Shitposting in My 30s

I just noticed my darling baby boy (cat) sitting in his little loft bed about 5 inches away from the most delightful sunbeam, so I scooted it into the sunlight for him and he looked me with the biggest widest expression. I don’t think he knew that was an option. I think I just blew his whole little mind

HOLY SHIT MY BOY

okay, im "sorry" i tested my dual scythe combos/fever mode on your "smol bean" boyfriend

not to sound like a christian facebook mom but some of yall need to have grace in your hearts for the people in your lives or the people you pass once on the road and never see again like you literally need to stop assuming the worst of everyone and their intentions it is poisoning your brain. you can be careful and responsible without being a miserable person. it is possible i promise

honestly i have been responding to some of these replies at face value bc i do also think you have a duty as a human being to be nice to people. but if you think this post is scolding you to be nicer to people then youve already lost the plot. this post is about how assuming that everyone you meet is hostile and wants to hurt you is bad for you. it ruins your life and it is a choice you are continually making.

gravity is widely known to be a purple element

theres a new villain roaming around new york that has all the powers of a tapir. give me an hour or two im gonna go google what the fuck tapirs do ill let you know if we need to be scared

OK it seems if you are fruits or berries this is really really bad news for you otherwise youre fine

I love you guys but I think a lot of you are the kind of people who are susceptible to falling in with a cult.

You’re right. We should all band together under a trustworthy and influential leader who can keep us safe from outside threats