Thoughts At 3 a.m.

I'm so sick of acting like I'm not completely drained and full of hate.

i get jealous because i know im replaceable

You ever feel grief for the person you could’ve been if none of this ever happened to you?

im not anyone's first choice. im not anyone's favorite. people may tell me i mean a lot to them and that im special to them but i know there's someone they'll always choose over me

all roads lead back to the loneliness i felt as a child

Suddenly I don't want anyone to know me as deeply anymore, which is weird because I have always yearned for someone to understand my soul

i don't want to heal i want them pay for what they did

we are so back (relapsing)

I think bashing my head against a wall will fix me.

i just wanna stay in bed forever. sleeping feels easier than being awake