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@celtic-clay
Be invited to created a set of advertising illustrations for LANCOME.

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As a note I don’t really use tumblr anymore. For reasons. Goodbye.
chicken classes
Fighter: rhode island red
Barbarian: dark cornish
Paladin: faverolles
Ranger: leghorn
Theif: modern gamefowl
Bard: polish
Wizard: sultan
Sorcerer: sebright
Warlock: sicilian buttercup
Cleric: naked neck
Monk: shamo
@gallusrostromegalus
These are execllent but a small point of contention- I’d pick Orpingtons to be Clerics becuase they really look like something that could be both gentle healers and smote someone.
@celtic-clay
Super late gift sketches for @celtic-clay!!!
So sorry for the wait and thank you for the patience my dude \;v;/ I can always count on you for the nostalgia trips and pretty sure we’re due a discussion on what the heck happened in digi tri lol
The 15 PLOT POINTS of Story Structure
To all the writers who have ever been told they need to outline their story, and privately thought “Great. But how do you DO that? What exactly does that mean?! Is there a map? WHAT IS THE SPECIFIC DEFINITION OF THE VAGUE WORD ‘OUTLINE’?”
Good news. Stories have structure. Structure that can be learned. And a fantastic place to start learning structure?
Save the Cat: The Last Book on Screenwriting You’ll Ever Need by Blake Snyder. This book gives a simple outline that most stories follow. And as an introduction to story structure, it can’t be beat.
In Save the Cat, 15 plot points are spelled out in something called a beat sheet. During the outlining process, these “beats” or plot points can be used as an armature or skeleton that your story is built upon.
So what are those 15 plot points?
Opening Image: A snapshot of the hero’s problematic ordinary world, right before the story starts and changes everything.
Set-Up: Further establishing that ordinary world and what the hero does every day, impressing upon the audience or reader what’s wrong, and the idea that something needs to change.
Theme Stated: The truth that the hero will learn by experiencing the story, the statement that will be proven to the audience. But upon first encountering this truth, in this story beat right in the beginning, the hero doesn’t understand or outright refuses to believe it. The theme stated is asking a question, a question which the story will answer.
Catalyst: The ordinary world is shattered. Something unexpected happens, and this event triggers all the conflict and change of the whole story. Life will never be the same after this moment. This is the Call to Adventure.
Debate: But for a moment, the hero won’t be quite sure about answering that call. Leaving behind the ordinary world is difficult – even if the catalyst has come along and disrupted everything – because the ordinary means safety, it means not being challenged, it means avoiding conflict and heartache. Yes, that existence they’re stuck in might be stagnant and unpleasant, but it protects them from facing the intimidating task of growth, of becoming something better.
Break Into 2: And this is when the hero decides to answer the call and cross the threshold of act two, determined to pursue their goal.
B Story: This is when the relationship – which usually carries and proves the theme – starts in earnest.
Fun & Games: This is just what it says: the premise promised a certain type of pure entertainment, and this beat is where we get to experience it fully.
Midpoint: This is either a false victory or a false defeat. Something really really good happens. Or something the exact opposite.
Bad Guys Close In: Forces of opposition and conflict begin to converge on the hero and his goal. Everything begins to fall apart for the hero, the defeats piling up one after another, the main character punching back.
All Is Lost: This is the sequence where absolutely everything falls apart for the hero. The plans fail, the goal is lost, the mentor dies, the villain wins. All is, quite literally, lost.
Dark Night of the Soul: The hero’s bleakest moment is right here. In addition to all of the tangible things that have been lost, hope and the gumption to continue with the story have also vanished. There is usually a hint of death here, of some kind. An actual death, or an emotional or spiritual death.
Break into 3: Ah, but there’s a light at the end of the tunnel. Inspiration occurs, hope is rekindled, courage to pursue the story returns. Usually, this is the moment where the main character learns what they NEED, the truth which will heal them, and allow them to fix their own lives. With this, they are able to snatch victory from defeat.
Finale: And in here, the story goal is pursued once more, but this time from the stronger version of the hero – the version that has learned the theme, and committed to act accordingly.
