sending your friends terrible tumblr posts is a love language
he wasn't even looking at me and he found me
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@certified-bi
sending your friends terrible tumblr posts is a love language

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Ship hate where you don't actually have beef with anyone in fandom who likes it and are primarily just annoyed with what canon is doing in the actual narrative.
Like I agree these two characters could hypothetically be great together. Not like that though.
No I think it's really great when a friend group of approximately twenty seven individuals spread out in the sidewalk as they walk so nobody has to walk behind the group. There's nothing better than when I'm trying to get home and I see the tableau of Jesus at the Last Supper gliding towards me like Jamiroquai in the Virtual Insanity music video and I have to decide who has the narrowest frame that I can shoulder-check my way past
So many little ways that hatred of some underclass â immigrants, the homeless, the young â requires making things worse for everyone so those in the under class don't get anything nice either. Whole smorgasbord of shooting yourself in the foot out of spite
have to keep ourselves poorer just to keep brown people out. can't have public bathrooms because the homeless might use them. have to play high-pitched noise to keep teens away. we are letting the cruelest people among us make our lives worse so they can be hateful
i think the most upsetting thing about american-flavor puritanism is how fucking patronizing it is. it's 2026 but the whole world still has to deal with a cultural hegemony grown from the gnarled vestiges of victorian-era paternalism. tax-paying adults with passports and the right to vote are treated like wayward children because of the antiquated idea that authorities must protect the weak minds of the unwashed masses from depravity and corruption. the average american can send a fellow citizen to the chair, but they can't piss in a ditch without being declared an outlaw. american entertainment media is saturated with sex, but you can't talk about it online without getting your account suspended. it's such blatant censorship at a universal scale, but because sexual content is framed as inherently dangerous, this restriction on basic adult autonomy, this blanket denial of moral and intellectual adulthood, can be reframed as protection, an expression of care, a moral duty. "won't someone think of the children!" I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN! I AM A GROWN MAN!
thank god that the video game that features slow motion animations of graphic gunshot wounds and is rated 18+ has a profanity filter in single player offline mode. thank you for protecting this 33 year old mind from the corrupting influence that is a horse named apple slut

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No Iâm not attracted to you. Quit your evil putting your finger under my chin to make me look up at you. I know Iâm your nemesis and all but we really need to set some boundaries when youâve got me tied up like this.
No look I get it. Youâve got your evil plan, youâve gotta get me out of the way but you also want to see me suffer as I watch the world burn, I know. But like, Iâm not into this. Sexually or otherwise. Wait, you thought I was doing this because I liked you? Iâm trying to stop you from using a death laser. No I donât think death lasers are sexy what on earth are you talking about
Wait. Thatâs why you dress like that? I thought that armor was impractical. No I donât find our relationship to be homoerotic I find it to be tedious. Look, man. We all keep trying to get you into therapy. No Iâm not kink shaming you Iâm saying youâve completely misinterpreted this relationship. I actually do think you should answer for your war crimes. Yes, really. No youâre the one not listening to me in this situation. Yes that is the alarm the others will have cut all your wires and called in the fbi by now.
What do you mean you thought we had something special? I have other enemies. Youâre not the only one. No Iâm not doing kinky things with them either I blow up their nefarious devices. Speaking of which, you might want to move like⌠ten feet to your right.
No, enemies to enemies. And then still enemies.
Cannot stress enough how lovers will never be part of this equation even a little bit
The henchmen in the tags who have been assuring the villain since the beginning that âof course he likes you back, why else would he keep coming to destroy your death lasersâ
The henchmen have been reading too many romance novels.
Awfully defensive are we? I think the henchmen are onto something.
You know I didnât intend for this character I made up to be aromantic but this whole post has turned into being arospec at a family reunion simulator
Enemies to Queerplatonic
I Defeated the Demon Lord but it Turns Out the Demon Army was Largely Unaffected and I Fell Victim to a Flawed Belief in Great Man Theory
i don't know what older adults were on about when they said being a teenager was good <3
i get why people don't believe in marriage as a social construct but legally it is the best and easiest way to say "this is who i trust to take care of me when i can't take care of myself" and i'm so glad gay people fought for that right bc when shit gets scary at least i know im in good hands
Reblog this picture of me holding a Family Size box of Honey Nut Cheerios? Iâd really appreciate it.
How can I say no to such a great photo and such a polite request?

