Begin

It didn't take long for the emptiness in your body to settle. At first, anger was the only thing that stirred. Frustration and confusion blending in a mix of red and white throughout your mind as you cried into your pillow. Then, the sadness overwhelmed any feeling of hostility that remained—and you were left hopeless. 

You’d have to save face around your brother and his other friends, while Ellie twiddled her fingers and looked you up and down like some kind of trophy. There were times when you noticed the downturn of her eyebrows whenever you were around, or the slight pout that would appear upon her lips when you refused to acknowledge her. 

But then her gaze would shift to Cat, and suddenly you felt stupid for believing she wanted to keep up with you. You and your emotions, your blatant inexperience, and your naivety to the fact that your profound adoration had gone completely unrequited. 

Cat would wink, or send her a kiss through the air that made your blood boil. All the while your bed had felt the intimacy, and your diary has seen the struggle. Those four walls that you had barely recognized as your own at the beginning of summer had bore witness to some of the ugliest, most unconventional parts of you. But also some of the softest. 

It was a harsh duel to fight, the comparison of love and laughter to the nights spent crying over deceit, and the prolonged stretches of loneliness. 

Of course you didn't face it alone, you fell into the arms of your friends with a little less reluctance than you had expected yourself to. You allowed Callie to pepper loving kisses to your head as you sobbed into arms about how unfair life could get, and threw yourself into more plans than you ever had before. 

So even though you had tanked romantically, your social life had blossomed into something greater than ever before. You crammed more people into your bedroom than ever before, and forced yourself away from your brother, putting yourself at an awkward distance that he didn't seem to notice. 

Your new friends, and apparently your lovers number one public enemies, had made themselves comfortable in your space, and truth be told, you quite liked it that way. You consumed so much Jennifer Garner and Amanda Seyfried content that you caught yourself acting like them. 

You let the sun hit your shoulders, and drove Abby’s car all the way to the beach without worrying about how stupid you looked with the wind blowing through your hair. You listened to real good music, selecting your own playlist without second thought. You danced like nobody was watching and sung like nobody was listening. 

Of course, the blues still appeared in the late nights you spent alone. The blaring alarm of jealousy still sounded whenever Cat was around. Because who were you if not in love? Would you ever truly be over it? 

You still sulk in the bath with a book in your hand, and cry to Callie when the rest of the group is gone. And sometimes, when the world gets quiet, and the stars scatter across the night sky, you picture her in your arms. 

Over the course of a week, you dream of her green irises, and whisper her name beneath your breath as you sink into the sheets of your bed. You curse her for leaving, and yourself for letting her go. 

You spent the days pushing down the pressure in your chest while your friends argued over twister positions, and the nights feeling out every second of agony until you fell asleep. 

One week. You went seven and a half days without speaking to Ellie. It wasn’t long enough to push her out of your mind, or even refocus on the people right in front of you. But, it was long enough to accept it. 

Every time she would walk by, or when someone would mutter her name in the next room, you were sent through a spiral of grief and anxiety. Your ears would perk up like a dog at the sound of her laugh cascading down the stairs, and sweat would quickly coat your palms whenever you ended up in the same room. 

It wasn’t fair, the control she had over you. The way she had you crying in the shower over miniscule interactions, hot water running down your back as you sit there and wonder: what could you have done differently? Why you? 

Ellie’s unaffectedness was a trigger in itself, her nonchalant attitude, and the way that she would walk through your house, shoulder held high, sporting a large smile like nothing had happened between you. 

You’re currently sitting on the couch, the latest episode of some trashy reality TV burning into your eyes as you dig into a plate of pasta. The house is recently empty, your friends having left just an hour prior, not without a fight of course. Callie was reluctant to leave you, fearing the worst, whatever it might’ve been. You told them you were sure, and that you wanted to be alone, so they departed. 

Your brother hadn’t been home all day, he left early in the morning with a text that said Going to beach, wont be home till tomorrow, love you. in true brother fashion. 

You spent the day quietly relaxing and relishing in the laughter that bounced between your friends. The few of you went from the pool to the living room and then back to the pool in a matter of hours. Abby and Callie teaming up to throw Paris into the water, and Jack on the grill made for a perfect day. Well, almost perfect. 

They took care of you, helping you navigate the process of your almost-break up with an undeniable softness. Eventually, Callie would press a kiss to your temple, and the group would leave you to your own devices. 

And then there was the silence. 

It gets better by the day. Today, you didn’t have the urge to text her, or call her, or storm over to her house and demand she take you back. Instead. You spent the night stirring in a little less turmoil than usual, with a face mask and your beloved diary. 

You huff as your eyes switch between the TV and the blank page in your lap. There was still an underlying frustration that showed up whenever you opened the diary, your last one was still missing, out in the wild with your deepest, most embarrassing moments and feelings. You cringe at the thought of it.

You drag your pen across the paper slowly, you had already drained yourself of every single detail of your current situation, the last few pages were messy with notes and doodles alike, and your hand was strained from the constant stress. 

You bite down on your lip, scribbling over the first line on the page. You let the book fall shut, and harshly shove it onto the coffee table. You throw your legs off the couch and gather up your empty bowl. 

It takes under a minute for you to throw the dish into the sink, wash it out, and place it gently back in the cabinet. You walk back over to the couch and turn off the tv before walking up the stairs. 

The upstairs welcomes you with an empty chill, the windows on either side of the hallway are open, allowing the small gusts of wind to push the drapes into the room. You quickly rush over to shut the window closest to your bedroom before slipping into the bathroom to remove your facemask. 

You quickly clean up, brushing your teeth and washing your face with curated perfection. It doesn’t take long for you to finish up and step out of the bathroom, flipping off the light as you exit. 

You’re already in pajamas, a simple tank top and matching shorts to hopefully help you withstand the heat. There’s a dim, yellow light illuminating the space of your bedroom, your tv is already on, projecting some random show that you don’t even remember putting on. 

You sigh as you shut the door, reaching down to grab an armful of laundry that had been forgotten on your floor. You toss the clothes into the basket and continue tidying up. You organize a few things on your vanity, slide some books back into the shelf, and put your bed back together. 

When you finally fall onto your bed, bouncing slightly as you land, you feel calm. Your room is clean, and your conscience is clear. You pick up your phone, scooting back on your butt to rest against your pillows. You swipe up on your lockscreen, opening the device and immediately opening your preferred doomscrolling app.

