kalag ni anjoeli

I rehearse small talk before the Uber arrives. That sounds ridiculous, I know. But I do. I check the plate number first. Then the driver’s name. Then I prepare one or two topics in my head, just in case the ride becomes one of those rides where silence feels heavier than usual. Weather is always safe. Construction is safe too, because this is Edmonton and there is always a road being fixed…

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2018/02/28/bisan-makapoy-piliton-sa-gihapon/

Bisan Makapoy Piliton sa Gihapon

(An unrequited love.)

Kon mahimo ko maghulat sobra apat ka oras para lang sa kahigayunan nga makita ko ikaw

Ang kakapoy bala nga akon nabatyag mahimo ko na nga buy-an?

Kon ang kada balhas nga naga-ilig sa akon lawas patimaan nga ako wala bisan gamay nga talaw

Mabuy-an ko bala ining akon panglakaton sa kasanagan?

Wala na sang iban nga padulungan ang ini nga kabuhi kundi sa promisa nga sa ulihi may kasanag

May nagahulat nga kabuhi nga puno sang paghigugma

Nga maluwas sa balhas ining dugo nga kon kaisa naga-ilig man may kapuslanan kag indi lang kanugon

Kay ara ka sa punta nagahulat, nagapangganyat, nagatawag

Ugaling makapila na ako ka beses nga nagahulat sang imo pag-atubang kag pagsabat

Sa tagipusuon ko nga nagatawag sing liwat-liwat

Pila pa ka pagyaguta ang akon mabatian, pila pa ka pag-abusar ang dapat ko agyan

Para lang akon mabatyagn bisan init sang ginhawa mo lang

Kay wala na sing padulungan ang akon kusog, lawas, kag kalag kundi padulong sa imo mga kamot nga bukas

Bukas sa pagbaton, bukas sa pagbulong, bukas sa pagdula sang tanan ko nga ginabatyag

Gani bisan ano pa nga pagpangyaguta

Bisan ano pa nga sakit sang likod tungod sang akon pagduko-duko

Bisan ano pa nga kalyo sa tiil ko ang magtulubo

Bisan pila pa ka huya ang akon nga patyon

Bisan pila pa ka gutom ang akon antuson

Bisan gamay lang ang akon mabaton sa subong

Bisan indi na tawo ang pagtratar nila sa akon

Bisan ubuson pa nila ang akon kabug-osan, ihatag ko gid ang tanan

Tubtub ang promis sang maayo nga kabuhi akon nga mabatyagan

Akon mapabatyag sa akon ginikanan

Akon mapakita sa akon kabataan

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2018/02/24/must-everything-change/

Why must everything change?

I looked out of the window and saw darkness. February’s nearly done and I expect longer daylights from now on. But I can hear the rumbling sound of thunder. It might rain but it may not. The wind is cool but the temperature this morning was very hot. I want rain to pour but that would leave me laying in bed for too long.

I walked a few kilometers this afternoon. I saw the places I frequented when I was young. The lion statue that I loved is nowhere to be found. The playground where I played alone as my grandma looked after me is also gone. The streetlights are new with green technology and brighter than the mercury bulbs before. That street is totally different than how I remembered it 20 years ago. I miss the feeling of mirth, the feeling of carelessness. I miss the episodes of fun, the moments of laughter, as I slide down with grandma trying to catch me below, calling me to try the monkey bars.

While I continued walking I remembered what I saw last week. A statue of a local hero was erected and people could now imagine him after many decades of just imagining how he would look like. But he is dwarfed by buildings around him, establishments that he might not believe to be existing in the place he defended with his life. He might have wondered why he was there, in the middle of a commercial mishmash, him who might never even have tasted a meal like that restaurant near his statue.

But there are no trees in sight. No tall grasses, no crazy winds. I remember passing by this area in the past, riding the jeepney with my face being blown by the purest of all winds. Now, not even a gentle breeze can be found. I was even sweating while I was there. But I only sweat because I feel the humidity all around not me. Unlike those industrious men and women serving in the establishments near the hero’s statue, working with all their might, all for the wages that they will earn maybe in a few days or more.

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2018/01/28/medical-schools-can-make-sick/

How Medical Schools Can Make You Sick

This blog post is so close to my heart that I immediately remembered my counter-musings about my decision to pursue medicine. Unlike other people, I was late in realizing my desired career path and so, I had numerous hangups along the way.