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âWhy donât you use aiâ idk man beyond the obvious environmental and âthis machine causes psychosis and encourages people to kill themselvesâ thing I think asking the equivalent of a solid D student who is also a pathological liar if they can answer my question/do the work for me seems pretty fucking stupid
i think one of the worst things the left wing internet ever did was push the idea that oppression is basically a virtue, and being oppressed is a sign of your morality. it has made it likeâŚimpossible for some of you to hold the idea that most people are privileged in some ways and oppressed in others. AND a lot of you seem to have it in your mind that terrible people cannot be oppressed, and that oppressed people cannot do terrible things, which is a dangerous rhetoric to hold imo.
time loop with two people in it but one person refuses to acknowledge the loop and pretends to be looping with everyone else. meanwhile the other person is freaking out
i love that 17th century jewish poltergeist story where the family living in the haunted house calls a catholic priest for help before they contact a rabbi, because yeah, i think that would be my call too; id be like, oh? a demon in my house speaking latin and drawing inverted crosses on my wall in sulfuric bile? then without even questioning my faith iâd call up the catholic church and be like yo father, one of your boys loose come get him
âLook here pal, I know my religion, and this ainât it. Whatever this guy is, theyâre clearly from your version of things. Mind coming over to help fix things up?â
#not my covenant not my malefactor
(Tags via @cicadianrhythm )
I maintain that the best summation of my feminist beliefs are that men and women are not fundamentally different. There are a few quantifiable differences if you average out every woman and every man, but they are not qualitative. And most of them are socially constructed, and would be fixed if we started treating men and women the same. Neither is inherently smarter, neither is inherently kinder, neither is inherently more stoic or stronger or angrier or softer. Everyone is obsessed with the differences between women and men, with finding them and creating them and distancing themselves from the "other half". It's fucked up

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sometimes people experiencing psychosis and/or mania will come up to you on the street and talk in confusing or upsetting ways. your job is to either have a regular human-to-human conversation with that person or politely leave. your job is not to call 911. do not call 911. you might kill that person if you call 911.
I don't even have the energy to screenshot and respond to your tags- what the actual fuck is wrong with you? "the cops are scared and rightfully so" "mental health calls are the scariest for cops" OH so this isn't about the safety of psychotic & manic people this is about piggy feelings?
and no, actually, this is not USA specific and no, actually, people from other countries should not ignore this post. police violence and sanism weren't invented in the US and they are certainly not unique to here. if you (or anyone) thinks that this bullshit doesn't happen elsewhere then you are not listening.
cops r Some Guy with a Gun
do we want Some Guy with a Gun in this situation? answer is usually "NO"
This is legitimately useful reframing. A while ago I started replacing the word "cop" in my vocabulary with "a man with a gun." It really puts things into perspective.
This homeless person is making me uncomfortable. Should I call [a man with a gun]?
My neighbor is having a loud party. Should I get [a man with a gun] involved?
There are some teenagers skateboarding. Do you think [a man with a gun] would get rid of them for me?
It makes it very clear what you're saying. I can call a man with a gun to threaten or hurt someone mildly inconveniencing me. You're not calling the cops, you're calling A MAN WITH A GUN into a situation that does not warrant a firearm handled by a volatile lunatic who will not be held accountable for his actions.
^ ^ ^
Whenever people ask me "why don't you know xyz, it's so popular" well see it's because
I literally live in south east asia
Most countries cut the map like that because it's the easiest and most logical place to have a big vertical split! Everyone else agrees that the awkward and self centred way that Americans cut the map so that they sit in the middle is obnoxious as hell.
#Does US have a different map???? via @eldritch-bisexual
Why yes. Yes we do:
^Those are generally what hangs on the wall in US classrooms.
Ive never seen that map cut hung anywhere in any of the 5 US state/location I've gone to school in? Where does this person live that that's the standard map? Like that's very much not actually a universal American thing cause I've only ever seen the same map cut as op.
I've seen both tbh. The America centered one was way more prevalent when I was younger but that might be my college professors and high school teachers realizing it's weird to center America and not a change over time.