you not wearing too many clothes gets me going. I guess we’ll have to see who looks sexier wearing the other’s hoodie. No, I’m never getting that go and I’m not even sorry. If it makes you feel better, I don’t think anyone will think that’s weird. I’ll miss climbing in through the window, though. I think I’ll do it every so often just for the sake of it. So that’s the real reason behind it, huh? I might steal your idea and give you a key to my place too, since the thought of not getting up to open the door sounds quite tempting. Oh no, my Australian accent sucks. You should help me with it and give me a kiss whenever I get it right - just saying. 

This is Luke we’re talking about, of course he doesn’t listen to me. You know what, you’re right, taking everything off definitely doesn’t sound that bad, that’s what I call a fun evening. Is that so? I guess that means I’ll just be walking about the house naked from now on. When none of the kids are there obviously. That’s not a fair competition at all, because you always look sexier than me, no matter what you’re wearing. I definitely know I’m not the only one, I’m just the lucky one who gets it all in person. In that case I’ll make sure to always leave a window open, just in case you get the urge. Look at us, swapping keys, we’re official now baby, no getting rid of me at this point. I know how bad your Australian accent is, but it’s amusing. I love how you’re basically telling me to train you like a dog, when you get the trick right you get a treat. Although I feel like this is more so just an excuse to get more kisses from me.

I know how extremely rare this is and trust me, I won’t ever take it for granted. Oh yeah, I’ve looked into all of those I’m not weird, I swear. When I do this ritual I’ll make sure you’re there to witness it. Something tells me you’d get a kick out of watching a crazed woman kiss a chicken. Oh, it wasn’t? Well then I guess I’m off the hook with naming my future kids after you. That’s good! Spiders are the devil and you better keep them far far away from me.

Wait have you actually? I was joking but are there actually weird things you can do that is supposed to help your chances with twins? What if it works a little too well and you end up with triplets? Or more! I would have many questions for said woman, but it would definitely be amusing in a weird way to witness. No, you already offered now, you can’t take things like that back! I will make sure that I haven’t brought any spiders back home with me, I haven’t done it yet so I doubt I ever will.

I use to be like that when I wasn’t allowed to do certain stunts. Looking back now though I understand why they had to be like that. It sucks when it happens but they are doing for your safety, sweetheart. Invest in armour for said teen years and possibly ear defenders. Take it from someone who has had and currently has teenagers.

I feel that, man, I feel that. I guess that’s why I’m not in too much of a rush to get back out there – just bidin’ my time since my split with Danneel. Oh ho, now you’re talkin’! He’s so easy to prank and the look on his face is always worth it. But don’t be surprised when he gets us back for the torment – he might seem innocent enough but he can be a nuisance when he wants to be. Definitely. I don’t know what I’d do if we left things on bad terms. Yeah, that’s right, you guys were friends before. That always helps with things and it’s good the kids gave their seal of approval. That’s a good way to look at it and that’s probably why you get along with Mish – he says that same kind of shit but I know it’s true. I’ll get my day in the sun. Speakin’ of day in the sun – 5 days ‘til the brewery opening. You ready to get schwasted with me?

There’s no point in rushing, you’re a strong, independent man and you don’t need a woman in your life to feel complete. We need to come up with something big though, something that will really scare him, but not harm him, not a lot anyway. Does he have any fears? That’s the whole fun of it though, going back and forth with the pranks. It definitely helped already being friends, we got to skip the whole awkward getting to know each other. But at the same time I had the fears of this not working out and ruining the friendship. See and if Mish is saying it then you definitely know it’s true. Mate, I had a fucking blast at the brewery opening, I’m paying for it today though, I don’t think I’ll be leaving my bed at all today. How are you feeling?

He probably will - he’ll have no idea what’s going on. I don’t know, I guess you’ll have to take them off to see if there’s nothing underneath. I’m all in for this swap, especially if I get to see you trying to put on any of my hoodies. Were you so obvious or was I completely oblivious? Or both? I should’ve noticed you had a thing for me in the Mighty Thor costume. My own key? You’re so cute. No more sneaking in through your window, but I’d love that. I promise to include pictures next time to make it more interesting, then. Maybe I can fool people if we bring in the platform they made for me not to look so short when standing next to you. They won’t suspect a thing, you’ll see.

I’ll just tell him not to pick up if he sees you calling. I mean, you won’t have to tell me twice, don’t get my hopes up though. I’ll do it, next time I’m at yours I’m stealing one of your hoodies and I might not wear anything underneath, I bet that’s an image that gets you going huh. Somehow it’s not as sexy. You really aren’t going to let this Mighty Thor thing down are you? You’re going to make it sound weird and people are going to question it. Exactly, you’ve been upgraded to the door now, consider yourself lucky, no one climbing in through the window. I just think I trust you with full access to my place, so why not, plus it means I don’t have to get up and let you in if the door is locked. Somehow I think they’re going to notice, you’re going to have to practice your Australian accent.

