𝐏𝐎𝐖𝐄𝐑 / decay.

“not to disagree with you babe, but we need you strong, jock types to help the rest of us survive, please.” she exaggerated the last word with a pleading tone and hands clasped together. elise giggled, finding it cute how uncensored cherry could be. “i’m pretty sure ocd is medical, not sexual but i don’t know what documentary you watched.” it was nice to walk along and laugh together, almost like where they were was temporary. 

“you were worried about me?” it was supposed to sound playful, matching cherry’s joking tone but elise wasn’t used to hearing that, especially recently, and her voice broke on the word me. she accepting the invitation to sit  beside cherry, crossing her legs and resting her arm on her leg and her chin in her hand. “well, rip great-grandpa.” she groaned at cherry’s impression of her. “that sounds nothing like me, bitch. “ she was surprised how many questions she could have from just one sentence cherry said, why was she always so excited to talk t this girl. “well, if you do recall i was rudely interrupted by you so there was no petit mort.” she grinned with a teasing smile. “why would that be embarrassing…..are you into margo?”

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she knew elise was right.  in spite of the  dramatic sigh escaping her lips and her tone slipping into a slight whiny timbre, it was true. she’s seen the forearms on most of these bitches.   still, she couldn’t help but add a tiny little protest:     “ but wouldn’t it be smarter for me to, like, preserve my energy in case of a bear fight or something ?  i feel like i’m the character in the movie who has an awesome gryffindor moment like     near the end    where i just save everyone’s ass. ”       as if taking down a bear would be less work than picking up sticks.

-

         when the girls first crashed onto the island, alexa thought it end of the world. there was absolutely nothing about the whole entire situation that appeared even remotely positive. as days went on though, that changed. everything changed. and now things that used to matter, seemed insignificant. whereas things she’d not even considered, not spared a second glance, were now at the centre of her life. and at the centre of the centre – was cherry. the girl had been like a soulmate. like that story she had read once as a kid, about souls that were friends in another realm and recognised each other in this one. the two clicked instantly, like milk and honey. 

        now she observed the other with a grin on her face, loving how much cherry actually appreciated the wardrobe, loving how well the colours suited her, how perfect the sizes were. as she was admiring her, she nearly did not clock what the other was saying. but then a laugh passed her lips and she nodded. “so what you’re saying is, ohio is the american version of yorkshire.” she pushes her hair back as she leans against the palm tree, enjoying the shade and the light breeze and imagining the two actually walking around london. going for brunch, drinking bujiee overpriced champagne. “my god, you must come. maybe we could move in together! wouldn’t that be fucking amazing!” her eyes narrow as she goes off. “just imagine yeah, us in a penthouse. private chef while we chill by the pool talkin’’bout assholes who tried and…possibly succeeded, at smashing the night before. then we get all dressed up, eat, go shopping, get kinda high….bitch…” she leans back again, closing her eyes. “that’s life.” 

       “that colour looks amazing on you, by the way.” she’ll add, an afterthought but it had to be said. “you reckon we would’ve vibed this much had we made it to hawaii? sometimes i wonder like…ya’ know, joss, jenny, shane and them…pretty sure they would not have even looked my way…” 

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                    she was nervous prior to the conversation.  expecting a half-assed, less enthusiastic,  ya sure from alexa in return, the real life version of H.A.G.S written on your yearbook with *we must hang* signed underneath only to never speak again.  in fact, she had already had a backtracked statement ready to be spewed if her friend didn’t care for the self invitation.   it’s why her eyes widen, for only a moment, both surprised and appreciative alexa took the jump of being roommates.  “ move in together ? ”   dumping the life of ohio and the system of america in general to up and move across the pond.    fuck yes.    the response was nearly contagious, a swirl of giggles releasing from cherry, feeling giddy from the current conversation.   “ drinking mimosas and banging british dudes together ? ”   well not together but  -    “ oh my gosh, do you think i’ll be able to meet arrdee ? ”    that is life.   one she actually wouldn’t dread living.

the touch was electric and elise found herself leaning into it, despite the night before swearing off on crushes or anything alike. she noticed how over the idea of chores cherry was and it made her giggle, like some movie teen or something, a reminder of how young they still were. “what sort of chores? plus, are you sure in punishment? they dont seem like the type to get off on that.”

she bit her lip as her eyes creased shut, how embarrassing, cherry would be watching as she drooled and snored her way through the night, zonked beyond. “thanks, stalker.” she teased, moving in to nudge cherry, grateful for a bit more touch. “did i say anything embarrassing?”

