Anonymouse

i can't vibe with anyone who thinks icarus was an ignorant idiot for flying too close to the sun. "oh i'd never do that i would have remembered my father's warning and been fine". do you seriously think that after years of imprisonment, feeling the sun on your face and the open air beneath your wings, you would be able to focus on anything but the joy of being alive and free? do you actually think that if you were given the opportunity to go where nobody has never been before, you wouldn't want to push it to the limit? to dare to be the first to try what no one else has ever even thought possible? do you honestly think you're too good for your own human nature? look me in the eyes and tell me if i strapped a pair of wings to your back that could take you wherever you wanted to go whenever you pleased that you'd be careful and sensible about it. you are not better than icarus just because you have the benefit of his example.

One time I went on a date with a girl who was in a poly relationship with a guy and for the second date she wanted me to meet her bf and during that date I really wasn't feeling it BUT he literally worked at a sword store and afterwards unlocked the shop and let me handle various high quality lotr swords and I was so overwhelmed with joy that I agreed to a third date 😅 even though I really shouldn't have. Anyway, that's my shameful nerd secret. Whenever I catch myself getting judgemental of people who'll just go on a date with someone because of the car they drive, I force myself to remember that I once went on a date with a girl and her BOYFRIEND just because I got to hold a replica if Andúril reforged from Narsil, the blade that was broken 😬

Male catboys of the world unite, you have nothing to lose but your balls

In the bathroom and cascada every time we touch just came on and the girl in the stall next to me was like oh my god this is my song and started peeing harder

was talking to my friend and I said “wow you have really long fingers” and then I realised that sounded like I was coming onto him so I added “like ET” to desexualise the moment

Imagine being a reverse Superman where you're really weak and struggle to keep up with your peers for your whole life until you learn that you're actually just from a race of aliens with comparatively shit body strength. This is the premise of Tarzan

I got a snail and my betta is being such a creeper. he’s not trying to attack it he’s just following it around staring at it lol