Pictures online? No, no Christopher-that will not do. I need the raw and unfiltered version. I’m fine, I promise! I’m behaving and actually met a few people. All I’m asking for is a cool rock or a shell from the beach so I can put it into Stone’s terrarium. He’ll feel like he’s in Australia. Oh! Gigi Hadid-yes, I was just as shocked as you probably are. 

Raw and unfiltered? These leaked pictures are taken of me on set, there’s nothing filtered about them. But just for you I’ll take some, but they are for your eyes only. Good, I’m glad you’re making new friends, there’s a lot of great people in town. Okay okay, once the kids are here I’ll get them to pick you up some rocks and shells from the beach. Gigi Hadid? You did good mate, how did the date go?

Well, not to me, I know how adorable you are, but say to a person who’s never heard of you, because they live in a hole somewhere, maybe. You’re right, I do love you, and you have my full support. And that definitely sounds like it’ll be a lot of fun. It is for the big orange ones, those will hopefully be ready closer to Thanksgiving, if it doesn’t snow, the smaller ones, the ones best for little hands, will be ready about 55-65 days after I planted them. And you are not buying them, they’ll be gifts. WAIT, your girlfriend is Natalieee!?!?  The guy is Lin-Manuel Miranda, and he is amazingly wonderful, and I’ve been dying to tell somebody for weeks. 

Never heard of me? I find that hard to believe Kat, I’m kind of a big deal. I mean Mad Max: Fury Road has Tom Hardy in it, isn’t that enough to watch it? I know it convinced me. I always thought all pumpkins took months to grow, I guess it’s true when they say you learn something new everyday. Then when these tiny Pumpkins are ready we will definitely have some and let the kids decorate them. Oh yeah, one thing lead to another and here we are. She totally just threw herself at me, made the first move and everything I was honestly surprised. Really? I just met the guy, I didn’t know! He seems great Kat! I feel that, we kept it quiet because of the kids, but then they all caught us locking lips in the kitchen and so we aren’t that secret about it now.

Great. I’m not sure the risk is worth the reward at this point but we’re going to go with it. I’m no stranger to public embarrassment. Do you want me to recreate the pants splitting incident? I’ll wear underwear this time to save you from the grisly sight that the rest of town had to see. Jesus, between you and Jensen, I’m terrified for my life every single day. I’ve always wanted to learn martial arts and now seems like a good time to become a black belt. I unfortunately did a little bit of exploiting of the kids when they were younger, doing YouTube series and things of that nature but in hindsight, I suppose I was under a lot of pressure from others to share my life constantly. Not that it makes it right. That’s right – for some, that’s their norm, though I try to make it even more “normal” now that I consider myself semi-retired. He moved in across the street and I witnessed him eat shit the very first day while he was trying to bring in boxes. Love at first sight, I guess. It’s been several months now but it feels like it’s been much longer – and I mean that in a good way. You and Natalie knew each other before you moved here, right? Yes, good, keep those lips sealed tight, Hemsworth. I know, I feel sorry for those people that have to put up with all of us. India will get along with Maison for sure then – she has that caretaker personality as well. Oh, a barbecue would be lovely! Of course we’ll have to rope Jensen into that – he’s the grill master after all and we can use him for free beer.

Yes please, nothing will give me greater joy than watching you split your pants! I’ll allow underwear for your comfort, I don’t want to be scarred for life. I have no idea what you’re talking about, me and Jensen are sweet angels who have never done a thing wrong. Would we ever do anything bad to you? If you need a training buddy for that black belt then let me know! I can’t train you to fight but I know how to build up a little muscle. Did your kids at least enjoy it when you were doing it? Unfortunately there is a lot of pressure for it, especially since a lot of the younger celebrities are doing it. I don’t think I could do it, mainly because I just don’t have the time to post everything I’m doing online. Wait is that really how you met? Damn that’s like some hallmark movie, I might have to start making shit up just to sound that good. Did you laugh at him when he laugh? Yeah, we filmed the first Thor movie ten years ago, it took ten years but it was worth the wait. Plus we were both married to other people in most of that ten years. I will only ever open these lips for you and maybe Jensen but I’m sure he already knows everything. I imagine all the girls will get along, I feel like the boys will just be pure chaos, they are the ones I’m worried about. Wait, doesn’t Jensen have kids as well? The more brats the better.

I would give you the true answer to that but I’m a lady so will simply say that it depends where he is when you ask me that question. Ah, yes it would take you rather a while to get from down under! But once your home and over the jet lag, If you get affected by it, we can head out for that walk?

The life of a parent, hey? We’re heading out on a day out today so as you can imagine she was up with the larks. So anything strange or startling happening with you then? You

It sucks don’t it? That are little ones are hounded just because of who their parents are what we do for a career. Thankfully it’s nowhere near as bad here though and they can actually just be kids and not have to worry about cameras. Thankfully Leo won’t ever remember the cameras but Everlee might as shes five.

You can do anything you put your mind to , sweetheart. How long was he in that role for again? My brain is so fried with the girls news school schedules I can’t think of much else. Ten and eight can be awkward ages can’t they? I found it with my lot anyway.