Chikis_things

So I went on a date with a guy two days ago. Really fun date and definitely one of the best ones I’ve been on in a long time. He is funny, caring, genuine, and respectful. We had lots to talk about and when I went home I still thought about him and the great day we had together.

Now I don’t know if I’m starting to become manic or if this is one of the first times I’ve been on a date with someone I ACTUALLY find attractive but I find myself becoming very… freaky. Like I want him so badly— it’s not even funny anymore.

Am I manic or am I just human?

I've been hearing a voice speaking sexually to me for some time now. Both about myself and about the other people in my life. Being a bit of a freak myself, I didn't necessarily think it was anything new to have sexual thoughts.

Lately, however, I've heard a female voice say many sexual things (again about me and others), but I've just pushed it aside as a thought-- that is, until today. As soon as I heard her speak again, I stopped in my tracks and asked my other voices if they were able to identify her. Diego (one of my voices) said it was Lola... WHO THE FUCK IS THAT?

I am in shock. Normally, my voices introduce themselves to me, or we have some sort of conversation, but this is different. I mean, as I mentioned, I've heard her speak to me plenty of times before, but I had never given her a name like my other voices (such as Diego, Karen, Jeremy, etc.).

Little lore: I shared something with my friends recently that revealed a stark difference in how we think: I brought up my ‘kill list,’ which is basically a list of people I’ve considered killing or hurting—just hypothetically ofc. None of my friends had a list like that. Not even a ‘maybe’ for a corrupt politician or a terrible boss. I was high-key offended. Like, how is it possible that none of them have ever fantasized about, I don’t know, harming a child molester, rapist or serial killer (e.g. hitler)

The realization hit me hard. Is this really that uncommon? Am I the only one in having these kinds of thoughts, or is society just better at pretending they don’t exist?”

(I’ve already spoken about this on my blog)

For example: Friend asks what I think about smt.

Still missing a part but it will be done within the next few weeks (delayed cause of my exams)

I have another idea for a fanfic though:

URRGHHHHH I NEEEED HIM😫😫

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