Closing Image: The opposite of the opening image. This is a snapshot of life after the story, the problems of the ordinary world solved or banished, a new world opening up for the hero. If the opening is the equivalent of “once upon a time” this is saying “And every day after … “
So let’s see how that works! And to see it, let’s look at my favorite short film of all time – Paperman (because this gave me an excuse to watch it several times and listen to the music while writing it.)
1) Opening Image
We see George, a twenty-something in a sixty-something’s suit and tie, obviously on his way to work, and not looking at all enthused about it. He stares straight ahead, expression bored, lifeless, right on the edge of depressed. Wind from a passing train pushes him slightly, and he lets it, demeanor unchanging.
2) Set-Up
But then a sheet of paper, caught on the wind, hits his shoulder. The paper flies off again, and a young woman appears onscreen, chasing after the paper, as the surprised George watches.
After catching it offscreen, the girl returns, tucking the paper into the stack she carries, smiling slightly. They both face forward, waiting for the train side-by-side, in silence. She’s glancing sideways at him, he’s smiling and fidgeting nervously, but still resolutely facing forward; they’re both aware of each other, seemingly hoping the other will be braver, but neither able to overcome their shyness and the unspoken rules of everyday life.
3) Theme Stated
As a train charges into the station, a paper from George’s stack is snatched by the wind and lands flat on the woman’s face. When he pulls the paper away, she laughs: her lipstick left a perfect kiss mark on the sheet. When George spots it, he laughs too …
but when he opens his eyes, she’s gone. She’s boarded a different train. The kiss-mark paper flaps in the wind as the train begins to move, taking her away. He watches, crestfallen. She glances back. Looks of regret and disappointment are exchanged, both a little wistful. The paper, the symbol of their fleeting memorable meeting, waves goodbye.
Through this little sequence of images, the question of the whole story is asked: Was there a connection between them? Will they find each other again? And on a wider level: What does it take to find love?
Further Set-Up:
And cut to George behind a desk, in a gray office, dark file cabinets towering behind him, clocks on the wall ticking away his life. Miserable again, he stares at the lipsticked paper. A stack of documents slams onto the desk from on high. The grim-faced boss of the office scowls down at him. George frowns at the stack, then at his boss, who stomps away.
4) Catalyst
Breeze pulls the kissed paper off his desk and out the open window. He catches it just in time, breathing a sigh of relief. And then he sees something. The girl! She’s there! She’s right across the street!
5) Debate
He needs to get her attention! He dithers for a moment, then throws the window wide and enthusiastically waves his arms.
An ominous “ahem” from the boss brings him back inside, and back to his desk. But his attention is still on the girl, and the need to get her attention. He folds a paper airplane, stands before the window, poises the airplane to fly … but he glances at his boss’s office before he throws it. Should he?
6) Break Into Act 2
Yes. Yes, he should. He sends the little airplane messenger to bridge the distance between himself and the girl.
7) B Story
What he should have done while waiting for the train, he’s committed to do now. Talk to her. The relationship of the story has started officially.
8) Fun & Games
In this moment, he becomes the “paper man” of the title. He folds and throws paper airplane after paper airplane. The boss shows up, shoves him back and slams his window. George pauses until he’s gone, then just keeps sending airplanes. They sail over the street, but are intercepted or miss their mark every time.
9) Midpoint
He reaches for more paper … and knocks an empty tray off the desk. He’s run out. Except for one paper, the kissed one, the only one he’s held onto. With a determined look, he folds it precisely into an airplane, stands before the window, breathes to steady himself …
And the wind steals the airplane from his hand, sending it spiraling to the street below, George reaching out pointlessly. On top of this defeat, the girl leaves the office.
10) Bad Guys Close In
Immediately, the boss emerges from his lair. The other office workers hurriedly return to their scribbling, hunched to avoid drawing attention. The girl is leaving the building across the street! George turns from the window … and finds the boss looming above him, glowering, delivering another tall pile of meaningless work.
George sinks into his chair, defeated. But something happens as he watches his boss walk away, as he sees the office workers in neat rows; all of them older versions of George, reflections of what he will become … if he doesn’t do something right now.
He runs, sending paper from the perfect stacks flying in his wake.
