Herawiese

as a kid i thought i would graduate from kid problems like cleaning my room to adult problems like jobs and taxes. but instead i have a job and taxes and still have to clean my room. cleaning my room is a lifetime problem. i will never stop having to put my markers away before bedtime. this is a rude way for aging to work.

was anyone going to tell me that the pope's dressmaker posts dick and cock on instagram or was i supposed to find out for myself

waittttt there's more. apparently he was outed as a homosexual by a competitor but the pope was like well the gowns are sickening so what am i gonna do about it? and so he's still the pope's dressmaker even though he said vatican priests tried to fuck him all the time when he was closeted. work

people vaguely saying 'the horrors' as shorthand for 'life problems, don't worry about it' in conversations where the problems are not going to be delved into has got to be one of my favorite new Ways Of Speaking that has emerged. like it's polite and vague and succinct enough for impersonal conversation but also extremely honest. it's very funny. The Horrors. we all know of them.

I hate when people say ohhhh your pets only love you because you feed them. as if that wasn't the first form of love any of us felt. get real.

So true. Food is literally what we use to tell animals we won't hurt them. We give them food and then don't do anything to them and the animal learns you're a cool dude, and becomes open to bonding. When you bond, you Know your pet loves you. It's the primary way we get feral kittens to start trusting humans. It's no different really with people and how we come together, we bond over meals all the fucking time.

Also like. There is no higher praise than knowing an animal feels safe enough to come to you with their basic needs. That's why I like when it's cold and my cat comes to sit on my chest. She could go directly to the heater and often does when I'm at work, but does the heater cuddle back? Does it thumb rub her ears and talk to her in a voice she recognizes as contented and pleased?