“ like hunting for food and gathering sticks and shit, nothing fun. ”   not your typical chores, oh how she missed complaining about needing to load the dishwasher.     “ maybe not punishment, but don’t they seem like the type to get off on order ?  you know, like those OCD people who can’t have an O unless they clean their doorknob or something. it’s real, i saw it on a documentary before. ”    or read it on a reddit post.   either way it didn’t take much for her to believe it was possible.

when: day 10, late morning

where: a few feet away from camp

@wildshub​ 

​elise’s eyes opened to the bright sky and she couldn’t help but squint and groan a little. it took even a few more minutes before she could really gather her thoughts, who she was, where she was, little scraps of memories and dreams converged and as she rose to her elbows and looked around the camp at the girls it all came rushing back that she was in a knock off lord of the flies. 

elise sighed and sat up, feeling the dryness of her mouth and a slight bit of nausea due to her empty stomach but overall not so bad. she focused on doing a head count and realized they were all there. a sigh of relief chased away the tears and a curious new item on the beach caught her attention.  

“what did i miss?” she asks, a yawn following up. the walk over to whoever was close was still a little staggered, but elise was equally useless drowsy or panicked so, the side effects seemed irrelevant. 

                               I don't care if it was only a dream              It was all too real to let go   I don't care if it was only a dream                           Because it's better than being alone

“first of all, it feels longer. nine days? are you sure?” time wasn’t real on this island, nothing more than sunrise, sunset. growing up being homeschooled, schedules were not much of a big deal, and when she swtiched to online classes after the incident, she was able to set her own schedule of half-assing assignments. 

elise sighed, her eyes wandered cherry up and down, and a cautiously flirtatious smile. “didnt you say that seeing all these beautiful girls got in your head…maybe that a thing we have in common?” was it a really poor way to ask cherry’s prefrences, yes. but, it was said and elise had no choice but to feel that twirling, gross experience that happens in the pit of your stomach, embarassment.

she couldn’t help but laugh at the teasing, and it felt calm, a sensation elise didn’t commonly know. “running everyday, ambitious. how do you relax?” the blonde paused for a moment, replaying what cherry said and leaning into it. “is that you saying you’re hoping catching me masturbating will be a daily routine?”

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      “ nope, nine days.  i’m sure as shit,  i’ve been keeping track. ”  by making sloppy tally marks on dirty pink paper, but it was keeping track nonetheless. she offers elise a playful roll of her eyes, her lips pulling into a smile.    “ i didn’t say that verbatim, fuck off. ”    she clarifies, missing the point of the other’s question like a moron.      “ besides, they clearly haven’t gotten into my head as much as they’ve gotten into yours. paddling the pink canoe before nightfall ?  your imagination must be colorful.  "   

boo, bitch, thought alana, rolling her eyes at how quickly cherry cowered in her presence. while she never particularly enjoyed being talked down to, after spending nine days in this hellhole with a bunch of druggies and sad socialites, she was actually starting to miss the intellectual stimulation public high school provided her with. what started as a promising spark on cherry’s tongue fizzled out like a smothered cigarette, reminding alana just why she couldn’t stand the fellow cheerleader in the first place: she wasn’t much of a leader, at all.

“ something fucking weird, that’s what. ” and she couldn’t be the only one who felt it. as early as day one, the stars seemed to align all-too-perfectly against them, from the plane crash, to jill, to the potential necro running lose among them. alana flicked one of the ear plugs, letting it bob away from the group as she squinted to meet cherry’s gaze. “ seriously. if the bermuda triangle is in the carribbean, we’ve landed in the fifth timeshare of hell. ”

                           ←     ♡      ・     →  

the chicken cutlets joke deserved at least a laugh, she thinks. despite it being wasted on someone as miserable as alana, it was both hilarious and creative. enough for her to know she can pocket the joke and use it on someone else.   feeling unappreciated for her humor wasn’t the point:   obviously something weird is going on, that, at least, the two can agree on. the universe is undoubtedly stacked against the group but as far as cherry was concerned it was only in the usual fucked-up-things-happen sort of way. nothing more than that.