11) All Is Lost
But when he escapes the building, and attempts to cross the street, cars nearly kill him. And when he finally makes it to the opposite sidewalk, the girl is nowhere in sight. She’s lost again.
And all he manages to find is the little traitorous paper airplane. The paper he’d believed might mean something, might have signified something important and maybe a little magical. Which it obviously never did.
12) Dark Night of the Soul
Angry, he grabs the plane and throws it with all his strength. He’s lost his job, he’s lost the girl, he’s lost all faith in the magic he’d just started to believe might be real. He stomps towards the train station, returning home.
13) Break Into 3
But fate has other plans. The airplane glides over the city, almost supernaturally graceful and purposeful. It dives between buildings, and lands in the middle of the alley where all the paper planes have collected.
It sits immobile. Then it moves. Moves again. And jumps into flight. The airplane flies over the rest, stirring them into motion, into the air. In a place where not even a breath of wind could reach, there is now a whirlwind of George’s airplanes.
Though the forces of mediocrity tried to keep them apart, something greater has recognized George’s efforts and is going to see things through.
14) Finale
A parade of airplanes follows George down the street.
The leader attaches to his leg. He brushes it off, mad. A flurry of them attach to him, then carry him down the street, unfazed by his fighting.
The leader airplane rockets over the city purposefully, finds the girl, then lures her to follow.
She chases after.
Somewhere else in the city, George is being pushed wherever the paper airplanes want him to go. We switch back and forth between George and the girl, as the airplanes push him and beckon her.
Until they’re both on different trains, which stop simultaneously, on opposite sides of the platform. The girl gets out. She fiddles with the airplane, like she’s trying to get it to work again. And just then, a breeze brings hundreds of paper planes skittering all around the platform.
She looks up …
15) Closing Image
And there’s George, covered in paper planes.
He lurches towards Meg, and the airplanes falls away, their work done.
George and Meg face each other, smiling, the barriers of routine and shyness overcome. Exactly what should have happened, exactly what was meant to happen. Putting effort into connection and love prevailed in the end, defeating the allure of life spent in safety and mediocrity. The closing image is the opposite of the opening: he’s not alone, he’s not facing the train leading to his mundane job, he’s not looking miserable and hopeless. He’s facing the girl, his bright and meaningful new future. ***
So! Those are the 15 plot points. This is a fantastic way to begin learning what story structure is, why it works the way it does, and how to precisely pull it off.
For a more in-depth explanation, I highly recommend picking up a copy of Save the Cat. (It holds a special place in my heart; it was the first screenwriting book I ever read, and started obsessive study of storytelling.)

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Oh, my youth…
Temple of Horus, Egypt
its horus he’s here
Guys no, it gets so much better.
A small fat bird, like the above, is the hieroglyph used in Ancient Egyptian to mean “wicked” or evil”.
The phrase above him (the inscription should be read from the top down) is “Nb s3″ or “Lord of the son of”. Genitive is usually implied in this sort of phrase without a connecting word, meaning:
This birb has literally created the sentence and declared himself “ Lord of the Son of Evil”
God dammit, I realised I made a mistake doing this from memory- the first sign is “k” for “your”, not “nb” for “lord”. So this birb has declared himself “your evil son”, not “the lord of the son of evil”. Which is not quite as dramatic, but still very menacing. You go bird.
Reblogging this version because I was going “no that’s a cup sign, there’s a handle”.
Sparrow knows what it’s doing I swear, look at its face.
I love my evil son
did you know red snapper can live for over 100 years…. whatre they DOING down there
id wreak mayhem for a really good scifi where sight was considered as exotic and numinous as telepathy by the protag species
#everybody else uses sonar or long whiskers and that thing with the sensing electrical impulses#meanwhile: humans can ‘see’ which is a thing which is like and yet unlike ordinary perception#it would also only ever come into play in the same frivolous ‘VULCAN STRENGTH’ sort of way as Spock’s extra attributes#for maximum effect vision would be faithfully written as 100% an asspull in the best way
what the fuck dude this is awesome i want this too now
Okay, but what about those deep sea fish that produce light at a wavelength that *only they can see.* Predators that can somehow sense you in a completely undectable and unfathomable manner to you; they might as well be psychic.
