Procrastinating my homework rn

[On phone] Whaddya mean I can't say it. Why the fuck not. [silence] Well how many guys do I need to fuck before I can say it

actually the world needs more trans women to become full of themselves and act like hot shit all the time

Honestly situations where you want to fuck so bad but can’t yet are so fucking hot. When you’re making out and dry humping each other and you know you can’t go further, but their hand is down your pants and you never needed something so bad in your life. And their tongue is in your mouth and you’re so turned on it feels like it would take no time at all to get you off. I love being so deliriously horny that you would do anything to get to fuck them. I love being needy and desperate and down bad.

i think if i asked peter thiel for 500 million dollars, and told him that my business plan was to spend 499 million of that on oil futures, and the remaining 1 million ordering the entire stock of pizza, burgers, fries, shakes, jamba juices, schitzels, fucking wetzels pretzels, the whole lot, within 50 miles of the pentagon, just to see if i could blow up the pentagon pizza index enough to move global oil markets 0.2% and recoup my losses... i think that if i asked him that, in those exact words, he would give me 1 billion dollars just to see if i could do it twice. and i would try. god forgive me i would try.

if you are a trans woman you have to sing to yourself. if you voice train that’s fine. if you don’t voice train that’s okay. but you have to sing to yourself

may every trans woman have a safe place to hear herself sing.

THIS IS PEAK :D

knowing how it tends to go with male authors and their wives it was probably marge who wrote the odyssey

Why do we need astronauts to view the Moon when we have robotic observers? It's sick as fuck. Come on man. It's awesome. Seething, aren't you? Seething that you're down on Earth looking up at the moon while our astronauts are eyeballing it from our sick rocket ship. Well guess what little man: seethe harder. We're going to spend more of your tax dollars toward sending our guys around the moon and it's going to be awesome every time. There's nothing you can do about it. Fuck you.