elise jaegar

she cleared her throat, knowing she might be using some rusty vocal cords by speaking above her typical volume in order to address the group. “hey, does anyone remember how long we’ve been here?” she wasn’t sure the status of their record keeping given all the change ups the group had encountered recently. “when do you think they figured it out, like back home? what do you think your, i don’t know, people at home think happened or like, do you think you were the subject of vigils and things?” she knew she wasn’t, an incredibly short answer gave all the insight into the jaegar dynamics one needed, there was nothing. 

…

shane couldn’t help but let out a huff of a chuckle. while she was encouraging elise to talk about her problems, shane did not want to do the same. a bit hypocritical. but maybe it would help them both to talk about it. not to mention she trusted elise more than most of the eves. “okay, fine, we can take turns. so what’s eating you up?” she said finally, picking up a leaf from the ground and fidgeting with it in her hands. “yeah, the starving thing is kind of a given. though, it was nice to finally have meat again and i think oona was able to save most of it yesterday.”

shane was not optimistic, in fact, she was probably one of the most pessimistic of the group. shane was just really good at lying and pretending like everything was going to be okay for the sake of the group. plus, she didn’t want to trigger elise by being honest. the last the she wanted was for the other girl to go running off into the the jungle again. “i don’t, but it’s not going to help us if we’re negative and just give up. we have to keep trying.”

**

Elise ran her chewed up nails against the roughness of the rock underneath her while she tried to find the words that would be honest enough to reward Shane’s kindness of coming over and checking on her, without sending the other running off to never want to speak with her again. “I just have all this, worry i guess, fear seems more accurate, that bad things will keep happening.” And i'm why, she thought but didn't dare to say.Another stray tear fell and she made sure to turn her head away, try and play it off like an itch underneath her eye. “This is going to make me sound like a dick, but i’m not used to caring about other people so much.”

Elise was surprisingly chill on the matter. Odessa didn’t know whether to be grateful or curious. Though honestly, she was tired as hell at the moment so if she was going to be curious, it’d have to wait till tomorrow.

Thank you but you’re not a bitch.  “No, I am,” Odessa said with a bobbing head, sure of the matter and not wanting Elise to deny it for the sake of making the conversation more pleasant. It’s not like Odessa had distaste for the label either. It’s just what she had a tendency for being from time to time. She didn’t feel strongly about it.

Can I ask you something? Odessa didn’t expect Elise to have a question but she wasn’t against it. “Yeah, shoot.” She was in the wrong between the both of them so she wasn’t opposed to giving Elise more of her time or answers depending on what Elise asked. What’s going on with you and Izzy? Aaaand suddenly she wanted to take back what she said a second ago. Don’t shoot. Aim that question somewhere else. Odessa licked her lips, glancing to the side momentarily as she thought of what to say on the spot. If she wasn’t here apologizing, she would have said ‘no, I don’t feel comfortable telling you’ but given everything, Odessa felt Elise deserved something. Especially after what she did.

“We’re just– really close,” she settled for saying. “Probably closer than we should be right now.” It was an answer without getting into it. While Odessa was appreciative that Elise accepted her apology, she didn’t think she owed the blonde a more thorough explanation than that either. “It’s fine though. We worked it out.” Not exactly but Odessa wanted this part of the conversation to be done with.

***

Immediately Elise felt that guilty pit in the bottom of her stomach, it really wasn’t any of her business what Odessa or Izzy were up to, let alone up to together and the last thing she wanted was others to start getting into her own dark business but all the films she saw told her this was part of bonding, right? Finding a similarity, a connection and maybe she and Odessa would lock eyes and have that moment of recognition, that they weren’t that different in the end.  “Okay, i’m sorry for asking. I just, I don’t know, I guess I wanted context.” It did seem like the situation at the party had more to do with Odessa and Izzy than Elise herself. “I’m glad things are good now.” The jungle air seemed to still only when it seemed Elise ran out of things to say, like the universe wanted to make her awkward moments more awkward.