You hadn't been sleeping well since your altercation with Ellie, usually spending the nights scrolling through your phone and just waiting.  You don't know exactly what you were waiting for, a text? A call? But the doom that follows solitude eats at you anyways. 

You scroll through aimlessly, barely paying attention to the contents of each video. There’s a few that get a chuckle out of you, some edits that you find intriguing, but nothing that really stops you in your tracks. 

You’re barely an hour into your scroll session when there's a gentle tap on your window, barely audible above the volume of your phone. You pause the video for a few seconds, your eyebrows raised in confusion. When the sound fails to repeat itself, you unpause the video and forget about it. 

About five seconds go by before the sound occurs once again. A gentle, single tap on the glass of your closed window. You click the button on the side of your phone, letting the screen dim to black before you sit up on your knees and pull the curtains open. 

What you’re faced with when you open the curtains isn't at all what you expect it to be, maybe your brother playing a dumb trick, or your best friend trying to get your attention in the most unconventional way, but the scene outside your window was far from either of those things. 

Ellie stands on the grass beside your house, her hand full of tiny pebbles as she aims for your window. Once she notices you, she drops her hand, letting the rock she was about to throw fall to the ground. 

Your reaction is visceral, your heart dropping at the sight. You feel it through your body, like a heatwave it washes over you. You were calm, maybe not completely but you were on the way there. The anxiety that built from seeing her, and at the rate it rose, you could feel it in your heart. 

A large grin creeps up onto her face, and she quickly raises her arm once again to wave up at you. You slowly raise your own hand, still sort of in shock, and slowly wave back. There’s something resting at her feet, a poster board it looks like. 

She puts two hands out, mouthing the words “wait” through the air before she leans over and grabs both sides of the board. She lifts it above her head, and smiles awkwardly as she lets your eyes dance over the letters. 

I’m sorry. Can we talk? Scribbled onto the white background in pink marker, she doodled a few happy faces in the corners and added stickers to the edges of the poster. 

Your eyes widen at the gesture, as if this moment couldn’t get any more unpredictable. You quickly reach for the lock on your window, flicking it open so you can quickly push your window open. You almost fall out with the speed in which you had shoved it open.

“What the fuck are you doing, Ellie?!” You shout out at her. She drops the sign to chest level, speed walking as close to the window as she can. You can't reach her from the second floor, but part of her looks determined enough to climb. 

Finally, you hear her voice. 

“Babe! Please let me in—I wanna talk!” You look her up and down, absolutely no sign of sarcasm. Ellie Williams was outside your window with a poster and an unmatched amount of dedication. 

It's hard to hold back your smirk at her desperate pleas. She was truly a mess, running a hand through her auburn hair as she looks up at you with her hopeful green eyes. You had missed the forest of her eyes so deeply, no matter how many times you had explored, you couldn’t be without them. 

You playfully roll your eyes at her, but on the inside you’re practically decomposing at the thought of denying her. 

“I need to hear you say it.” You say, resting your chin on your hand. 

“I’m sorry—I’m so fucking sorry I know I messed up—bad. But I want to fix it, I want to fix it so badly. If you’ll let me?” She’s yelling. At the top of her lungs. Outside of your house. There’s a high chance that your brother could be home, she doesn't know that he’s gone, and she's still outside yelling. 

A different kind of heat creeps up your neck, you’re completely and utterly charmed by her, you have no choice but to say yes. 

“Come fix it then!” You shout down, letting your lips break into a smile. Ellie does the same, a large toothy grin appearing on her face as she reaches for the wall, attempting to Flynn rider her way to you. 

“Through the door! What the hell!” You laugh, letting your head fall onto your arms that rest in the window sill. 

Ellie quickly nods, grabbing her sign and running towards the front door. You quickly follow suit, practically jumping off the bed and racing down the stairs. You almost eat shit twice going down the stairs, and have to steady yourself when you go flying into the front door. 

You pull it open eagerly, your lips still pulled into an uncontrollable smile. When the door swings open, Ellie is standing there, a mirrored large grin on her face, holding the sign over her chest. 

The two of you stand there awkwardly for a moment, taking each other in. “You’re at my house.” You point out, one hand still resting on the door. 

“That I am.” She follows up, nodding subtly as she speaks. 

“Come! In!” You laugh, stepping out of her way. She quickly steps inside, dropping the poster onto the ground and pulling you into a strong hug. 

You immediately sink into her, resting your head on her shoulder. You had missed her embrace so much that this didn't even feel real yet. And you had only been without it for a week. You don't know how you went so many years without it. 

You speak first: “I missed you…” you whisper into her shoulder. She nods, bringing a hand up to the back of your head. 

She gently sways left and right, holding you as close as possible. “I missed you too, I’m so sorry.” She whispers back. She carefully places two hands on your head, pulling you away from her shoulder, you’re about to whine, but she quickly presses a kiss to your forehead. 

You were sure your best friend would damn you to hell for how quickly you were letting her back in, but maybe Callie didn't have to know yet. 

You look up at her, not wasting a second before you place your lips back on hers in a hot and intense kiss. She accepts gratefully, sliding her hands down to your waist. Neither of you care that the front door is still open, or that she hadn't really explained her reasoning behind coming here yet. 

Your mouths dance together in a type of passion that you hadn't yet felt before. She kicked the door shut with a heavy foot, turning you and pushing you against the cold surface. Her lips break away for a quick moment, a string of spit connecting you. 

“Is he home?” She whispers. Her voice laced with desperation. 

“No.” You respond, and before you can do or say anything more, she's attaching her lips to yours once again. 

You hold back a whine when her thumb slashes across your waistband, tickling the skin beneath the fabric of your shorts. You almost beg her to slip her hand beneath it, but figure it's better that you don't. 

For a moment, you stop kissing, and let her pull away. 

“What about Cat?” You ask. When the words come out of your mouth you expect to be faced with disappointment, to end up kicking Ellie out, or yelling at her for not actually fixing things. or maybe even—

“I don’t want her. I want you. I told her that I was done with her.” She reassures, pulling her hands off your body. Your shoulders relax at the words, a small smile working its way up onto your lips. 

Ellie leans over to untie your shoes, and you turn around to unlock the door. “So that means we can be public?” You presume, letting the lock shut with a harsh click before you turn back around to her. 

She doesn’t respond right away, pulling her second foot out of her sneaker before rising back up to your level. “Well, I haven't talked to your brother, and I don't wanna go too fast.” You quickly roll your eyes, crossing your arms as you lean back against the door. 