That is why when I started medicine I was taken aback by what it has for me. Isn’t medicine meant to cure people? Why, then, did I get sick more often when I started this path?

Here are some ways medical schools can make you sick!

Medical schools are expensive!

You will be surprised to know that your childhood dream of wearing a lab gown with a stethoscope would cost even more expensive than your own house! Even with the present program of the government that offers free tuition fees for medical students in return for a number of years in service, you will still need to save up for your books, materials, allowances, and other expenses to cover your needs.

They will leave you with piles of books that might be obsolete in the next decade!

This is not because of portable reading materials! The rise of ebooks did not downplay the need for physical books in medical schools. However, with the fast pace of scientific research, books would often release new editions to compensate for the new findings in science or if their book layout is getting old and boring.

They suck up your social life!

You’ll end up giving more of your time to studying (or looking up at your ceiling feeling empty) than spending them with your friends! You’ll have less time going out with friends or even just buying some of your necessities.

Your immune system will be compromised!

Here is the part that gets so relatable. Since you have less and less sleep, you will probably succumb to the flu then some. Plus the headaches and heartaches that your consultant will probably refer to as psychogenic!

You will miss your family even if you live together!

If you have your own room, you will spend most of your life there because of medical school. If there are no classes, you will even find it hard to soak up under the sun. Sundays can be family days, too, but they are not as good as what you had before. Are you still interested in medical school?

You’ll crave for sleep more often than you expect!

Enough said.

Exams and grades will leave you paranoid!

For me, this was the first time in my whole academic life that I was so concerned with my grades. Most medical schools would have retention policies and even entrance rules are unforgiving. So, you’ll end up forcing yourself to study or if you failed, stand up again.

They will expose you to the reality of the state of medicine in the world!

It never gets more sickening than this! You’ll be surprised to know how the world is faring with their medical woes and situation. In a 2015 report of the World Health Organization, it was found that around 400 million people in the world do not have access to essential health services. This will make you sick but you might be the one to provide the solution to this problem.

You will see sick people!

But if you decided to become a doctor yet still unsure about meeting sick people, you might want to take a step back. Medical schools would provide you with actual patients to guide you in your training. You will experience many of your firsts as a medical practitioner and most of the time, you’ll be sick of knowing the hardships that your patient encounters. Eventually, you’ll be able to overcome these and your experiences could inspire you to be a good doctor someday.

You need to brave all these!

There is a global phenomenon of doctor shortages in the world and it is evident here in the Philippines. According to the Philippines Medical Association, there are approximately 140,000 registered physicians in the country but only 70,000 are practicing. Our country still needs aspiring doctors to serve our countrymen, especially in far-flung areas.

The road towards the MD suffix is a hard and tricky one and it is expected that anyone can and will feel sick. But this is a fruitful road and future doctors what we need in this world.

Here is an infographic by MIMS from https://today.mims.com/doctor-shortage-in-the-philippines–an-analysis:

  Read:

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2017/12/31/til-dawn-awakes-dancing-dark-new-years-eve/

'Til Dawn Awakes: Dancing in the Dark of New Year's Eve

So, the last day of 2017 is on a Sunday and for Christians, this might have been the hardest service to attend for the whole year. Of course, everybody is excited about the New Year. Plus, you need to cook for the medianoche or buy your last purchases for 2017. Who has the time to pray and reflect? New Year’s Eve, after all, is a holiday in its own right.

Perhaps you already know how 2017 went. (duh) But as you might observe, 2017 has been sad, taxing, and wearisome. I would have said this was the worst year but we always say that when every year ends. (Remember 2016?)

My previous posts on this blog have been so negative I myself find them hard to read. I try hard to remove all the negativity that I feel for the whole week every Saturday evening. As I’m preparing to lead worship for NYE, I chanced upon thoughts of what happened in 2017 and sought refuge in the songs to choose for worship.

2017 was a total wreck

I could not count the times that I cried in 2017. I can say almost half of all the heartaches I have experienced in my whole life happened in 2017. We’ve been to health chaos, financial tragedies, and emotional mishaps. I admit I was even so broken that I did not enjoy my Christmas this year.

This is one of the issues of a worship leader that I have found happening with others, too, all around the world. You are breaking but you must brave all of them during worship. It’s awkward to think that you are being remade everytime you lead services but that is just the truth. You find solace in thinking that you have created this emotional connection with your co-worshipers and you lead them to experience a divine phenomenon every time you meet.

