Madness Central

I think if we all start posting nipples at once they won't be able to stop all of us. and by they I don't just mean tumblr staff I'm referring to the entire world. I think the nipple is a very destigmatizable body part and I expect/demand it to be a normal thing within my lifetime. the fear of nipples is so weird and archaic, it's a body part dude

the sleepy -> cozy -> asleep pipeline is very real

I love yawning. big fun deep breath for me

going with the flow in a face down in a river kinda way

my favorite greentext is white woman spotted

I AM ON A BUS AND I CLICKED ON THIS FORGETTING MY AIRPODS WERE OUT AND IT JUST BLASTED FULL "white woman spotted." OUT LOUD AND NOW THERES A WHITE WOMAN STARING AT ME HELP

oh and how could i forget. final boss. take your fucking medication

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need better friends

"there's no platonic explanation for this" some of y'all need to be better friends

A long time ago, in the Age of Physical, software would be stored on beautiful mirrored discs, and inside each disc a tiny wizard lived who would install the software for you.

why is it always a male character going mad avenging his dead wife and never a female character cradling her dying pure of heart husband in her arms then dragging the whole world down with her

First of all, this is a very clever use of this gif. Secondly, fuck you.

Modern vampire who has spent the last 70-ish years of their immortality primarily being slutty in nightclubs and non-lethal snacking on hookups shocked and uncomfortable that most vampires older than the lightbulb are really into torture and cruelty and eating babies alive. Super excited to finally meet his own kind and then oh no. oh fuck. time out wtf are they doing. this is profoundly unsexy they bit that guy’s arm off and are letting him crawl around screaming and crying. there’s not even any kissing or grinding or club music. is this normal?? i am Going to throw up i’ve gotta get these poor ppl out of here. askjeeves how to smuggle 30 naked prisoners (assorted genders) out of vampire mansion time sensitive.

today I found out my mother doesn’t know what dandelions are and now I’m wondering what other strange secrets she’s been quietly harboring

Where do you live that you don’t have dandelions?

we have dandelions EVERYWHERE, they are basically our State Weed, it is absolutely impossible that my mom has never interacted with a dandelion before, this requires further investigation

See, folks in the southern US will tell you up and down those are buttercups, actually.

Wait I thought those bigger cup ones were Easter Lillies???

They’re marigolds and I know a bitch when I see one!

….we need to start taking the phrase “go touch grass” more literally. go outside and examine a flower i beg u

*squints* is that a motherfucking EVENING PRIMROSE?!??