“Seriously, Ellie—” You start, letting your head hit the door. You pushed out a huff, fighting the urge to start an argument with her. 

“Listen! I just wanna do things right this time, so if that's what you want, we’ll get there, but it’ll take time.” She pleads, grabbing you by the chin. She places a soft kiss on your lips, “I don't want your brother to ruin this.” It makes sense, nobody could know if he would approve or not, and by letting the dust settle, and allowing Ellie to speak with him, it only increases your chances of success. 

“Yeah, I get it, sorry…” You reply, sighing as you let her settle her soft lips on your mouth. You kiss her back, wrapping your arms around her neck.

“Don’t be sorry, baby. C’mon, let's go upstairs.” She lets go of your chin, wrapping her arms around your waist. Before you can accept, she's hoisting you up, and ordering you to wrap your legs around her. 

“You have no idea how much I’ve missed you.” Her voice is low as she kisses you, carrying you to the stairs to bring the two of you up to your room. 

“Trust me, I missed you more.” You whisper back, pressing your lips to her nose. She shakes her head, giving you a warning look. 

“Do you really wanna have this fight with me?” She asks, carefully turning the corner to your bedroom. 

You look her in the eyes, bringing a hand to her face as she slowly opens the door. “Oh I do.” You bite back. 

The night fades into a gentle harmony, with the two of you giggling beneath the sheets as you get lost in each other. 

Eventually, you fall asleep against her chest, letting the quiet hum of her voice lull you into tranquility. 

You don't wake up until the clock says pm on it the next day, pulling yourself out of her arms at 12:30 on the dot. It’s quite a fight to get out of bed, Ellie pulls you back into her embrace many times, planting fat, sleepy kisses all over your face while you complain about her morning breath. 

She whines as she stretches, her t-shirt riding up as she arches off the bed. You playfully tickle the sides of her torso as she yawns, causing her to jerk forward. 

“Hey!” She shouts with a laugh, reaching for your hands as you continue your assault on her skin. She giggles, grabbing at your wrists and pining them above your head. 

She uses one hand to hold your hands down, while the other reaches down to your own torso, fingers working over the same spot as you had on her. You laugh, kicking at her stomach and legs in a futile attempt at pushing her off of you. 

“Ellie!” You cry out in laughter, throwing your head back as you thrash beneath her. She’s right above you, smiling loudly as she terrorizes you. 

“Okay—okay.” She pulls her hands off your arms, and presses a gentle kiss to your lips before sitting up. You sit up on the other side of the bed, your head at the foot. You lightly kick her in the stomach before getting off the bed. 

“Evil.” She calls you, shaking her head back and forth in faux-disbelief. You shoot her a shit eating grin, sticking your tongue out as you reach for the robe hanging from your closed bedroom door. 

“Oh please.” You stick your arms into the thick sleeves of the robe, tying the rope around your waist as Ellie stares you down from the bed. She flips you off, biting down on her lip as she stands up. 

“I’m gonna go find something to eat, are you hungry?” She asks, wrapping an arm around your waist. She presses a chaste kiss to your cheek before pulling away and reaching for the doorknob. 

“Maybe…Whatever you’re eating works. I’m not too hungry yet.” You smile up at her. She nods in response, throwing you a thumbs up as she tugs the door open. 

“I’ll let you know if anyone’s home, I’ll just tell them I slept in your brother's room.” You nod, and lean in for one more risky kiss. 

Ellie giggles against your lips before pulling away and finally leaving your room. You smile to yourself after she pulls the door shut, picking up your phone to check your notifications. 

There’s a few texts from the group chat, Jack (of all trades) inquiring about a hangout for tonight, a few from your brother, telling you he’s on his way home with some friends, and a few emails reminding you to re-register for school. 

Nothing out of the ordinary, besides maybe the fact that your brother was already awake. You shove your phone into one of the large pockets of your robe before leaving your room and making your way to the bathroom. 

It doesn’t take more than ten minutes for you to freshen up, copying the same routine you followed last night, brushing your teeth, washing your face, and dealing with your hair. 

Once finally satisfied, you smile to yourself. There’s a streak of giddyness that races up your spine as you look in the mirror, you have to force the grin off of your face before you step out. 

You take a deep breath as you pull the bathroom door shut behind you. The floor is cooler beneath your feet now, someone must have opened a window within the few short minutes of you being behind a closed door. 

You tiptoe down the stairs with a tiny smile on your face. You quietly reach into the pocket of your robe, pulling out your phone. There’s two texts from Ellie on your home screen, Everyone’s here. Is the first, and the second reads the words They're all hungover. 

You chuckle down at the device before sending back a quick lol. The message hasn’t even gone through by the time you're downstairs, but you click your phone off and slip it back into your pocket anyway. 

When you reach the main floor, your friends and sibling alike are resting on any surface visible. Your brother groans as his best friend hands him a bottle of water and laughs in his face. Dina is pushing bacon around a sizzling pan as Jesse practically kneels before the coffee pot. 

You turn into the kitchen, smiling at Ellie as you enter. The group greets you, a few people throwing up lazy waves from the living room. There’s one person in particular who doesn't utter a word to you, the black haired woman resting on one of your stools. She’s positioned right across from Ellie, quietly giggling at whatever was said before you arrived. 

You smile, peaking over Dina’s shoulder at the progress on the cooking meat. “Good morning to you too.” She snarks jokingly, winking over her shoulder at you as you wrap your arms around her from behind.

”I’m so hungry.” You groan into her, letting your head fall against the back of her shoulder. 

Your brother lifts his head, removing the cold, dripping rag from his forehead. “You’re always hungry.” He says, not even breaking a smile. You flip him off before grabbing an ice cube from his drink to launch at his face. 

Ellie chuckles, leaning against the counter as the rest of the people around you guys wither away. You stand beside her, waiting for anyone else to acknowledge you. 

She places a delicate hand on your shoulder, leaning in to whisper into your ear. “Why don't you go sit down? I’ll bring you some coffee.” She proposes, looking into your eyes with a suspicious amount of certainty. 

You nod, “Sure. Thanks, Els.” You smile. And you catch yourself almost going in for a quick peck. You practically float out of the kitchen, your head spinning at the thought of such a forward gesture. 

You plop down onto the couch right at the corner, tucking your legs up under your robe to keep you warm. You pull out your phone, opening it up to the group chat and the flood of texts from your friends. 