But these healing instances could not deny the fact that 2017 was an unfavorable year. Christians would go on and say that every year is the Year of the Lord, denying all zodiac beliefs that abound. However, our years must be broken for us to find the solution to bind us. For us Christians, that would be God. People would have different opinions on this but we live to find the mender of our hearts in our lifetime.

But still, we need to celebrate

Rend Collective is a Christian group from Northern Ireland who is described as a Christian experimental, folk rock, worship band. Their style of worship music is still unheard of in many churches here in the country but thanks to Facebook and Worship Together, I got to hear some of their songs. Their music is refreshing and inspiring (aside from the awesome attires they wear when leading worship).

One of the happy things that happened in 2017 was the 500th anniversary of the Protestant Reformation. It is a story of hope and constant change (semper reformanda) that has inspired me for many years. Given the various heartaches, I have encountered during the first half of the year, preparing for the Reformation services was challenging.

But I heard one song from Rend Collective that made my heart jump. We sang it for worship and the people’s reaction to the lyrics were astounding. The first verse has this line:

Praise Him when you’re smiling, praise Him when you’re breaking

Listen to the song for yourself:

But the chorus was more than heart-wrenching. It was totally glorious and draws out this uncontrollable urge to thank God and offer Him everything:

Celebrate, celebrate, shout it from the mountaintops

Celebrate, celebrate, even with a broken heart

I can say I am always relieved of my brokenness everytime I hear and sing this song. And I just decided to sing this with the congregation this New Year’s Eve.

New Year’s Eve is dark, but the shining dawn awaits

2017 might have been depressing and all but the song offers consolation and what man should do to contain himself or herself. The second part of the chorus says:

‘Til dawn awakes we’ll sing Your praise dancing in the dark

For all our days our song will say: Lord, how great You are!

Every sad and hard day is a dark day for us. But it doesn’t mean we couldn’t dance. With morning comes hope and as for me and my family, we choose to sing our song: Lord, how great You are!

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2017/12/26/and-so-this-is-christmas/

And so this is Christmas...

Christmas can be very stressful at times but I truly missed all the fuss for this year. As I was lying in my bed a while ago I was wondering how time was so fast that I did not realize that it has been a few weeks since Halloween.

I have read somewhere that as you progress in life, you become less aware time with instances where you even lost tracking it. But I think aside from me ultimately beginning to become an adult, the increase in the pace of this world’s affairs also come to play.

Imagine, I just bought a new phone weeks ago but it already is quite outdated (by the looks of what models are available right now). It’s poignant that one aspect that needs to change in adulthood is the feeling of Christmas.

Losing the Feeling

As someone who lives in the Philippines (and subsequently a Christmas-celebrating Christian), I was conditioned to treat the holiday season as a happy season. Kids would often look forward to this celebration and yearn for the gifts. But now, even the kids are not that excited and overt materialism has overcome that special feeling every December.

Are people getting more mature? Are we starting to think practically? Isn’t Christmas a time for accounting the whole year and prepare for the next one in line?

As per my faith, Christmas starts every first Sunday of Advent and this year, it never failed me. But I want my childlike eagerness to celebrate the season back. I want the daydreams, the simple joys, the happy face I bear when I see Santa Claus. Where are they? Is this a sign of adulthood? Or is this the sign of the times?

Getting Depressed

Depression has been given proper attention this 2017 with all the suicide stories and mental health awareness all around. However, what most people don’t know is that Christmas is actually associated with depression and suicide compared to other holidays in the year.

We cannot express all the losses that we had for 2017 plus all the disappointments. Society tells us that Christmas is a happy celebration and most of the time we are forced by societal norms to be happy. This, in turn, leads people to be angry towards the holiday as their woes are not considered by many.

Perhaps a change of perspective will help? It is always OKAY not to be happy and no one must force us to feel otherwise.

Joining the Waves

I’m finishing up this post by the beach, drinking coconut water, listening to the waves. Christmas was yesterday and it was a great one. Maybe I was just too melancholic with everything that’s happening around me.

As much as I would like to force myself to celebrate, I would instead join the waves and let all of this pass. Maybe 2018 would be a better year. We could only hope.

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2017/12/26/and-so-this-is-christmas/

And so this is Christmas...

Christmas can be very stressful at times but I truly missed all the fuss for this year. As I was lying in my bed a while ago I was wondering how time was so fast that I did not realize that it has been a few weeks since Halloween.

