Cherry flavoured dreams~

Lan Wangji wishes you all a happy Lucia!

Lan Wangji önskar er alla Glad Lucia!

20 July 2026

Crazy heavy rains AT LEAST 10 ROADS WASHED OUT

A small kid at the gocery store was clearly sick of being in the stroller and also Fucking Done with being in the grocery store, and was about to throw a fit at the cashier line before spotting me. One of the small perks of having multiple facial piercings and wearing a funky hat is that every once in a while small children will stop whatever they were doing and stare at you like the man-made horror beyond their comprehension that you righteously are.

So taking the opportunity to turn the situation around, I smiled to the kid, who smiled back, and started waving to me, so I had to wave back. The parents, not saying a word, just smiled as well, evidently also glad that this situation turned into "kid saw a funny-looking stranger and is quietly having fun" kind, instead of the "kid is shrieking because fuck being in the grocery store, ensuing that everyone is having a bad time" kind of situation.

The MC is a girl who we’ll call Sue. Sue is a Good Girl™, Sue is Not Like Other Girls™, she is pale and awkward and a virgin and has somehow managed to find herself a Bad Boy™ for a boyfriend. We’ll call him Dickhead.

Now Dickhead as previously stated is a bit of dick, he tries to pressure Sue into sex because he knows she is The One™ but he loves her really so it’s okay. Except it’s not okay because Sue is a Good Girl™ and holding out till marriage which he’s fine with except he’s got such a bad case of blue balls that one night walking home an attractive stranger lures him into an alley with the words “hey stud” and he follows, dick out before she’s even finished her sentence. Well turns out that was a mistake for Dickhead because she’s a vampire, but not just any vampire, a Dick Biting Vampire. So what started out as a skeevy blow job behind a club that he’ll feel bad about in the morning, turns into him being bitten on the dick and drained of his life essence and left for dead. Except DBV fucked up and now he’s a vampire. Are you still with me? Good, cause it’s about to get weirder.

Realizing he is now an abomination, Dickhead flees, becoming a creature of the night and feeding on animals rather than humans to repent for being such an asshole in life. Sue meanwhile is heartbroken, but carries on valiantly with her life and goes to bed each night crying for the loss of her One True Love™ who she would do anything to bring back. Well guess what Sue, Dickhead never really left you! He’s been “instinctively protecting her from rapists” by hiding out on her roof and fighting hobos who try to get to her open window via the fire escape for months now. Because that’s not fucking terrifying at all.

Upon learning of his predicament and how it happened, Sue can do nothing but blame herself. Oh if only she’d let him touch her secret places, then perhaps all of this could be avoided! Meanwhile Dickhead is having another dilemma of his own, realizing too late that his vampire powers have given him super senses and now he can smell her blood and he can’t decide whether he wants to get with her or eat her. And I don’t mean in the French sense. But he is strong! And over comes his base manly vampire instincts and neither rapes not kills her. Hurrah! And this is so romantic that Sue gives it up, but not before she launches into a theory about how in all fairy tales, True Love saves the day, so maybe her magical pure vagina that has never been touched by anyone, not even her, can bring him back to life. So Dickhead being a dickhead agrees and rips her clothes off, but not before he takes one last moment to marvel at the beauty of her purity, because he will never again look on her again and know she is Pure.

If you’ve only vomited once by now, I applaud your resolve.

So they hop on the good foot and do the nasty, except she is literally so pure in spirit, her flesh burns his. And I quote you from memory because these words are burned into my soul: “her breasts bit into his hands, like crucifix nail nipples tearing at his flesh, but he did not care because he loved her so and couldn’t stop”

This phrase haunts me. I dread that it will be the last thing I think about on my death bed and my last words will literally be “god fucking dammit” as I die, carrying that mental image with me into the afterlife. My own solace is in knowing that I inflicted it on other people too, like @ahzuri who is somehow still with me after all these years.