Jack (of all trades): Im eager to drink, someone throw a party. 

Cals: You do it, you have the biggest house

Jack (of all trades): I always do it bitch

You: My brother is having people over tonight

You: like more than usual

Cals: OKAY! and im ready

You: yes! you guys can come!

You: 10pm

Jack (of all trades): fuck yes

You smile down at your phone as you begin typing out your next text. You’re interrupted by the sight of two hands appearing at your eye level, a cup of steaming liquid being held within them. 

“Here you go.” She smiles at you, letting the cup transition from hand to hand gracefully. Your skin touches as she hands it to you, and your heart beat picks up immediately. 

“Thank you!” You smile up at her. She plops down beside you, resting her arms on the back of the couch. 

You’re mid sip of the coffee, perfectly dressed up to your exact liking when Cat stands up from her seat. Nobody’s paying attention to the two of you, engaging in mindless conversation as you sip on your coffee. Nobody except her. 

An agitating snarl interrupts your moments of peace. “Awe, that was cute. You gonna write about it in your diary?” For a moment, the words don't register as anything other than irritating, but it's when you replay the sentence in your head that your face flushes hot with embarrassment. 

Your head shoots up from your drink, Cat’s across from you, kicking her feet up as nonchalantly as possible. 

“What?” You ask, voice laced with fear.  

“You heard me. You gonna add that to your little book of poems? Maybe plan out your love confession?” She smirks, looking between you and Ellie. At this point, your brother's head is lifting from the table, and Dina is peeking at the group of you from over the counter. 

It’s when you look over at Ellie for yourself that everything clicks. Her face is flushed white, her eyes widening in cats direction. There’s a disgusted look on her mouth, but it's her body language that gives her away. 

“Tell her, Ellie!” Cat gestures in your direction. 

Ellie swallows, and now every single pair of eyes in the room is on you. 

“Tell me what? What is she talking about?” You push, your eyebrows furrowed as you dig at her. Ellie pulls her arm off the couch, turning to you. 

The room has gone eerily silent, so much so that you can hear the sound of your own heart pounding against your chest, and the red hot shame running down your body. 

“I don't know what she’s talking about. She’s just being a bitch.” She persists, looking in the other girl's direction as she annunciates the final word. Your eyes don't leave Ellie, even when Cat snorts and Dina questions what’s going on from the other room. 

“She’s lying.” Your eyes drift. “We’ve had your diary this entire time, we read it together when we found it.” She laughs, “She thought it was really funny.” She shakes her head up and down, jutting out her lip condescendingly. 

Your brother looks over at you guys, a singular eyebrow raised. Even Jesse has tuned in to hear the drama now. 

You don't know what to say, the news crashes into you like a train. Your mind is racing at full speed, anger and disappointment running through your veins. You can’t tell if you should've seen this coming, or if it was the most ultimate betrayal you’ve ever felt. 

Ellie is in front of you, as silent as can be, while the girl on your side is destroying any trust for her that you’ve ever had. You walked into this, like a lamb to the slaughter. 

You felt her warmth, and now the cold betrayal that was to come after. She had read words you couldn’t even say, while leading you blindly into the fantasy of love. She thought it was funny. 

You could choose to believe Cat, who had no reason to tell you the truth, or Ellie, who had every reason to lie to you. The malice of both reactions makes your stomach churn. To steal your one prized possession and go through it like you were some made up character with no feelings was something sinister and awfully selfish. And to laugh in your face about it was simply just cruel. 

“Ellie, did you do that?” Your brother asks. His voice sounds foreign, and it reminds you that there's an entire room of people sitting around you, viewing your humiliation like cable television. 

This is possibly the worst situation fro someone to be put in, and it’s being broadcasted to everyone you know. 

The sound of Cats voice is reduced to an agitating hum as she recites different lines and passages from your diary. You can't even chalk yourself up to defend yourself to her, or to call her all the names you had been burning to label her as. All you can do is stare at Ellie, your eyes washing over with tears as you wait for her to respond, to tell you it’s not true. 

You sigh, nodding once in finality before standing up, but not before slamming the cup down on the coffee table, letting it spill all over your hands as you do so. You quickly exit the room, climbing up the stairs as quickly as possible. You hear Ellie calling out for you, and the sound of Dina heckling Cat for her absurd behaviour. 

You rush into your room, slamming the door behind you as you begin to gasp for air. Ellie had your dairy this entire time, while she slept in your bed, while she touched you and held you and pretended like it was all real, like you were hers. 

There’s a string of snot tickling your upper lip, you rub it away with the sleeve of your robe. You pull out your phone, racing for Callie’s contact. Your hands are sticky and shaking as you tap on your phone screen, bottom lip quivering as you press the device to your ear. 

She answers on the second ring, her voice cheerful and inquisitive on the other line. There’s overlapping voices coming from downstairs as you take a deep breath. 

“Are you okay? Did something happen?” Your best friend asks. She didn't even have to hear your voice to know, just the sound of your disgruntled, shaky, breaths. 

“I—” It takes you a minute to get the words out. “Ellie has had my fucking dairy this entire time, and she read it—with Cat.” You groan, your voice is wet and trembling, but you’re not quite sobbing. 

You can hear her gasp into the phone, a series of dehumanizing insults following suit. “I can’t believe that bitch. What the fuck!” She yells. You don’t know what to say next, you can’t even bring yourself to express the debilitating anger that was running through your body.

“Fuck.” You whisper, letting your head fall back against your door with a loud thud. There’s voices all around you, Callie comforting you through the phone, and Dina and your brother shouting downstairs. It’s all too much. 

“How did you even find out?!” 

“Cat told me! In the living room! In front of my brother.” You explain. “She said they read it together and laughed.” Callie practically screams into her phone, the sound causing you to instinctively pull the phone away from your ear.

“What the fuck. How dare they?! Is she okay? What the—Oh my god?!” You can hear her stomping through the house, huffing and puffing through the phone as she picks up her keys. 

“Don’t come here. You can’t.” You explain, sticking your finger into your ear to drown out the rest of the noise. “Everyone is still here.” Your voice is hushed, the phone pressed against your ear as you speak. 

“Kay, well…” She pauses for a moment, humming under her breath as she thinks. “I’m coming to get you. I’ll wait outside, okay?”

You dig your teeth into the flesh of your bottom lip, tugging anxiously at the skin that has already been bitten into a number of times this week. 

“Are you good with that?” She asks. 

