a whiney poetry blog

words you cant take back

like a knife against my throat

i question,

was there something to me that you didnt want to know?

i have reopened scars and memories for you

so when will you bear your soul, as i’ve beared mine?

for this feels familiar, but not like last time

our future cant already be a past

withered and torn

oh i remember

“Show me your scars,

and i’ll show you mine”

but i can’t imagine all of the time

It’ll take for you to see them.

From my glory days,

to my downfalls

These scars haven’t healed,

despite the time that’s passed

But I won’t stitch them closed

It’s a deal that i have chose

So will you still love me?

Despite open wounds?

I just need you to believe who i can be

it’s something i need to know

my past has been showing,

the part where we both let go

i think it’s something in the water,

or something in our blood

that pulled us apart together

for our separation to bud

you live within me still

that i cannot deny,

but through heaven and hell

i have seen where your fate lies

“Non-fiction”

Twenty-one

And i’m having fun,

Bending over a toilet seat

“Things get better”,

is what they say

But it’s not like it matters

anyways

Lessons learned will become

null

Nobody listens,

Their lives are at toll

So hear me now

As i shove down,

Fingers down my throat

I promise i’ll get better

I guess i’m just a little under

as i twiddle your thumb

i make sure

to not make myself numb

from your love...

as i make myself heard

oh can you be

more than you were

than before...

because i know i believe

that these things

will relieve

us from our past...

my love,

my darling,

staying awake at night

with visions of you

running through my brain

has become but a dying art

my dear,

you had your time where

you were in every breath

but these breaths are getting shallower

You know recovery seemed a lot easier when i was getting pulled by my strings,

being told to do everything that i needed so i can succeed in this.

But this was baby’s first time, and like baby’s first purge i’m hopeful as can be

as im like a captain ready to sail the windiest sea upon my short life.

I look to people before me who have done this and

I wonder to myself if there had been something i’d missed because i’m now facing 10 to life with this

and god i’m bleeding on my knees in front of this toilet seat to please heal me. Please save me from myself.