YES, EXACTLY–vision is SUCH an asspull?? Sometimes it’s “"dark”“ and we can’t see anything. And also we’re impaired for plot reasons! Sometimes ALIEN WEAPONRY or otherwise-innocuous ship components are ”“too bright”“ and we yell and try to hide, subject to some sort of obscure, tortuous imperative. The rest of the time we can UNERRINGLY tell when anyone is trying to play pranks on us, the names and emotional/physical status of EVERY SINGLE BEING IN THE ROOM (or, when outside civilized warrens, ”“line of sight”“)–and yes, of course, can’t forget about our nigh-mythical fighting arts revolving around insane dodging skills.
And SNIPING. And also, god, fuck–don’t forget about completely arbitrary “”””atmospheric disturbances””” (fog, smoke–the new “ionic interference”) ALSO plottasatically rendering our abilities moot.
Plus, some people have more powerful Vision than others, but some people have a very short effective range of Vision. However, humans have come up with devices that “change the angles of refraction” of the “light” so that the naturally impaired have their skills enhanced–but they can always be knocked off their faces or be broken.
Also some people are terrible at normal Vision work, but have excellent night vision and are skilled at working under adverse conditions.
Oooh, and human art is almost entirely Vision based. Think about non-seeing aliens trying to access the majority of human art!
IM!!! SCREAMING!!! GLASSES. Glasses are SUCH another great Weird Alien Gimmick. God–you get all used to your Human friend and their bizarre abilities, you just start to really trust in and rely on them in tight places and problem-solving a little bit, then you get fucken marooned on a fucken planetoid somewhere and they just in this very small little voice, after you have pulled them from the wreckage and sat down to go over your options, inform you that they’ve lost their glasses.
Oh my god and an episode where we’re up against Evil Humans and our heros turn to their humans like ‘you can see them, right, you can tell when they’re near? you can counter them?’ and our hero is genuinely shaken and worried— they’ve got high-tech military mechanical enhancers, the devices strapped to their heads let them see anywhere, they can operate in near-absolute ‘darkness’, they can operate in near-lethal ‘brightness’, they can see through walls— not doors, not glass, but walls.
Then we have a heroic scene where the crew’s human is the scrappy, desperate underdog for once instead of the cool and collected superbeing. It is super cool. The human and the captain probably mack wildly on one another in medbay after this. Roll credits.
Person 1: I dunno, dude. This ‘light’ stuff sounds like a bunch of mumbo jumbo to me. I mean, how do we know it’s even real?
Person 2: Seriously, how can something be a wave and a particle? That doesn’t even make sense.
Mysterious Human: Even if you cannot perceive the light, you can feel its warmth–
Person 1: Oh my god, please shut it with the mystical hoo-hah. You’re insufferable.
Mysterious, somewhat exasperated Human: the ‘light’ enters the sensitive paired apertures in our faces, passing through biological lenses and chambers to stimulate specific nerves we call ‘rods’ and ‘cones’. one set of nerves tells us the volume of light we’re perceiving, while the other estimates the wavelength frequency. the total input creates in our mind a continuous sonarscape of immense complexity, where we can perceive ‘textures’ that are impossible to understand with mere sound or touch. this is why my people’s communication devices are small, flat, silent boards: we ‘read’ the patterns of light they emit as language and ‘watch’ the patterns of light they emit as sonarscapes.
Captain: okay…. sounds fake, but okay…
And they just keep on making up new bullshit rules for how light works, like
Navigator: Warp drive engaged. We are approaching 90% of the Lorentz limit.
Human: What now?
Navigator: Oh, uh, it’s really complex, but lemme try. So, matter can only move so fast through space, right? Like absolutely, nothing can ever ever possibly go faster than like about 3 hundred million meters per second–
Human: Ah yes. The speed of light.
Navigator: …oh for fuck’s sake.
Captain: My god! Time! Has… frozen!
Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.
Captain: What?
Human: Remember how light is a wave and a particle?
Captain: Yes, we mention this every episode.
Human: Yeah, light’s frozen along with everything else. I can’t see shit.
Captain: My god! Our sonar doesn’t work either! The soundwaves— they can’t propagate through this frozen air! We’ll have to use just our whiskers!
