hi

You know you’re my saving grace.

Dear Ted, It’s 3 a.m. I can’t sleep. Nancy’s gone. It happened this morning (actually, yesterday morning now) sometime before dawn. I know that because she was purring in my arms on Friday night before I went to bed, but on Saturday morning Brenda and I found her curled up cold on her pillow. The other cats spent most of the day hiding behind the sofas. Brenda and I could hardly look at each other without tearing up. We laid poor Nancy in a shoebox but couldn’t bring ourselves to take her outside and bury her right away. Brenda cooked all morning. Breads, pastries, a gigantic pot of chili—far more than the two of us could possibly eat in a month. Which was all right, because I think all that cooking helped distract her.

I wanna cry and I wanna love But all my tears have been used up.