“Yeah.” You reply, because you know that whatever you answer with won't matter to her. 

“I’m on the way, text you when I get there? Or do you want me to stay on the phone?” To be frank, you aren’t sure you’re able to handle her being on the phone until she gets here. You can already imagine what’s going to be said when you’re together, and that conversation can wait until it’s time comes.

“No, no…It’s okay, just text me when you get here.” You run your free hand down your face, sighing into the skin. 

“Hmm…okay.” You wince at her complete unwillingness. “Alright then. I’ll see you soon.” She reluctantly abides, wishing you good luck and reminding you that she loves you before hanging up the phone. 

You push a gentle gust of air through your lips, mimicking an exhale of frustration as your lips softly reverberate the noise. You stare into the vast familiarity of your bedroom, but you aren't really looking. You’re focusing on the beating in your chest as your eyes gloss over. 

There’s a little part of your brain yelling at you, the part that has never been good at giving you grace screams about how overdramatic you’re being, about how much this doesn't matter. Sure, it would be easier to forget about this, to accept it and move on—but your feelings won't move out of the way. 

You try to reconcile with the thought of forgiving and forgetting, but that wasn't you. A girl who forgives and forgets wouldn't have had that diary in the first place. There’s a high possibility that she wouldn't have gotten involved with Ellie Williams in the first place. 

You push yourself off the door, the sound of voices has faded into a tense silence. You weren’t sure if they had left, or just quieted down for the sake of de-escalation. Whatever it was, you were in no position to find out. 

You plush your robe off of your shoulders, tossing it carelessly into your sheets as you try not to think of the hours spent beneath them. You undress quickly, slipping into more public appropriate clothing. Shorts and a tanktop would have to work for now. 

You don't bother sitting down at your vanity, you had barely enough energy to walk out to the car, nevermind put on makeup. You accept the fact, and drop back down on the floor. 

You sit cross crossed with your back pressed against your bed frame, your phone in your lap as you scroll through your notifications. A few texts from the group chat with different drink requests that remind you of the night ahead, and a single text from Ellie that you quickly delete from your home screen. 

Like clockwork, another message pops up on your screen. It’s Callie, saving you from your own head once again. 

Cals: I’m heree

Another one comes in before you can finish reading.

Cals: nobody’s in the front, good sign ? 

You raise an eyebrow, standing up and grabbing your purse as you creep towards the door knob. 

You: coming

You: and idk, might’ve left to get drinks or something

You tiptoe down the hallway, then down the stairs as you listen for any commotion that may come with your brother's reckless peers. But when you reach the living room, there’s only two people left. Jesse is resting on the couch facing away from you as he calmly converses with another friend. 

You don’t say anything as you grab your shoes, promising to yourself that you would put them on in Callie’s car. You bolt out the door without looking back at the two of them, pulling it shut behind you. 

Her car is parked on the street, facing away from traffic. She’s still in the driver’s seat, looking down at what you assume is her phone. Just as you’re approaching the passenger side door, she looks up. She smiles sympathetically, reaching over and shoving the door into your direction. 

You thank her with a smile, and accept her arms as they wrap around your body. 

“My baby, how are you?” She coos, pouting as she pulls you into her. You pat her overlapping arms, leaning into her ever-so-slightly as she places fat, wet kisses on the side of your face. 

“I’m okay…” But it doesn't sound anything close to convincing. She pulls her arms away from you, turning the car back on while shooting you a look. The classic I know you’re fucking lying to me, bitch look that she had mastered in the years of your friendship. 

There had been a few cases where she would let your emotional suppression slide, not wanting to upset you further in your moments of inner turmoil. This time, you could not be so lucky. 

“You’re lying. Nobody is okay after finding out their girlfriend and number one public enemy read their diary together. And laughed.” She throws up two quotation marks with her manicured fingers, her bangles jingling as she moves her arm. You watch her face progress into more and more frustration as she paraphrases your version of events. 

“She’s not my girlfriend.” You deadpan, rolling your eyes as the car begins to move. Callie shakes her own head, looking over to you. 

“Yo, seatbelt.” She gestures to the still dangling belt with her head. You nod, reaching back and pulling the strap over your chest. When it clicks in place Callie turns her head back to the road. 

“It’s just like—I feel like such an idiot.” You sigh, letting your head fall back against the leather of the seat. 

Callie nods, humming under her breath as she turns. “What I don’t understand is why…like what do they gain from that?” She throws one up one of her hands, rolling her eyes as she speaks. 

“When me and her weren’t talking last week I was so upset. But now I’m just mad!” You pull one of your legs up from the ground, shaking your head as you tuck it under your other. You broke your promise of shoving your shoes onto your feet once you had settled because all your mind can focus on is the boiling point that your emotions were reaching. 

“Like—you fucking took my diary and read it with your little side piece while also leading me on? Like okay, what do you gain from that?”  You throw your hands up. 

“What’s her deal with Cat? Are they like fucking? Or?” Callie asks. You sigh, the entire previous night flashing before your eyes. You haven't told Callie yet, partly because it’s so recent, and also because you were scared of her reaction. 

“Who fucking knows, dude. She told me she’s not, like last night, and then this happens? It’s bullshit.” Your friend nods in support, looking behind her to check for any other cars. You start speaking again as she switches lanes. 

“But I do want to believe her…” Your voice trails off at the end as you push your head in the direction of the window.  You huff, focusing on the low speed of traffic. The calmness of the very few cars on the road. 

“What if it was all a lie? And Cat’s mad because Ellie ‘chose’ you?”—Yo! Can this asshole stop?!” You smirk at her throwing her hand out of the car, cussing loudly at the car cutting her own vehicle off. 

She continues, “But I dunno, how did she react? Did she confirm or deny? What did she say?” 

“Literally nothing. She just sat there looking fucking stupid.” You explain. 

Callie grimaces, looking over at you before reaching for the ac. She turns the air up by a few notches before shaking her head. “Saying nothing says a lot…” 

You only nod, letting the words sink in as your eyes count the houses that you pass by. You try to guess what’s going on inside each one, assigning lives to each front door. You can’t help but wonder if you’ll ever make your way back here. 

“I don't really wanna think about it anymore.” You whisper into the passing wind. The two of you both know you’re not quite telling the truth. You didn't want to talk about it anymore, but you would spend the rest of your life thinking about it if the circumstances allowed it. 

Callie nods, opening her phone and connecting the Bluetooth. She hands it to you without another word, and turns the volume of her stereo almost all the way up. 

