“The Fresh Prince of Bel-Air” starters
as requested. Feel free to change pronouns or anything else !
“Now this is a story all about how my life got twisted, turned upside down.”
“You know, ain’t like I’m still five years old, you know? Ain’t like I’m gonna be sitting every night asking my mom ‘when’s daddy coming home?’ You know? Who needs him?“
“Hey baby, I noticed you noticing me and I just wanted to put you on notice that I noticed you too.”
“Could you drop me off at the beach?”
“Oh my God, ___! What’s that hideous thing growing out of your neck? Ah, never mind. It’s just your head.”
“Man, I love Halloween! It’s the only time of year when a black man can wear a mask at night and not get arrested!”
“Girl/boy, you look so good, I would marry your brother/sister just to get in your family.”
“Maybe I sometimes say things that are selfish and self-centered, but that’s who I am, dammit.”
“Ain’t no thang but a chicken wing.”
“I’m as big as a house. All I want to do is lie in bed and eat pie.”
“How come he don’t want me, man?”
“Face it, you’re a taker.”
“You bought your own dinner?”
“Oh, stop it you little Filthy McNasty.”
“Your pop had a bit of a drinking problem, didn’t he?”
“Jean Claude Van Dam I’m fine!“
“HEY! WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS?”
“I’m gonna pop that little zit when I get home.”
“____, I think you’ve been deprived of oxygen at birth.”
“THIS IS GROSS! I don’t touch greasy, disgusting things!”
“Penn State would’ve been my first choice if my applications to Princeton, Yale, and Talledega Tech had fallen through.”
“How could you be so stupid? You know you shouldn’t be messing with drugs!“
“My son/daughter/child could have died because of you!”
“Did you see the way he/she/they was/were dressed?”
“Oh, my God. I’m a drug addict *and* a virgin!”
“Shut up! Shut up, shut up. Now be quiet!”
“I’m going to the kitchen for a snack when I get back I want you gone.”
“I ain’t no bungee expert or nothin’, but I don’t think he’s supposed to be slamming into the ground like that.”
“Don’t do anything stupid! You haven’t updated your will yet.“
“I can still hear them taunting him. ‘Silly rabbit, Trix are for kids.’ Why couldn’t they just give him some cereal?”
“I guess I can kiss heaven goodbye ‘cause it’s got to be a sin to look this good.”
“Yo baby, I know your feet must be tired ‘cause you been walking through my mind all day!”
“Well, I’m in a bad mood, and somebody is going to suffer.”
“You smell like broccoli.”