local arsonist (for legal intents + purposes this is a joke)

ok so byler is the ship between mike wheeler and will byers from stranger things (BYers + wheeLER). they’ve been best friends since kindergarten but then one day will went missing. mike and some other hoes go looking for him and find this bald bitch out in the woods who’s name is eleven. eleven helps them find will and then later on she and mike start dating. will feels left out now and really just wants to play dnd (relatable) but no one will fucking listen to him. will calls him out and he’s like “you’re a bad friend” and mike is like “yeah and you’re a gay bitch” and then will runs away. anyways at the end of that season will and eleven move to california (because eleven’s adopted dad fucking died) (presumably) and now mike sends letters to eleven but not will cause he’s a little asshole. then he goes to visit them for spring break and discovers his gf is getting bullied by this blonde bitch and her friends but he doesn’t give a shit really. then eleven gets arrested by the fbi (don’t ask) and mike is screaming about it but immediately just goes to talk to his little crush about something completely unrelated and is lwk just flirting with him at this point. anyways later on they’re in the back of a pizza van that they got from will’s brother’s drug dealer friend going to get eleven and will gives him this painting. he says he was commissioned by eleven to make it for him but he really made it himself for mike. anyways then they get eleven back and they move back to hawkins cause the government forces them to. then like after a few months they have to fight off the paranormal horrors again and they discover will has powers and takes out like three monsters at once with his mind and mike is like “omg hes so sexy” and then will realizes “oh shit the demon leader dude got in my mind hes gonna tell everyone im gay”. so he tries to come out to his mom but then mike walks in on them before he can and will is like “yknow what you should know this too” and then mike goes and gets THE ENTIRETY OF HAWKINS (not really but it felt like it) and will comes out to all of them. anyways then they go up to this tower to watch for monsters and have a little talk and will is like “i hope we can still be friends 🥺” and this stupid ass bitch says back “friends? no thanks. BEST FRIENDS” (direct quote btw). then later his gf fucking dies right in front of him and the gay boys never get together 😭

btw after i sent this message he responded “im not reading allat” so i sent him an audio clip of me reading it to him