You select a random song, not caring for whatever may play. You spend the rest of the drive staring out the window. 

When you arrive, she attempts to peel into today's events, you waste no time stopping her. She wants you to talk about it, but you can’t even think about it without feeling nauseous. 

The afternoon quickly settles into a calm ambiance. You both silently promise not to bring it up again, while the feeling of dread and impending doom looms over you. You play Mario kart, gossip about people you only sort of know, and eat like your lives depend on it. It’s good, you’re content. 

The hours go by painfully fast. With the plethora of tasks that Callie had you doing to take your mind off of Ellie, you had blinked and it was 9 o'clock. 

Now, you are sitting in front of her mirror, criss-crossed on the floor as you apply the finishing touches to your mascara. The rest of your friend group is piling in, Jack and Paris sitting on Callie’s bed as they laugh over dumb inside jokes. 

There were still a few missing, others who wanted to get ready in the comfort of their own homes. But no matter how many people were talking at you, your mind still couldn’t slow down. 

Callie wraps a curling wand around a chunk of her hair, purring about how the waves will make her highlights pop. You chuckle, reaching for a few of the locks in the back. 

“You missed a spot.” You point out, reaching for a thick section behind her ear. “Here, gimme the curler—” you reach for the wand, meeting her eyes in the mirror as she holds it out for you. 

“I haven't done the back yet.” She states, turning her head all the way to the side. You nod, taking the hot rod from her hand and adjusting her head. 

“So, what's going on at yours?” Jack asks. His question, although too specific to be for anyone else, just kind of dissipates into the room. There’s an awkward silence for a moment, your hands in Callie’s hair as the other two stare down at you.  

 When you finally realise that the inquiry is directed at you, you look up at them. “Oh—who, me?” You ask, “Nothing much, people mostly just come there to sleep.” You joke. 

You’re not stupid, you know he’s prying for information on the Ellie situation. You guess that Callie might’ve briefed them before they arrived, considering they’ve been walking on eggshells with you since they walked through the door. 

“Everything’s chill, honestly.” You smile up at them, humming as you pull the rod away form Callie’s head, reaching for another small piece and repeating the gesture. 

They nod, almost in unison, accepting your answer as worthy enough to suffice. You silently thank god that they wouldn't be prying further. 

The group falls into comforting conversation as you make your way around the crown of your friends head. It doesn't take long before others are filling in, Declan, Sam, and eventually Abby all pile into the room, cracking jokes and passing out greetings as they enter. 

They greet you and Callie from above, chuckling at the position you were in to get the last curl in place. Callie’s quick to reach for Declan’s vape, and immediately start harping on them about their tardiness. 

Abby smiles down at you, waving as a cloud fo smoke leaves her mouth. You stick your tongue out of the corner of your mouth before turning your attention back to Callie. 

“When are we dipping?” Declan asks, pushing Paris’s head to the side with much more force that you imagine he intended. He slides in next to her on the bed, laughing to himself as she calls him a jackass. 

“Right away. She’s finishing my hair and then we will depart.” Callie points in their direction as she speaks. 

Sam is quick to respond, a boyish giggle falling from his lips as he looks up from his phone. “Nobody says depart” He laughs. Declan nods in agreement.

Callie flips the duo off. “You’re a faggot.” She throws at Sam. At this point, you’ve dropped the last curl. Callie stands, groaning as she reaches for the bottle of hairspray on her vanity.  

“Interesting.” Sam responds, jokingly stroking his chin.

”Super. Let’s go.” She grabs her purse, beckoning you all up from your spots. 

“Can she say that?” One of them whispers from behind you, earning a laugh from the entire group. 

Abby leans over, offering her hand to help you up from the floor. You accept, smiling as you take it. Her hands are warm, calloused like Ellie’s, but with their own subtle softness at the palms. 

“Thanks.” You whisper, tugging down your skirt. She smiles, revealing a row of pearly enamel. It’s comforting in a way that you can’t quite explain. 

She nods before walking out in front of you. 

The group ends up separating into two cars. You, Paris, and Callie get comfortable in Callie’s vehicle. The others cram into Abby’s while Jack screams about how glad he is that he isn't a designated driver. 

Abby shoots you an exaggerated pout as she pulls the drivers side door open. You chuckle, waving her off as you step into Callie’s car. 

“Gonna miss you!” One of the boys shouts from the car. The three of you laugh, rolling your eyes at their energy. 

Callie leans over you, “We’re going to the same place!” She shouts out the window, earning her a middle finger from Declan. 

She snorts before glancing behind her. She pulls out the driveway first, waiting up a few feet for the other vehicle to make it onto the road. 

For everyone else, the drive was lively and excitement-building. But you couldn’t quite say the same. You tried to entertain the conversation, but it was hard to keep up with Callie’s booming singing of the unreleased Morning Dew (donk) while you were trapped in a never ending cycle of doom. 

You forced out laughs as she meandered on about her current boy toy, a boy who looked mysteriously similar to Jude Bellingham and was over the legal drinking age. And laughed as Paris called her a hoe. 

You could tell your best friend was aware of the internal agitation that was interrupting your ability to exist, she always was. And with your emotional upheaval from earlier that day, surely it was no secret. 

“Bitch! Lift your spirits!” Callie yells, pushing her hand into your shoulder. Your other friend yells too, pushing herself up from the backseat. 

As Paris’s head floats through the open sunroof, Callie continues to press you. 

“Everything’s gonna be good. Fuck her, and fuck Cat!” She leaves her warm palm against your shoulder. “You have to say it!” She looks over at you, smiling as she takes a left turn. 

Paris even pulls herself back into the car, yelling the words into your ears before going back up. “Fuck Cat!” She shouts out of the sunroof. 

You clap a hand over your mouth, eyes widening. You can't keep yourself from laughing, turning slightly in your seat to grab at her legs. 

“Paris! Out of the sunroof?!” You shout, an unwavering laugh interrupting your words. She slaps your hands away, falling back into her seat. 

Callie snorts, rolling down her window and shoving her head into the cold nighttime air. “Fuck Cat!” She screams. You slap her arm, reaching to pull her back into the car. Suddenly, the vehicle swerves on the empty road, causing the three of you to go still in your seats.  Your eyes widen, a second of silence filling the car before you eventually snort, pulling on Callie’s arm until her head is back in the car. 