When the magical burning sex fails to heal him and leaves her bruised, battered and broken with “a dainty blue bells of bruises around her secret flower” (I am genuinely quoting this, I could never make something as horrendous as this up without being on acid) Dickhead leaves. Yeah. Off he fucks, leaving her to the mercy of the hobos at her window, and into the night to be the true monster he really is. But wait, there’s more. Remember the dick biting vampire? Well turns out she has figured out she made him into a vampire and has also been stalking HIM and is totally jealous of Sue, so tries to kill her. But again Sues Purity saves her, because sex before marriage which was done out of True Love is not a sin, so she is still a spiritual virgin and I’ll be honest, I started drinking heavily at this point and it’s all a bit of a blur.

A fight ensues some pages later after Dickhead returns, realizing the mistake he has made. And he rescues Sue from the Dick Biter, but not before he assaults Dick Biter, and calls her a slut for luring innocent men into alleys cuts her heart out by cutting her breasts off, at which point i screamed “THAT’S NOT HOW YOU REACH THE HEART” and my brain short circuited completely and I have no idea how it ends because I realized there was 30 pages left and my soul couldn’t take it. I emailed the chief editor like ?????!!!!!!????!!!!!! and the book was immediately pulled from the work line and the author dismissed from the publishing house. Turns out she was a friend of a friend and that was how she got the manuscript past our entry levels for requirement.

OP: They didn't realize they're the same at first. (cr右右)

OP: How hard we astrophotographers work to capture starry skies (cr yyy，define)(They stay up all night hauling 20kg gear, hiking for four hours straight, or driving 800 kilometers in a single day, pulling two all-nighters in a row, and catching sleep anywhere they can.)

Photos by them

Tämä piti postata jo eilen, pahoittelut että olen päivän myöhässä, mutta tässä nyt vihdoin on Faiteosviikon aihelistat!

Listoja on toisaan kaksi joissa kummassakin yksi prompti per päivä, vasemmalla oleva aihe on ns. yleinen, oikealla oleva on jotakuinkin suomiteemainen. Aiheista voi poimia vain toisen, tai voi käyttää kumpaakin, tai voi toki olla käyttämättä kumpaakaan ja tehdä jotain ihan muuta, miten vain itsestä tuntuu hyvältä. Eikä tarvitse mitenkään sitoutua siihen että käyttäisi samaa listaa joka päivä (toki jos nimenomaan haluaa niin näinkin saa tehdä)

Näitä aiheita saa myös tulkita niin luovilla tavoilla kun tahtoo

Kiitos kaikille jotka lähettivät aiheideoita, ja pahoittelut niille joiden ehdotuksia en tullut käyttäneeksi! Tietyissä tapauksissa myös yhdistelin useita eri aihe-ehdotuksia (esimerkiksi eri historiallisiin aikoihin sijoittuvia AU-ehdotuksia tuli niin monta, että päädyin laittamaan minkään näistä nimenomaisista sijaan aiheeksi "eri aikakaudet", ja tuo samalle päivälle osuva "Suomimusiikki" on kans yhdistelmä muutamasta eri aiheideasta)

Pistän read moren alle tuon aihelistan vielä tekstimuodossa, jos joku sattuu kaipaan sen sillai

Mut yhtyeen kovimmat fanitusvuodet oli 1996-1998, enkä oikein oo löytäny tietoa miten eri jäsenistä kirjotettiin. Jos jollain on artikkeleita, erityisesti joku "Kuka on XL5-ihastuksesi? Tee testi!" -juttu Koululaisesta tai Suosikista, tai joku muu jäsenprofiili ois mahtava nähdä. Tai voi linkata blogeja tai videoita ysärilähteistä. En oo kyllä tutkinu youtubea vielä, mut eniten kiinnostaa just miten nuortenlehdissä on heistä kirjoteltu.

Muistakaahan Faniteosviikko on ihan kulman takana, haluaisin nähdä teidät kaikki siellä. En kyllä saa teosta viikon jokaiselle päivälle tehtyä, kun kirjotankin niin pirun pitkiä tarinoita, mut lupaan kaksi.