from like 9 to 12 i would try to fall asleep by ‘making’ a new seinfeld episode in my head. i would open with a jerry seinfeld standup bit that was almost nonsense (its not like i can write standup like he can at 10 years old) and then it would be jerry and george arguing about a girlfriend i made up with some kind of pointless issue (”she wears bigger pants than me, jerry! everyones gonna know, who wears the pants!”) and then kramer would walk in. by that time id be almost out

I should also say i was ‘typing’ out the dialogue with my hands as if they were on a keyboard, but my hands were across my chest like a vampire

I would take a job pushing the Sisyphus rock if it paid 20 an hour and I could wear my headphones

howdy cowboy

one thing about me is i’m gonna go lay down

you're cute as a button dude. a button