cherasmus the wizard

It is insane that I can easily find spells to turn people inside out or the summon the grand devourer of worlds but I can't find anything to make a tummy ache/headache go away!!!!

Group projects are so ass. Who the hell names a spell “Tentacle Orb”??? Get creative. It should be Tentacular Sphere at LEAST

Fattening myself up so an evil witch will lure me to her cabin and eat me

well yeah i have a pet hydra and it only has one head. i'm not going to cut its head off just to make it look cooler, you asshole. that's seriously unethical. and i'm not letting you cut its head off either. if you really want a hydra with multiple heads, you should go for a rescue- but if you want your pet to look cooler at the cost of its physical health, maybe you shouldn't get any kind of pet at all. no, the hydra's not for guarding my evil tower, it's my pet. have you ever heard of a pet? like a puppy or a kitty? you think i can't defend my evil tower by my self?

Who up wigglin they wand

Wizards transitioning to divination magic take Escrygen and Prognosterone

the problem with modern spell books is that every wizard and mage wants to add a story at the beginning so it seems like their spell has more depth and history behind it but in reality its mostly just the basic level 1 spell you get from the back of the cereal box

while some ponder the orb 🔮... i ponder THESE BANDS 💸💸💸💸💸

Were going to smith you the finest cock in all dwarf city, said the dwarf