vent blog. dissociative. physically ill.
themes: paranoia, eyes, traumacore. view at own discretion.
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@cerberus-screams
vent blog. dissociative. physically ill.
themes: paranoia, eyes, traumacore. view at own discretion.

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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"you're sick, you're sick, you're sick."
dark rooms and black masks,
tiny chains and hearts to match.
who am i and who are you?
telling me all you've done and have left to do.
confusing flashes of repressed memories,
yet im still expected to grant clemency.
you haunt my head and heart and still,
you teach me how to bite and kill.
"im sick, im sick, im sick."
discovering new things about your abuse is not for the weak. new nightmares and memories r horrid
fucking embarrassing god i HATE beta programming im killing myself TONIGHT

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
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I guess...
yet again i will say having such intense callback programming without anything to go back to feels sooo pathetic and awful like fuck. FUCK.
i started this account when more intense memories and feelings were coming up and i didn't even want to call myself a programming survivor, or even ramcoa survivor. well fuck me i guess that's all out the window huh. ive made some progress with identifying and mapping that part of the system but occasionally everything falls apart. "you have to get worse before you get better" is really hitting recently
fuck fuck fuck, i feel like I'm regressing progress, or maybe this is on purpose, I don't know, i don't have to use that name anymore, I don't have to do these things, but yes I fucking do
arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion! arousal! repulsion!

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming
Were there more? I'm not sure. I can't be. They're only flashes of memories in an otherwise dark room. Is it true? Is it fake? There's no proof. There's never proof.
there's something so surreal about seeing an old picture of myself during times I don't remember and just. Seeing the sadness and defeat in my eyes. like Wow, this pic of me in 6th grade is crazy
Another blind child has been blessed by Seraph Pox! Oh, watchful angel. Grant him sight! Through boils and blisters are new eyes born, retinas that see beyond our fragile world. Praise be to you, many-eyed shepherd!
The Watcher
Illustrated by Kurt Huggins

Anya is live and ready to show you everything. Watch her strip, dance, and perform exclusive shows just for you. Interact in real-time and make your fantasies come true.
Free to watch β’ No registration required β’ HD streaming