fuck me gently with a chainsaw

we could have a disgusting thing going on if you want

fool me once shame on you. fool me twice shame on me. fool me three times this has gotta be a sex thing for at least one of us

I know there was a medieval squire boy who loved being late to work as much as I do

Oh so when you play “two truths and a lie” it’s a fun game but when I, the oracle of Delphi-

i love you female characters who make selfish choices they know will be bad for everyone. i love you female characters who think they're making the right choice but make things worse. i love you female characters who are making the right choice but noone else understands it.

You're just saying that because your a sick pervert who gets off to themes and ideas

Oh you’re a knight and you want me, a princess, in your bed? Right, right because you- yeah because you saved me from the dragon. How original. No, no it’s flattering… it’s just that the wizard told me he wants me in his massive, throbbing tower so we can ejaculate the horny-nets from the rafters together. No the spell ejaculate, not the act. Yeah the hornets hexed to make every building they inhabit horny. Those hornets. That’s why we have to use the spell. Yeah. Anyway I guess the wizard sees me as a questing partner and not a questing goal so… hmm

beautiful tall woman wearing a sports bra and overalls and fixing a motorcycle just lit a cigarette with a blowtorch i almost walked into traffic

So glad I get to experience homosexual desire. One life and thank god I'm not straight