*Tumbleweeds*

basketball dracula isn't real dude he can't-- *sudden squeaking noises from the shadows*

*two pool toys having sex tumble by in the wind* oh thank god

*thunderous slam dunk noise*

Didn't like it

earlier this year 2 boys got expelled from my school for going on a teachers email and sending another teacher an email that says “you’re a disgusting little man” and i laugh about it all the time because imagine opening an email from your coworker and thinking it’s important and then it says that

the position of the mischevious pig marks the hours

thinking bout 2019 and how i took her for granted

The eye doctor is the most fun doctor you can go to. They never steal your blood. They never make you get naked and put on a paper dress. They're just like, "Can you see these letters? It's fine if you can't, we can fix that." And they don't even spell anything.

Every time I go they put me in a chair and they say look into this machine there's a hot air balloon or a farmhouse in there and I do and I'm like you're right I see it and they're like yeah keep admiring that hot air balloon or farmhouse and I do and I'm like this shit's quaint as fuck and then do you know what happens next they attack me they jumpscare me with air directly into my eyeballs and i fall out the chair and they say sorryyyy but they're NOT they wanted this to happen they KNEW about the jumpscare well now I'm wise to it now I know better when I go in and they say look at this bodacious hot air balloon I'm like NO WAY DUDE that balloon wishes me harm have at thee and I attack them and push them on the ground and spit on them

Endlessly funny to me that in Economics/Finance/Fundraising we have a term, The Great Wealth Transfer, which is an accurate but wild way to say The Accelerating Boomer Die Off.

The webinar I was in when I posted this, which was about bequest giving, reminded me that August is National Make Your Will Month which does make me worried about what's going to happen in September.

do not come to my notifs with ur fuck ass harry potter username

do nuns have pockets

5 minutes of research on what American troops did in Vietnam will make you understand why people called them baby killers

nip over to troy, bit of rough and tumble, big horse, bish bash bosh, back home to ithaca. simple as