“Okay…no more reckless driving. Lock in.” Paris lays her hands flat on the console between you and Callie, chuckling as she speaks. The both of you agree, nodding as you stifle your animated teenage giggles. 

The rest of the drive holds what you can only describe as good energy. It wasn't exactly the shared sparks of excitement, or anything remotely close to it. But your anxiety had shrunken into something a tad bit more manageable. 

When you arrive, the lawn is already being used as storage for the overflowing groups of strangers that hadn't made their way inside yet. The porch is lined with bottles and cans galore, a half full bottle of pink whitney is on the steps, no cap in sight and lipstick marks around the neck. 

“These people have no chill. Why is everyone an alcoholic?” Your friend jokes, following you up the steps. The rest of the group are right behind you, laughing and joking within their own small circle. 

You squeeze through a clump of people upholding the line, a bong being passed between partygoers who are clearly lacking in the self awareness department. Callie looks at you, a small smirk on her face as she glances back to the people with the bong. 

“People are dumb.” You roll your eyes, holding the door open for the rest of your friends to push their way into the entryway. 

Callie stands beside you, nodding her head. “I’ll say.” The two of you chuckle, standing silently for a few extra moments as the last of your friends pile in. 

“I’m ready to drink!” Callie announces to your friends, her booming voice catching everyone’s attention immediately. 

Jack jerks his thumb in her direction, “Driving, by the way.” He announces. Chuckles reverberate through the circle at his comment. Callie slaps his arm. 

“Yeah, me too.” You nod, glancing over each side of you for anyone you may find familiar. You sigh at the sight of your home, groups of strangers taking shots and passing joints between them as loud music violates your eardrums. 

Your anxiety slowly creeps back up on you as you step into the kitchen. The amount of people in your home was bordering on suffocating. And the thought of having to face your brother or any of his friends was causing the hairs on your arms to stand up. 

You try to combat it with deep breaths as your friends start to take up the kitchen, strangers falling out of the back door into the backyard. Eventually, a small glass is shoved into your hands, clear liquid spilling from the top as your friend knocks her glass against yours. 

You take the shot. And then another. 

It doesn't take long before you’re aimlessly mixing different things together, pouring whatever you could wrap your sticky fingers around into a red solo cup. You’re conscious of the choices you’re making, you know your limits! Is what you told yourself as the liquid spilling from the Malibu bottle in your hand slaps against your cup. 

The bottle is quickly snatched by Paris, who promptly fills her own cup with the coconut flavoured rum. Her tongue peeks out of the corner of her mouth before she leaves you in the kitchen to join the party. 

You cringe as you take a fat gulp of your drink, swiping the remnants of alcohol off of your mouth with the back of your hand. When you look up from your cup, Abby’s is looking down at you, an eyebrow raised in amusement. 

“Jesus.” She laughs, leaning over to peer into the red plastic in your hand. 

“I know. It’s bad.” You reply, raising it to your lips once again. She grimaces as you take another sip, shaking her head. 

“You’re brave.” She acknowledges, mindlessly copying your previous actions. 

You nod. You’re not really. Not even close, but it feels good to hear, so you let it happen. “What’s in yours?” You gesture to her drink. 

She holds the cup up to her face, swallowing her sip. “Something watermelon, it’s not very good though.” She shrugs, offering it out to you. You accept, bringing the cup to your lips. 

The second the liquid hits your lips you’re pulling the cup away. You reluctantly swallow as Abby takes the cup back. “Jesus Christ. That’s—strong.” You grimace. 

The blonde nods. “I know. Sour as fuck.” 

“Did you cut it with anything? Water? Coke?” You inquire, peering into the cup to investigate. 

“Sprite.” She admits. You look up at her, a half fake disgusted look on your face. She bares teeth as she laughs at your reaction. 

“That’s so wrong.” You joke, your face shifting from slightly disgusted to absolutely mortified. The both of you know it’s humorous, your laughs mixing into a harmonious rhythm. 

Usually, this would be when you squeezed out of the conversation and retreated back to your best friend. But right now, you had no intention of leaving Abby’s side. You had grown fonder of her in the recent weeks, the two of you naturally clicked upon introduction. 

“That’s so fucked. Sprite is nasty.” You announce between giggles. Abbys nods along, accepting the teasing with a smile. She chuckles, running a hand over her face. 

You lift your head to take another sip of your drink, your eyes widening as you bring the cup back to your lips. The alcohol had started hitting. Suddenly, the liquor in your cup didn't taste as bad as before, and your stomach was hot with intoxication. 

“You tipsy?” Abby inquires. You didn't want to admit it yet, but whatever you mixed together just a few minutes ago was probably not best for human consumption. 

“Nah, not yet.” You promise before taking another sip of your drink. You can feel yourself walking the line between sober and tipsy, and force another gulp down your throat before placing the empty cup down on the counter. 

“Hey, I’m gonna pee! I’ll be right back!” You announce. Abby nods and shoots you a civil thumbs up, turning around to search for the rest of your group. 

You quickly scurry off into the crowd, the sticky air clinging to the skin cells of your arms as you make your way to the staircase. You bump into a couple dudes swaying into each other, chanting the lyrics to the bass-boosted version of Right Now by partynextdoor. Ironic, considering you were the party next door.  

You have to slide in between two girls' conversation in order to actually get up the stairs, trying not to roll your eyes at the fact that they are standing opposite each other on a single staircase. Some bitches really have no sense of awareness! 

You huff, shaking your head as you finally climb that final step. The second floor is practically vacant compared to the kitchen and living room. There’s maybe four people up here, a small stream of smoke flowing out from the crack in your brother's door as people travel in and out.

You chuckle and shake your head, reminding yourself to slip in there for a hit of whatever was being passed around. Thankfully, there’s no line for the bathroom. In fact, the door is wide open, inviting you in with open arms. 

The room is hot and confined. But nonetheless solitude. You slide in and close the door behind you, pulling your phone out. There’s nothing new, zero notifications besides Pinterest letting you know they found some more bullshit for you to save. 

You kiss your teeth, practically tossing the device onto the counter. It doesn't take long for you to finish your business, standing up and carrying yourself to the sink. You almost stutter as you step, the cup of bullshit clearly starting to take effect. 

You quickly wash up, looking down as the suds of soap begin to appear on your hands. You focus on them, and the way your hands feel like static after rubbing them together for too long. 

You pick your phone up again, and pretend that you’re not hoping for some kind of human interaction. A text from your mother would suffice, or even a snap, even though you absolutely despise that app. But of course, there's nothing. 

