bananas by the each

*wakes up one day and it’s all finally over*

adulthood is like....I’m trying to get back into the concept of having hobbies

When I’m reincarnated, I want to come back as a bookstore cat.

That’s actually a thing? I thought my local bookstore was the only one living their best life tbh

Mice like things they can tear up to turn into comfy nests. Like paper. Shop cats used to be everywhere, but the food industry doesn’t get to keep them any more. The book industry still finds them useful and has no such legal restrictions.

Also bookshop owners and patrons alike are crazy cat ladies/gents, so it makes them feel at home.

We all know the “riches beyond your wildest dreams” is just getting to pet the cat some more. And yes, please.

the other night i tried to make a curry and i got chilli burns all over my face, so i thought to myself ‘hang on, doesn’t milk soothe chilli burns? it does’ and i couldn’t google because i couldn’t see so i just had to blindly feel my way to the fridge and pour out a bowl of milk, and then plant my face in the bowl of milk, anyway at that point the rice cooker went off and triggered a power surge which turned my electricity off, which i didn’t notice at first because i had my face in a bowl of milk and when i did emerge from the dairy prison i thought i had gone blind with chilli burns. so no i don’t really cook much.

@horrorsequel

these memes r so similar that the vibes cancelled out and this feels like nothing.

One of the biggest power moves I have here in the midwest when someone is being racist, sexist, homophobic is that I tell them that I’ll pray for them so that god can grace them with empathy, or that “I feel sorry the devil has made his home in your heart” cause you have not felt joy until you’ve flipped the script on a suburban house mom or an old racist white man.  The joy of watching their face in shock and confusion while they’re called out in Christian Standards the same way they try to cover for their homophobia is amazing.  100% suggest it, at the very least it gets them to shut the fuck up.

Oooooh, that’s a good one!