shane couldn’t help but let out a huff of a chuckle. while she was encouraging elise to talk about her problems, shane did not want to do the same. a bit hypocritical. but maybe it would help them both to talk about it. not to mention she trusted elise more than most of the eves. “okay, fine, we can take turns. so what’s eating you up?” she said finally, picking up a leaf from the ground and fidgeting with it in her hands. “yeah, the starving thing is kind of a given. though, it was nice to finally have meat again and i think oona was able to save most of it yesterday.”

shane was not optimistic, in fact, she was probably one of the most pessimistic of the group. shane was just really good at lying and pretending like everything was going to be okay for the sake of the group. plus, she didn’t want to trigger elise by being honest. the last the she wanted was for the other girl to go running off into the the jungle again. “i don’t, but it’s not going to help us if we’re negative and just give up. we have to keep trying.”

***

elise felt her a tightness in her chest when shane agreed to it, knowing that whatever shane had to confess would be easier to forgive that anything she herself had to. there was also a sense between them, an almost danger in elise’s mind, the tightrope game of balancing honesty and not driving shane far away from her. 

“the more i care for everyone, and i do. i’ve never had friends before, really,” not for long anyway, she thought to herself and shook her head to rid it away. “the more i need everyone to make it.” the tears were coming back again at the thought that this new group of beautiful, wonderfully weird people would meet a similar demise to the only other friends she ever had. “like, i can’t lose anyone again.” the last word slipped out and as that dawned on elise she struggled to switch things up. “i guess i started out with a heavy one, sorry. your turn, please.” 

“you’re right.” she figured they both knew that, that negativity and stagnation wasn’t going to help, it had never really helped elise before. “how do you go about, seeing things day to day rather than the big screwed up picture?” she took a moment to really look at shane, how this person could throw punches and wisdom and the fact that elise couldn’t really do either. “you’re really good shane, i don’t know if that’s weird to say but i wanted you to know it.”

With Elise seemingly open to sharing what’s going on with her, Divya paid close attention to what she had to say, nodding as the blonde revealed what weighed on her so heavily. “No no, it’s alright. You don’t need to apologise, I wanted to hear it.” She assured before reaching over and rubbing at Elise’s arm. “It’s not easy being here.” Yesterday’s morning surprise being proof of that. She chewed on her bottom lip. She didn’t know what to say to Elise. Divya barely knew how to deal with the possibility of them being on this island long-term herself so she just kept it at the back of her mind as much as possible, burying it so she could function. It wasn’t an ideal strategy but it’s worked for her thus far.

“You know, this probably isn’t what you want to hear, but there isn’t a guarantee that any of us will… make it.” She gulped. It was a difficult thing to admit. Opening that can of worms, Divya felt the fear she’s buried creep up her throat. But she was trying to be strong. Especially if it could help someone else. “I think, for the most part, it’s just got to come to down to what we do day by day, you know? To try to think about now instead of… whenever.” She shrugged a shoulder. “Every day is so different for us here. I think it wouldn’t hurt to just try and focus on the next hour. Or if that’s too hard then just the next minute I guess.”

shane sat down on the ground next to the rock elise was sitting on, letting out a sigh as she did. “i’d much rather listen to your problems than deal with my own,” she said, looking up at the blonde with a small twitch of a smile. she knew how the other eves say elise, how some of them treated her like they needed to walk on eggshells around her as to not upset her and send her running off crying. but shane could see she was strong than that, they she internalized everything all the time. they had that in common. she watched as elise went on, rambling some. shane didn’t mind. it was a distraction from everything going on in her own mind. “nah, as a very wise person told me recently, it’s not good to keep shit bottled up.” it was a joke about what jenny had told her last night, not that elise would know that, but it made her smile to herself some. “i don’t think there really is a big picture, it’s just like, we need to survive long enough until we can get off this island, ya know. it’s hard but we’ll make it through.” of course, shane had her own suspicions about the fact that rescue hasn’t come yet, but those were thoughts best kept to herself.