You put your phone back and look into the mirror. For a minute you kind of just stand there. Silently analyzing every pore and hair out of place. You wonder how the random partygoers would rate you out of ten, and rank yourself lower than you actually believe in order to keep yourself humble. 

You sigh, tugging on the doorknob. You step into the hallway with one thing on your mind. Okay, maybe two. But a joint to settle your nerves was your number one priority. Why be just drunk when you can be even more inebriated than legal? 

Except your idea is tainted when you reach your brother's room. The door is shut, a gentle hue soaking the floor in front of your feet from beneath and two voices floating through the door. One of them sounds angry, while you can't really place the tone of the other. 

You take a step closer, gently pressing an ear to the door. You steady it with your hands, careful not to make a sound. As soon as your skin meets the cold wood, and the music is drowned out by cuss words and harsh hushes, you recognize the voices. 

Ellie and Cat, having what seems to be a massive argument. They’re only protected by your brother's door, and maybe the liquid courage sinking into their veins as they go back and forth. 

You silently suck your breath in, closing your eyes as you try to really focus on the words that are being thrown around. Before, it was just mumbles of nonsense and aggravated groans. 

“She’s your best friend's sister! You’re so fucking weird for that.” Is the first sentence that you’re able to make out. And it catches you off guard. You expected it to have something to do with you, sure. But to hear it was different. 

“It’s not really that weird, Cat. I don't know what to tell you.” Ellie responds. And even though it's nothing special, it makes your heart flutter. Just a little.

“Why her? She’s not your type at all!” Cat yells. You feel like you should pull away, and make your walk back down to the kitchen. For your sake and theirs. 

Because if you’re being honest. You are scared of Ellie’s response. 

“As opposed to? You?” Ellie chuckles. “I don't have a type, hop off.” 

Cat scoffs. It’s loud enough for you to hear through the door, so you can only imagine how miserable it is for Ellie to be in there with her, alone. Cat begins to speak again, calling you a few offhand names while her voice strugg;es to keep up with her. 

“She’s weird. And clearly delusional if she thinks—” 

“Oh my god, Cat. Shut up.” Ellie is quick to interrupt her, but she continues to speak. Her words get more and more malicious as she proceeds. 

You pull your ear off of the door, deciding that if you were going to keep listening, you would need another drink. Part of you wishes Ellie would’ve said a little more. But the other side of your brain, the more radical side, realizes that you wouldn't know what to do if that bitch was pressing you either.

The stairs are wobbling as you step down them. You bring your hands to the walls beside you, steadying yourself as you move down them. Cats' words continue to replay in your head as you walk over to the drink table. Weird, delusional, ugly. 

She didn't actually call you the last one, but your brain found it logical that she would think that, even if nobody else did. 

You pick up a bottle of vodka and a brand new red cup to fill it with. You pour just until the indent before taking the shot, and then repeat. It’s methodical, an action that you’ve grown quite good at since you’ve come home. 

Your eyes search the room for your friends, taking another shot of vodka when you fail to locate any of them. You grimace at the taste, shaking your head at the tingle in your tongue. 

Your throat is hot when you look up, your stomach sinking to your feet when you’re faced with no other than Cat. Storming towards the kitchen, black miniskirt riding up her tattooed legs. 

“Fuck” you whisper to yourself, slamming the cup down on the table. There was no way she wasn’t heading directly for you,  Ellie not on her trail as she pushed through innocent dancers without even so much as an apology. 

“Are you good?” She asks as she approaches. Ellie was already gone, maybe lost in the crowd, or the overwhelming embarrassment she was feeling from the disaster she had caused. 

You almost choke as you speak. “Am I?” You reply. You try to feign nonchalance, to maybe get her off your ass. But in reality, your face is hot with shame, your fingers trembling at your side. 

“Yeah, you!” She picks at you. She’s so obviously trying to pick a fight that its laughable. You look down at your cup, pouring another shot. 

You expect her to leave, but of course, it was Cat. And the universe just simply wasn't that kind. “Y’know—You’re really pathetic.” She inches closer. 

There’s people looking up at you now, curious eyes lifting from their phones, or their partners, or whatever the fuck they were doing. 

“In case you didn't know, me and Ellie have been seeing each other all summer.” She shoots at you. You had already figured as such, but the confirmation did sting a little. Your anxiety is building by the second, your eyes glossing over as you stare down at your cup. Where the fuck is Callie?

You raise the cup to your lips, still ignoring the girl. “Are you gonna say anything?! Or what” She slaps the clip out of your hand, causing the small bit of liquid to fall onto your chest, painting your top dark.

You look up at her, “Bitch! You’re dumb!” Is all you can muster, your eyebrows crossed as you you look her up and down. Her face falters for a moment, before returning to its naturally bitchy state.  She look’s smug, unmoved as she digs into you a little further. Part of you wishes you could raise your first to her face, maybe that would make you feel better.

There’s phones out now, flashes on as they try to pick up on the words you guys are saying over the music. People are mumbling from all sides of you, a few people laughing leisurely with their groups as they silently cheer for you to scrap.

“Yeah, well. You’re dumber for thinking that Ellie loves you.” Is the final blow. You aren't sure whether to swing or to sob, but before you can react, someone’s pushing her away from you, a string of cuss words leaving their mouth as they shove her towards the exit. 

It takes you a moment to register what’s going on. Callie’s hands are on your shoulders, a wide smile on her face as she applauds you for whatever the fuck just happened. Dina’s the one yelling at Cat, telling her to leave, and that they already told her they don't wanna see her again. 

“Did she just cuss you out?!” Callie inquires, looking down at your shirt. “Your shirt! Oh my god, what the fuck is her problem!” The brunette rolls her eyes, glancing in the direction of the front door. 

Now that she’s gone, everyone is staring at you, they heard the words that came out of her mouth. The humiliation, the fact that she wasn't even wrong. It was all too much. 

“C’mon let's go.” Callie whispers, removing her hands from your shoulders. She wraps her hand in yours, reaching for a seltzer off the counter. 

When you look up, your brother’s eyes are staring right back at you. He’s surrounded by Dina and Ellie, all three of them giving you a different look. Him absolutely furious while Dina pity’s you from afar. You don't even spare Ellie a glance. 

You’ll be gone soon, you remind yourself, squeezing Callie’s hand as she drags you upstairs. Summer was nearing its end, and if it came on this note, you’re not sure when you would return.