Sparkle Motion

babies? Hell, I’m an adult this is the clearest and most understandable explaination I’ve ever seen. This book is for anyone

This is a good idea!

"Have your employers told you to ask me about my genitals? Because that's a terrible thing to do to you. But I'm not going to tell you about my private parts. Because they're private. I'm sure you understand."

my favorite thing about crocodiles is yeah they're fantastic swimmers and yeah they can run pretty fast and yeah the smaller ones can even climb trees but also. they don't wanna do any of that shit. they just go no, no thanks. that's not for me. i think i'll just wait for someone to mistake me for a log and get too close. and then i'll eat them. many reptiles love this strategy but none pull it off like the humble croc

forever thinking about that girl at my uni orientation who, after being told to pour out her water bottle before entering an event, looked at me and said "they tell us to stay hydrated and then make us pour out our water, this is like totally kafkaesque" and then poured out what was very obviously an entire water bottle full of whiskey. hope she's doing well.

everyone talks about how strong and great Aragorn was for refusing the ring when Frodo offered it to him as if this man has not spent his entire life dodging leadership and responsibilities like bullets in the matrix 🙄

That title is kinda creepy to me.

So is eating Black people both literally and figuratively, my dear