At Elise’s clarification, Odessa couldn’t help the upward twitch of her lips, finding the awkwardness endearing. “Right, yeah.” With a tilt of her head, she gestured to the direction she planned to walk in and led Elise away from the group. Now at a distance, with some space between them and the group and as much privacy as they were going to get without being too far away, Odessa spoke. “Thanks for… you know, walking out here with me. I would’ve done this over there but it just felt kind of impersonal with everyone around, so…” She pushed out a little breath then went into why she wanted a moment of Elise’s time. “I wanted to apologize,” she told Elise. “The details are a bit hazy since we were all a bit… you know, turnt–” A half-hearted roll of her eyes at the ironic word choice. “–last night, but uhh… I know I put you in the middle of something you shouldn’t have been in, and I just wanted to say that I’m sorry. You didn’t deserve that. I was being a bitch, and you got caught in the crossfire.” She pressed her lips together, regretful of her poor behavior in the cave.

- elise nodded understandedly when Odessa referenced the lack of privacy, it was something that was a shock to her, someone who spent most of her time on her own. too dangerous to wander out on your own, too suffocating to spend all your time in a group, it wasn't the most comfortable way to live. "right," she smiled at the mention of their lack of sobriety. "oh.." this is odd it'd be so long since she had been on the other end of an apology that it felt off and her skin was hot. elise's feet shifted a litte on the dirt below, letting out a deep breath of relief that this wasn't about her own past. "it's okay, really, thank you but you're not a bitch."

Approaching Elise only to hear quiet sobs wasn’t exactly the scenario Divya had in mind but she supposed, with Elise’s clothes in hand and a request for permission to wear them in Divya’s head, it was too late to back out now. She shuffled forward, feeling it was less treacherous to come closer since Elise had had laughed a little. “Oh, right…” Divya let out a small chuckle of her own before coming up beside Elise and sitting down beside her. “You know, I’m not an expert but I hear sleep is a reeeally good remedy for sleepiness. And PMS too actually.” Because of the added tiredness and everything. She caught a better look of Elise’s eyes then – they were red in a way that looked extremely uncomfortable. A pain tugged at Div’s heart at the sight of them. “Do you want to talk about it?” She asked, hoping that the answer was ‘yes’ because Elise looked very much like someone who needed a chat. 

-

shane had been trying to keep her head down ever since her fight with joss, the last thing she wanted was to cause more problems for the other eves. she felt like a kicked puppy with her tail between her legs, but that was better causing fights with more people. going through the jungle, shane was cutting down some spallings for her plan of trying to make a bed when she noticed elise sitting a little ways away from camp. shane paused for a second, watching her for a moment until she realized what she was doing. she was crying. looking around if anyone else was around, shane went over to the other girl, setting the sticks in her hands down on the ground before approaching “you don’t have to lie,” she said in a rare softness that only a elise and a few other eves have experienced. “what’s wrong?” a dumb question all things considered but she cared about elise, she knew about some of her problems, shane wanted to make sure she was okay.

-

as the eves started to gather in the tree line after the rude awakening, clarke was worried that everyone made it out of the water okay. sure, they may have lost a lot of their things, but she didn’t want anything bad to happen to the other eves. hearing elise’s voice, clarke was so glad that she was okay. she was worried, with her tendency to run and hide when bad things happen, that elise would be off somewhere and possibly gotten hurt. so she was glad that she was here and safe. “i’m okay, i suppose,” she offered with a smile as she set out some clothes on a branch, stretching them out to dry faster. “are you okay?” she asked, looking to elise. she nodded at the fact that shane was with jenny. it was to be expected considering how inseparable they have been the past few days. “well i’m looking for shane’s specifically. she had the inventory list i think. it’d make it easier to track everything down if we knew what we were looking for.” she put her hands on her hips and looked around at the couple wet piles of things sitting around them. “i guess we’ll just have to wait and see what all gets pulled in and hope for the best.”

hope for the best. it was a sentiment elise felt that the group couldn't escape from. hoping for survival, for food, for peace, the last one the tide refused to let them enjoy for long. "nobody seems to be hurt right?" admittedly, elise was more familiar with the mountains of california than it's beaches but the way the tide pulled their stuff away was forceful enough to have her concerned. clarke looked okay and that was a win to elise.