Simple me🍒

I'm not as cool as I used to be in highschool. That's something that I had to accept after finishing my studies and becoming an adult. The friendships that I used to have stopped talking to me, they changed a lot -and so did I. I had to learn the only true friendships I made when I was a child and a teenager wouldn't be always with me because they're also busy like me... but they would always be for me in the moments that I need a friend. Yeah, I'm no the coolest girl right now, the girl who had a lot of retweets and likes in her Twitter, Facebook and Instagram posts... I lost everything that made me feel special in some way, and that way was called "Attention". But I found myself and the really important things in my family, in God, in all the details that surrounds me everyday. And now I'm the coolest person, not only for my loved ones, but also according to me. Because I understood that everything that happens in our lives is a process, is a beautiful experience, is something that we need to value in the moment, because those moments won't come back again. And I'm very thankful for all the people I met in my life, even if they are still my friends or not. I'm also thankful for all the boyfriends I had when I was younger, because I learned all the things I like or not, and my weaknesses and my strengths and everything that made me a better woman for my husband. I became more mature, I grew up with a lot of insecurities but I feel I am the person, the human being that I always wanted to be and I didn't know. I feel proud of myself.

Today I started working again, before the pandemic, my last job was as a graphic designer for a very important company, it took a very long time for me to adapt again to social life or any job, I applied to lots of jobs but never succeed... I felt really useless all those days, all those years after COVID-19, I thought I was too old, and I'm just 25. Just imagine. I thought I lost my skills, but I feel very proud I won the battle against the thoughts I had that I wasn't good enough for life. I hope somebody just read this, I always write but never receive any comment :(

Right now I feel pretty upbeat, (that's a word that I just learned in my English classes), because I'm doing better in my life. Before, I was always depressed without any reason, perhaps because I was too perfectionist. Actually I'm still too perfectionist, I can't lie. But perfectionism started to consume all my energy, and also began to affect other aspects of my private life, for instance, my marriage. I was wasting all my time making things "perfect" just to feel approved by other people. I never liked people to help me because I thought they weren't good enough to do things like me. And if somebody helped me with something, I had to redo that thing again, you know, that's a big problem. Being too perfectionist is my weakness but I'm trying to fix that. An advice or something that I'm applying in my life nowadays, is to live day by day, step by step, and if I can't do something today, I will do it next day, or when I'm free. After all, it's my time, and my mental peace. Do you guys have to deal with the same problem? What advice could you give to solve this issue?