I have read somewhere that as you progress in life, you become less aware time with instances where you even lost tracking it. But I think aside from me ultimately beginning to become an adult, the increase in the pace of this world’s affairs also come to play.

Imagine, I just bought a new phone weeks ago but it already is quite outdated (by the looks of what models are available right now). It’s poignant that one aspect that needs to change in adulthood is the feeling of Christmas.

Losing the Feeling

As someone who lives in the Philippines (and subsequently a Christmas-celebrating Christian), I was conditioned to treat the holiday season as a happy season. Kids would often look forward to this celebration and yearn for the gifts. But now, even the kids are not that excited and overt materialism has overcome that special feeling every December.

Are people getting more mature? Are we starting to think practically? Isn’t Christmas a time for accounting the whole year and prepare for the next one in line?

As per my faith, Christmas starts every first Sunday of Advent and this year, it never failed me. But I want my childlike eagerness to celebrate the season back. I want the daydreams, the simple joys, the happy face I bear when I see Santa Claus. Where are they? Is this a sign of adulthood? Or is this the sign of the times?

Getting Depressed

Depression has been given proper attention this 2017 with all the suicide stories and mental health awareness all around. However, what most people don’t know is that Christmas is actually associated with depression and suicide compared to other holidays in the year.

We cannot express all the losses that we had for 2017 plus all the disappointments. Society tells us that Christmas is a happy celebration and most of the time we are forced by societal norms to be happy. This, in turn, leads people to be angry towards the holiday as their woes are not considered by many.

Perhaps a change of perspective will help? It is always OKAY not to be happy and no one must force us to feel otherwise.

Joining the Waves

I’m finishing up this post by the beach, drinking coconut water, listening to the waves. Christmas was yesterday and it was a great one. Maybe I was just too melancholic with everything that’s happening around me.

As much as I would like to force myself to celebrate, I would instead join the waves and let all of this pass. Maybe 2018 would be a better year. We could only hope.

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2017/12/25/celebrating-christmas-2017/

Celebrating Christmas in 2017

I was not able to write anything for weeks because things bugged me a lot. I got myself into semi-seclusion, cried myself to sleep for various school-related woes I had, and disturbingly ate lots of food to compensate my self-inflicted period of depression. And so, too, started my Christmas season.

It’s surprising for a Christmas junkie like me would be quite sad in December. I admit this is not the first Christmas that would be bittersweet. But generally, this season brings out a peculiar joy that could only be felt in December.

Filipinos are real Christmas people. Here in our city, we started hearing Christmas songs in malls as early as September 1. Decorations followed and soon schedules for Christmas sales were displayed. However, the Christmas joy that I usually feel is nowhere to be found. Instead, I found people succumbing to poverty, salarymen weary of their jobs, parents smug of their children’s Christmas gift requirements, and forced festival attitude.

I really do hope that this is me growing up and feeling the weariness and stress that the world has for me. I have been discussing this with friends with me longing for that Christmas magic to come back and blow me away. But as observed (and so, my personal opinion), more and more people seem to long for this and has noticed the loss of the Christmas traditions they enjoyed for the past years.

Of course, I’m not saying this is universal. Perhaps I am saying this from the point of view of a Christian celebrating Christmas who grew up enjoying the holidays. But as it is still the 25th here, I hope I still get to be in the same spirit of celebration as before.

Anyway, as a Christian, the center of this celebration is the birth of Christ. While I personally acknowledge that His birth is nowhere near December, the tradition of owing this holiday to Christ’s incarnation should be reason enough to mark this month with joy and peace.

For a medicine student, Facebook is a nice place to explore other people’s ideas and to connect with other students and doctors who share tidbits of their experiences and opinions online. I chanced upon an article shared by a friend about Tu Youyou, the awardee for the Nobel Prize in Medicine in 2015.

Tu was the recipient of half of that year’s prize for her contributions in discovering a novel…

I’m back to writing for a campus paper

Writing for a Campus Paper

I started involving myself with campus journalism back in high school when I was appointed to join a campus journalism seminar. Unlike my classmates, that was my very first exposure to the craft and have fallen in love with it ever since. It also served as my entry to our campus paper.

Through circumstances I still cannot understand, I became the chief editor of our…

Since I started watching Doctor Who a few years ago, Christmas became more exciting. Of course, Christmas in itself is special for me especially its religious context. You will find various articles about Christmas on this blog.