YOU HAVE TO LOVE THE SKIN YOU’RE IN FIRST.     

              a plethora of her biological mother’s words are scribbled on papers hidden beneath her pillow, but that’s the phrase that stuck with cherry the most. stubborn cherry, argued down by a woman who knew all too well what this world will tell her about the body she was born in.

elise sighed, feeling the an intense heat that probably reflected by red in her cheeks. “oh, hey!” she said awkwardly, of course it would be cherry. the hot girl who was talking to her about masturbation and repressed lesbianism the night before, which may or may have not put the idea in elise’s head of sneaking away for some self-love.

she tried to slyly retie her bikini bottoms, but she could tell from the jokes she was caught and her best course of action was to try and laugh it off with the brunette. “yeah, told you there were ways to do it without getting sand down there.” elise didn’t remember a lot of their conversation, thanks to the alcohol and her near- panic episode, and she wasn’t sure how much cherry did either. “i heard orgasms help with headaches, and i am hungover as fuck. you must be ok though, are you jogging?”

                            ←     ♡      ・     →  

     it was meant to be a joke,  her lips parting into a O shape when elise confirms what she had been doing beneath the water.   shaking her head in both disappointment and disbelief.     “ but it’s only been nine days. ”     she begins between giggles, like a little kid.   “ you can’t go nine days without masturbating ? ”     even as she speaks,  her tone drops into a whisper on the word as if her parents would jump out behind a tree at any moment.

         one of lex’s swim suits wrap around cherry’s frame, one of the only attires she hadn’t grown  tired of wearing since it showed up just a few days prior. the other being one of the long robes the two can often be seen matching in.  it was a testament towards her relationship with lex as well.  not that cherry necessarily got tired of any of the others   just yet,   but something about alexa was just as comforting as the clothes she had allowed her to wear.    perhaps it was a distant feeling of friendship in an atypical situation that helped her feel more at ease.  she could only pray it was mutual.

when: day 9, 11am

where: near the waterfall

tw: masturbation

elise wasn’t proud of it, in fact her mother’s catholic guilt had made its way to the surface, but as a lonely lesbian virgin trapped on an island with a beautiful choir of women, elise needed to masturbate.

she took the opportunity to escape to a quiet spot in the water, where she didn’t think anyone would go to, not like she was the sort to attract company.

she lay in the water, floating, letting the water take hold like the grasp of a strong woman. her borrowed bikini top remain as she undid one side of the bikini bottoms.

she heard a rustling, and stopped, opening her eyes.

“hello? Is someone there?

                             ←     ♡      ・     →  

jogging wasn’t just a way for cherry to clear her mind,  it was also incredibly grounding to feel her heart-rate go up.   to over- do it,  kneel down with sweat falling and a pain in her ribcage, it reminded her that she was alive.   in an odd way, it felt good.  her journey through the jungle, towards the waterfall, was both an attempt to shake off the migraine that had formed as a result of getting too cross-faded the night before, and to feel that familiar pain.

when: day 9, 1 am

where: dawn of eve’s base camp / beach

jude couldn’t sleep. she sat with one knee pulled to her chest and one leg sprawled out in front of her, feeling very much like the sound of the waves was slowly but surely driving her genuinely and certifiably insane. remember that scene in the handmaids tale where the bitch in red thinks she’s hearing “heaven is a place on earth” in the sounds of the hospital machinery? well, that was jude with the waves, except it was “my own worst enemy” by lit. seriously, she felt that in the sound of the dull waves crashing against the packed wet sand, lit themselves were singing to her from some far off yacht or whatever, coming to rescue them all.

it’s no surprise to me, i am my own worst enemy…. 

she hummed along briefly in tune to the waves before realizing that something was seriously wrong with her, probably. fuck. she stretched her arms behind her neck in a triangle, nervous habit, and bit her bottom lip, spitting out some sand. her mouth was always full of fucking sand. gross. shuffling to her feet, sand covering her jeans in patches, she swiped at the ground for the flashlight and turned it on. 

something about the numbing bite at her brain and the way her throat felt swollen on the inside unnerved her; she probably needed sleep, but who could sleep in a situation this un-fucking-believable? selfishly, and genuinely unconsciously, some part of her needed not to be alone with herself right now, needed to make sure she wasn’t really going nuts. she padded over to the nearest body, laid out on the shore, and shone the bright flashlight at their face. “routine consciousness check,” she said dryly, licking her lips and gazing down at the person she’d just rudely interrupted. 

‘cause every now and then, i kick the living shit outta me…

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          to her luck,  cherelle usually had no problem with sleep.   after a few tosses and turns, her back adjusts to the granular sand and she’s able to snooze like a baby.   again,   usually.  today, much to the dismay of her biological clock, she was awoken by a bright light that hadn’t been related to the sun.   her eyebrows furrowed before her hues peered open to see the cause, having already abandoned the idea that it was any form of help.   of course not.   just jude.