The Dragon Adrammalech

A wonderful blog post by @charismatickinslayer regarding the usage of epithets and when to not use them (and when to totally use them). 

So me a favor, okay? Hold your breath for a sec. No big dramatic huge breath needed, though you can do that too, I won’t spoil for your fun. But just hold it. For. Six. Seconds.

You felt that right? Yes we can forget to breathe if we’re super concentrating on something (it’s weird but it often happens if you’re like hyper-focused) but it’s not so much that we forget to breathe it’s that our body is doing it without us realizing because we’re focused on more important things. But you felt that right? Your body is chill with you holding your breath for a full second. Maybe a full three seconds. But then it’s like HOLY SHIT WE NEED THAT TO LIVE FUCKING STOP. And that’s the thing right there. That’s the thing. Air is something you need for survival, it’s not like something you might do in shock like rock or tears might start falling and you’re too numb to realize it or gripping someone’s hand. Because it’s okay for your brain to not pay attention to that because it isn’t interrupting the one thing you need TO FUCKING LIVE. Your brain can’t ignore that shit, it specifically exists to keep you alive, it’s just not going to let you hold you breath for more than a few seconds because YOU’LL FUCKING DIE

I forget to breath sometimes. (It’s not fun. My body has serious issues.) I take the longest breaths of anyone I have every met. Two different friends of mine tried to match my breathing for fun and concluded that it would probably make them pass out. (I do come really close to passing out a lot. I also black out on kids roller-coasters, can’t concentrate for long periods of time while sitting down unless I have my propped legs up, and my heart likes to palpitate randomly.) 

However, it is something that happens. For example, I do it and do not have the problems mentioned above where I forget to breathe. It happens extremely rarely and in situations of great anticipation and does not happen with everyone. It is rather a quirk of sorts, perhaps. Also your brain may be aware that you are holding your breath but in a situation of great anticipation you are unlikely to be consciously aware that you are doing. As opposed to sitting there and holding your breath for six seconds. You are not consciously aware that you are constantly breathing, either. It is a thing that can happen and does. Perhaps not with everyone, but not everyone can raise their eyebrow either, but it appears often in written work. It conveys something simply, as does "she let out a breath she didn’t know she was holding”. It shows anticipation and for people who have only just began writing, it is grand. Of course there are other ways to portray anticipation but again, for new writers clichés are important. They may be irritating but they are a good foundation for new writers to branch off from and make mistakes and learn. 

So you want to make a poly verse!

I have seen a huge upsurge of polyships on tumblr lately and it makes me really happy as living, breathing, polyamorus person. Everyone likes positive representation, even if its just people writing it on tumblr.

But lets take a step back and examine what polyamory means, and what you can do to make your polyverse better and more realistic.

What is polyamory?

A lot of people don’t know what it is, or they have a misguided idea of what these types of relationships look like based on the media and culture. On the most basic of levels, polyamory is simply a relationship consisting of more than one person where everyone is 100% in the know. This is not an excuse to cheat on partners. It is 100% consensual from everyone involved.

Polyamory consists of various different styles. There is the one that most of you are likely interested in - the one where everyone loves each other, has sex with each other, etc etc. But this is not the only form. There are poly relationships where not all members engage in sex but still love everyone, and there are even forms where two people are dating the same person, but they are not dating each other, but are 100% aware of the other person and consent to their relationship. 

Jealousy does exist in these relationships. But knowing how to step away from it, to remember that you are loved and cherished just as much as another is really important. Having trust in your partners enough to not let those emotions rule you. I have had poly relationships fail because people couldn’t set aside their jealousy. But its also important for one to step back and make sure that they aren’t acting in a way that is eliciting those negative emotions. Like… have you been devoting a significant amount of time with person y while person x could use a little more attention? Now, another important note is: expectations for relationships like this are dangerous. Remembering that no one owes you anything is important, and therefore you are not entitled to attention or affection. Similarly to RP, people get in moods where they want a specific type of attention, and perhaps you are not the one in the relationship that offers that. Remember that they still love you and your time will come as long as you aren’t an ass about it.

Communication is KEY. Remember to talk to your RP partners AND their muses about desires and thoughts. Muse having a bad time because x is happening? Maybe they’re jealous. If your muse doesn’t communicate those emotions, things could get worse. Just like in any regular relationship, communication is important, but its especially important when more people get involved. Speaking up when you’re uncomfortable instead of going with the flow is super super critical to a successful poly relationship.

Poly relationships aren’t just one big giant orgy all the time. Usually, its just a large cuddle pile while watching scary movies or arguing about who used the last of the coffee creamer - or goddamn it you two get out of the shower, I have to pee. Its sharing your life with more than one person. It’s knowing that one person cannot be your everything, and expecting that of someone isn’t fair. It’s knowing that you have so much love to give and knowing you’re going to get just as much back. It’s the idea that we all have more than one “soulmate” and sometimes you meet them all at once.