Human: Fuuuuuuuuck.
The fanfiction for this show has to be amazing.
“Shh. Don’t try to hide your needs, Captain,” Hue Mann soothed. “My sight has told me all about your traumatic memories of the war.”
“What?” Captain gasped. “But…how…?”
“The light knows all,” explained Hue. “Time slows down at the speed of light. It sees all of the past..and all of the future.”
“And what is it telling you now?” questioned the Captain.
Hue leaned in close. “It tells me, ‘Mate with them now, you lovestruck fool!”
“Damn you, Hue Mann. Damn you and your penetrating ‘eyes.’”
“Oh,” breathed Hue, voice husky and sexual. “That’s not all my eyes can…penetrate.”
goddamn, you people amaze me.
I love the idea that the protag species has telepathy as ‘boring normal standard’ senses and they can’t understand why human thoughts seems so strange, fragmented, occasionally blank… until they realise that a great of human thought is ‘visual’ and so can’t be heard…
“Lori, what do your Human eyes see?”
“Coupla billboards, and it looks like it might rain.”
This keeps getting better
This is so cute. Your human crewmember is getting a crush on another human. Time to observe the humans’ weird yet endearing courtship rituals.
“Tell me all about them! What do you like about them?”
“Well, they have these amazing eyes…”
“Yeah? Better at the the wavemapping thing than yours?”
“…I don’t know how good their eyes are at seeing. They’re just this beautiful shade of brown.”
“Wait. You wavemap each other’s wavemapping organs? And have opinions about what nice frequencies they refract the waves at?”
“Yes? What’s so strange about this?”
“I thought your ‘vision’ was passive. Do you listen to each other’s ears too? And like the smell of each other’s noses?”
“Like you’ve never touched someone’s whiskers with your whiskers.”
“…That’s different.”
Hang on though, how do you explain photovoltaics if they don’t know what photons are?
That’s a point; any space-faring aliens would (reasonably) have to have a good knowledge of electromagnetism and electromagnetic radiation. (And, potentially wave-particle duality and other quantum physics.) They might even have their own ways of detecting and measuring it (photodiodes, CCDs, radio telescopes, whatever) despite not being able to perceive it themselves just as we developed ways to measure things we can’t detect (like ultrasonics, heat (infrared), radio wavelengths etc.).
So our vision might not necessarily be so mystical as telepathy to us, but more like how some species of fish are sensitive to EM fields as well as sonar mentioned above. But our eyes and brain can do a lot of processing, still, and have an advantage over other ways creatures might perceive their environment. Pertinently to space travel, sight works in a vacuum and (theoretically) infinite distance. Instead of a sophisticated EM sensor array, fleets could simply install a human and a window.
There’s potentially quite an interesting plot there where our nonhuman protagonists are entirely familiar with electromagnetism in the abstract, in the same way that humans are familiar with magnetism despite not having (much) direct sensitivity to it, but it takes them a while to work out that it’s how we do that weird “seeing” thing we keep talking about,and even longer to get the hang of what frequency range we use to do it.
And they might still be baffled by optic lenses.
But think about the discovery of humans.
You have this space-faring race kicking around, doing their thing, discovering new worlds and civilizations. They have all this advanced technology to hide themselves from all known senses so they can enter into the lower atmosphere of a planet and observe for a bit, cloaked from being noticed until they’ve decided whether or not the new race is ready to be introduced to galactic society.
And they show up at this blue world way out on the edges of civilized space, and detect life, and drop into the atmosphere fully cloaked and ready to research, and suddenly a scientist sends out a distress message to the rest if the crew:
Millions of Earthlings have immediately begun observing *them*.
But can you imagine being part of the crew? Like, you make friend with this strange intrepid little human, we shall name them B, and one day, say during a routine scan of a planet on the surface, they suddenly collapse and fall to the ground, clutching at their eyes, their wave mapping instruments, screaming.
