where did my life go?

The designer's at a western leather/tack store looking for supplies to make a rustic-style sex swing and turns to one of the store employees for advice, which initially goes about as amusingly as you would expect

So then she pulls up some pictures to give him an idea of what she needs

And he's Immediately like

The professional disgust, I'm living

hope you all enjoy this list. it’s compiled from random internet prompts, my brain, and some things i’ve heard said/said to others/had said to me. pls send me a number and what ship you want it with and i’ll write a one-shot based on it!! my list of fandoms is in my pinned:) i love doing stuff like this<3

“you think it’s cute when i’m mad? great, because i’m about to become real fucking adorable.”

“you do realize we just got locked in here, right?”

“sorry, my 12-year old self is just kinda freaking out on the inside right now.”

“i don’t need saving!” “what if i want to save you?”

“i can’t concentrate with you looking at me like that.” “good.”

“are you sure you aren’t giving me the name of a drink that doesn’t exist to make me look stupid? because this shit sounds like i’m casting a spell.”

“you’re the kind of person people write poems about.”

“at least i can check that off my bucket list.” “who the fuck puts getting arrested on their bucket list?!”

“how did you even get up to my window? my room is on the second floor.” “romeo finds a way, juliet.”

“you look so pretty when you’re happy.”

“how the FUCK did you make it past eighth grade?”

“this might be a bit controversial, but i think that went well.”

“are you like, sexually attracted to danger, or something? because i can’t remember a single time i’ve hung out with you that i haven’t risked my life.” “and i’ve always looked incredible while doing it.”

“i love you.” “who doesn’t.”

“well, this just scrambles my eggs.” “please just say FUCK.”

“if you were a cereal, you’d be raisin bran.” “i can’t tell if that’s supposed to be a compliment or an insult.” 

“where are you going with peanut butter and duct tape?” “on a date.”

“who DO you like, then?” “why do you think i talk to you so much?”

“your eyes are like the ocean.” “please don’t go into some cliche thing about how they’re deep and endless and you could get lost in them for forever.” “nah, i was just gonna say they’re blue.”

“i think my mom thinks we’re dating.” “what? why?” “because i told her we’re dating.”

“my family really likes you.”

“this brings our relationship to a whole new level.” “dude, i’m just keeping a toothbrush at my house for you.” “EXACTLY!”

“you deserve to have a fairytale romance.”

“you have no idea how fucking crazy you drive me.”

“when i said ‘whatever helps you sleep at night’, i didn’t picture this.”

“do you mind if i observe you guys for a day? i have to write a romantic scene for my creative writing class and i need some inspiration.” “um, that’s fine, but we’re not dating.” “you’re not?” “nope.” “…are you sure?”

“there’s no reason why your awful attempts at flirting should be giving me butterflies, but here we are.”

“hey, hey, it’s okay. it was just a bad dream. i’m here.”

“i really want to have my heart broken so i can scream this song properly.”

“I don’t want other people to decide who i am. i want to decide that for myself. ” – Emma Watson