｡⋆｡ ﾟ☾ ﾟ｡⋆ magic child ⋆⭒˚.⋆🪐 ⋆⭒˚

There are a lot of reasons to oppose monarchy but one of the most overlooked is that the king is always getting stuck in some kind of hazardous puzzle chamber filling up with gravel or lava or something. Do your fucking job man

i eat your grandads clothes

Macklemoth

dr. macklemore (podiatrist): i fix your granddads toes

One of my FAVOURITE ship dynamics to write or read in fics is when two characters are basically already a couple but they just haven't realised it yet. They call each other up at like 3am, they cuddle, they sleep in the same bed, they fall asleep in each other's arms, they hold hands, they practically live together, they talk about having a ~ special connection ~, they just haven't actually kissed or done the do or talked about their feelings yet so they're still both like "but I just don't know if they like me in that way!!"

Less slow burn and more two idiots standing around literally on fire from page one but not noticing until page two hundred.

(one beer in) im not saying id suck this old man off im just saying if his hips were in the general vicinity of my parted lips then whatever happens happens

I absolutely adore dogs but I think dog haters are (usually) more justified than cat haters wrt their reasoning

therapist: how are you? me: fine how are you

"july the 4th be with you" - american yoda