Doctor Who, a family sci-fi series from the UK, would have Christmas specials since it came back in 2005.  Doctor Who added spice to the festivities and with the story…

New Post has been published on https://ceaselessnomad.com/2017/11/18/the-first-and-twelfth-doctors-in-the-tardis/

The First and Twelfth Doctors in the TARDIS!

Since I started watching Doctor Who a few years ago, Christmas became more exciting. Of course, Christmas in itself is special for me especially its religious context. You will find various articles about Christmas on this blog.

Doctor Who, a family sci-fi series from the UK, would have Christmas specials since it came back in 2005.  Doctor Who added spice to the festivities and with the story revolving around the First Doctor meeting his thirteenth incarnation (but he’s the Twelfth), I feel more than excited for this year’s Christmas special!

Here is the latest trailer for the special:

Peter Capaldi, the current Doctor, has been a long-time fan of the show since it first aired when he was still a boy. The First Doctor, played by William Hartnell, was his first Doctor! It’s nice watching him interact with his childhood hero although a new actor is playing the character.

David Bradley, famous for playing Argus Filch and Walder Frey, is playing as the First Doctor. He previously acted as William Hartnell for a biopic of the latter’s life. He is the third person to play the character.

He was interviewed early this year and was asked if he will be playing the First Doctor as per rumors. He replied with a chuckle, “Who knows?” Well, Who knows because now he is Who, too!

Too bad Doctor Who is not shown here in the Philippines. I am yet to finish Peter Capaldi’s second season on a DVD my girlfriend bought for me.

And this would be Peter’s last episode before leaving the show. He has given the series a great run, as with all actors, giving it his personal take. I will remember his wits and his fatherly image. But I am also excited for Jodi Whittaker next year who will be the first female Doctor in history!

I tried to give this post with the title “Pursuing Happiness” but that would be too cliché. I was planning a post series about happiness which I started here but my schedule prevented me from doing so. I will try to finish that but for now, I felt an internal nudge telling me to write about this.

Too often we would hear people say that man’s ultimate goal is to be happy. I have struggled with the…

Lazada Flash Sale for November 11 – Schedule Here! (4 of 4)

Flash Sale – November 11, 2017 – PART 4 of 4

Timeslot Category Product SRP Flash Sale Price 8pm TV, Audio/Video, Gaming & Wearables Sound Bytes N10 Extreme Bluetooth Speaker (Blue) 288 209 8pm Bags and Travel Kingslong KLB1131350 and Techno Tamashi TH780 2,599 1,199 8pm Fashion Tanggo Kathy Fashion Sneakers Women’s Rubber Shoes (navy blue) 998 349 8pm Health & Beauty Skin-A-Peel One…

Lazada Flash Sale for November 11 – Schedule Here! (3 of 4)

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Flash Sale – November 11, 2017 – PART 3 of 4

Timeslot Category Product SRP Flash Sale Price 6pm Home Appliances American Heritage 1.5 L Rice Cooker AHRC-6073 (Stainless) 799 599 6pm Motors RXR 007 Open Face Motorcycle Helmet (Flourescent Red) 1,799 795 6pm Kitchen & Dining Palmer 8pc Stainless Steel Cookware Set with Glass Lid and Bakelite Handles2,499 1,199 6pm…

Lazada Flash Sale for November 11 – Schedule Here! (2 of 4)

*|MC_PREVIEW_TEXT|*<!--

Flash Sale – November 11, 2017 – PART 2 of 4

Timeslot Category Product SRP Flash Sale Price 12nn Cameras Xiaomi Xiao Fang Yi CCTV MI IP Cam Night Vision 1080P Full HD (White) 1,249 839 12nn Computers & Laptops Lenovo IdeaPad 320-14IAP N4200 QC Quad Core 14in Win10 Home EM 18,495 14,299 12nn Mobiles & Tablets Pineng PN-969 20000mah Powerbank (Black/Red)2,699 649…

Lazada Flash Sale for November 11 – Schedule Here! (1 of 4)

Flash Sale – November 11, 2017 – PART 1 of 4

Timeslot Category Product SRP Flash Sale Price 12nn Mobiles & Tablets O+ Compact Pro 16GB (Rose Gold) 11,990 2,999 12am Fashion Keds  WF53400 CH Metallic Native Dot Women’s Sneaker Shoes (Magenta) 1,955 1,200 12am Sports & Outdoors Spinning Bike (Black/Red) 14,999 3,799 12am Watches Sunglasses Jewellery Casio Youth Men’s Black Resin Strap…