“What’s wrong?! What happened?!” You cry, rushing towards them, fully prepared to call to medical, remembering the last time you let B out of your sight and they tried to pet a toxic organism. That was not a fun thing to try and explain to the Captain…
“MY EYES!!! I-I CAN’T SEE! TOO BRIGHT!” They’re screaming, wetness screaming through their fingers as they press harshly against the slightly concaved area where the more sensitive part of their eyes, the more exposed part of the ocular wave mapping is located. You swear, whiskers twitching in worry, before contacting medical and pulling B tight to your chest, trying to hold them still and keep their hands from clawing out their eyes. They just keep screaming and screaming, sobs and wetness leaking down their face – tears, you vaguely remember them being called, at least in the human tongue.
B’s face is drenched with them, their throat raw from the noise they’re able to produce, which is, in its own right, quite astounding. You have only heard them make such a noise when they’re pack-bond instincts had spilled over to you and you were about to be hit by a phaser. B had pushed you out of the way, screaming at you all the while, dragging your limp body out of the line of danger, despite their own multiple wounds. You can only hope that their ocular wave mapping ability within their eyes is not damaged too severely.
My dyslexia glasses would be even harder to explain to them. “Unless I’m looking through a specific colour, everything swirls around and there’s not really much point.” “Sounds fake, but okay”
What the ever living fuck
The day I don’t reblog this is the day I have lost my sense of humor completely
FUCK NOT THIS AGAIN

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(via tastytalk)
Alternative Pinup
This is the Greatest Monologue of All Time.
S̠͕͉͚̟͋̄̈̾ͬͅST̍̒͛̒ͩ̐O̰͇̖̗̭͂͒ͯ͛ͅP͇͊!
YOU FOUULSSSS!
𝕎𝔼𝔼𝔼 𝔸ℝ𝔼 𝕋ℍ𝔼 𝔽𝔽𝔸𝕀ℝ𝕀𝔼𝕊 𝕆𝔽 𝕂𝕀ℕ𝔾 𝕆ℙ𝕆𝕃𝕀𝕆ℕ…
YOU……..,,,,,, YOU ARE NOTHING..,,, BUT
WÖËËRRMS
and
MÏSËRÄBLË ĊRËÄTŮRËS
T ̺͉̯̞̲ͩ̊̿̎͂̄͜͠A̴̛͚̝̞̙͈͉ͮ̈̈ͧͦ̋̽͘Ȩ̗͚̖̖͙̻̦̦͆͐ͅS̬̘̳̳̚͜͟T̛̊ͫ̒̈̌̑̊҉͕͖̞̯̹̟̼E̼̬͕̙͓̟̖̭ͦ̉ͥ̓ͮ̄͝D̴ͣͫ̋ͨͮ͟҉̹͈̭̮ OF OUR ᴾᴼᵂᴱᴿˢss?
YOU THINK???? FOR ONE MOMENT????? THAT ƳƠƲ CAN TURN YOUR BACKS ON uᏕ?
WE WILL
̼̩̭̂̐̊̑ͧ̑͋͟B̋ͬ̑̈́҉͉͈̳̖Ȗ̷̱̖͔̥͖̹͖̘ͤͭ͆̎͢R̷̫̖̜̺̄̌ͪ̅͆̀̄ͯ̕͡N̦̩̤ͪ̆̉̿̀̓̄͝
YOUR
̖̙͇̥̳̬͚͉͊̒́̐͞B̭͙͙͙̹̪̫̓O̸̴̯̭̪̩͕̓̽͐ͪͪ͋Ḋ̤̮̽ͪ͆͟ͅỈ̷̵͓̄̒͌ͭ̿ͤ͟Ȩ̶̺̦̽ͪ̿̚̕S̷̳̝̤̲̩͈͛ͤ́ͪ͋ͣ͝
AND DISPERSE THEM TO THE FORWᵢₙD YEESSSS
Animal Puddles (more)
Let’s talk about Nightjars
they are these wonderful tiny predatory birds
With great camouflage for multiple environments
And lovely plumage dependent on their species
BUT BEST OF ALL IS THEIR MOUTHS, which look small then their beaks are closed (they’ve even got cute lil’ whiskers!)
BUT ARE ACTUALLY HUUUUGE
BEST BIRD
i am here for this bird
WHAT IS THIS ELDRITCH HORROR!!!
Didn’t you read? It’s a Nightjar.
@lotsandlotsofbirds

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this is the most valid car in the world.
frogy.
“Potter / Ceramicist”
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