there is hope in you

As he walked back to his closet to look for his own sleepwear, he subtly shifted his attention back over his shoulder to the older male— catching sight of the evident awkward aura surrounding him. Is he hesitating whether or not he should change here? This was the first time he had seen Ruki appearing rather hesitant which meant his must be just as embarrassed as he was about the kiss but had a better way of concealing it.

It was cute, Kou had to admit. But then he diverted his attention back to his closet before he could be caught staring.

"You should hurry and change, Ruki-kun." He decided to break the silence as he reached down to pull his own shirt off, making it obvious to the other male that he had no intention of turning around to look at him for he’d be too busy changing into his own sleepwear. He tossed his shirt carelessly down on the floor before reaching for another plain white shirt— failing to recall the main reason why he doesn’t take his shirt off in front of anyone.

He had taken in the slender movement of the idol's muscles as the younger of the two had reached to get a hold of a fresh new shirt. Kou didn't exceptionally have a powerfully strapping built; if anything, he leaned more to the slightly soft and skinny department. But that's what makes him Kou, too lazy to work out but hyper enough to move around too much. Ruki would have carried on marveling at his body if it weren't for the conspicuous scars that were marred on the blond's skin.

The heightened streaks of ruined skin were hard to pay no mind to and images of Kou's tear-stained face flashed in Ruki's mind. Ruki had felt hopeless that time. When their escape plan had proven to be ineffective, the nine-year-old Kou had gotten in higher demand and every night, Ruki had to listen to him walk into their room with agonizing sobs and distressing tears. Every night, he had to wake up to see Kou begging for his warmth, to hear the blond cry himself to sleep while knowing that he couldn't do anything anymore to help him.

After realizing he was dwelling in the past which was something he had been telling his brothers not to do, the taller Mukami promptly turned his back on his brother and pulled his shirt off.

The tightening feeling within his lungs was too much for the idol to bear. They had their chance to finally confirm what had been going on between them— to finally understand how he feels for the older Mukami and he had ruined it. He wasn’t sure if that was for the best or not.

"Huh…?" He blinked at the sound of Ruki’s suggestion. There was a long pause during which he took in his words. ”Wait, what?! S-Sleep here with… you…?!” The last time he remembered sharing a bed with Ruki was back when they were still at the orphanage. Kou would often wake him up in the middle of the night in tears after a long night of satisfying those aristocrats and Ruki would scoot over to let him sleep by his side. This was different now. There was not a single tinge of innocence at the idea of sleeping in the same bed with Ruki.

The blond struggled for words but they all came out in a sputtered mess until he finally gathered his wits to object. But before he could even say anything, Ruki’s last words stopped him. He shouldn’t even be this nervous to begin with. He had slept with a decent number of people before after all.

Still, the loud pounding of his heart still won’t cease.

Kou clearly wanted answers but Ruki couldn't give him one right now. Especially after the unforeseen rejection.

'He must like someone.' The taller Mukami concluded as he eyed his brother leaf through his closet. Perhaps he had interpreted the signs right but due to a year of not seeing each other, it was possible that Kou had met someone and had eventually forgotten about the sexual tension they had between them.

But who caught his brother's heart? The bare thought of it was more or less outrageous knowing Kou wasn't the type to like anyone else but his family. Whoever that person was, they had most definitely gotten through Kou's walls. A twinge of envy sparked inside Ruki but he decided to overlook it as he reached for the clothes that were handed to him.

He grew up with him after all. They fought and survived together. Just like how he feels for their other brothers, Kou deems Ruki as an important part of his life. There was no way he could just treat him the way he would treat his fans— find them attractive, hook up with them, then leave once his needs were satisfied.

Ruki deserves better than that.

Just when Kou had finally fixed upon the decision of moving away, the next occurrence utterly caught him off-guard. Ruki kissed him. Ruki— the same guy who had just shown no interest in dating anyone and prefers to spend his time reading than expanding his social circle— made the first move. This was what Kou wanted— had longed for. He could just easily kiss him back now and disregard all the concerns that were swirling within the depths of his mind.

However, the thought of only using his brother got the better of him and Kou immediately jerked away from him, stumbling away from the older male’s figure and down on the bed beside him. Heat rushed up his cheeks and never in the idol’s life had he felt this embarrassed.

As soon as his younger brother had jerked away from him, the only thought that surfaced in Ruki's mind was:

'No, no, no. I screwed up. I screwed up.'

Kou looked so flabbergasted that if they were in a different situation, Ruki would have pointed out that he was blushing for once. He didn't want to hypothesize that the blush meant anything else but embarrassment; he didn't want to make that mistake again seeing as Kou didn't seem to feel the same way. His mind scrambled for an explanation as he calmly helped himself up, looking strangely nonchalant compared to his baffled brother.

Kou's question rang in his ears and a proper explanation refused to help the older Mukami.

This must be the reason why her father had told her more than once that she shouldn’t saunter home before dawn by herself in a street that was so reticent, it could be deemed nonexistent. Both hands rigidly clutching the grocery bag, the young petite girl swallowed the thick nervous lump that had formed in her throat as she attempted to disregard the presence behind her. I’m being followed.

She didn’t have to look back over her shoulder to know that she was being followed. The sound of their footsteps behind her had been haunting her the very second she had stepped out of the grocery store. She had considered the other possibilities such as the person being her neighbor and was just actually heading back home which could explain why they’re still behind her.

However, Yuuri had taken a shortcut that she seldom used and yet, the person stayed within her attention. At this point, the girl had picked up her pace— willing herself not to run for she was never a fast runner and would never be able to outrun them. Growing frantic, Yuuri put an abrupt halt to her steps and quickly whirled around to face them before shouting at the top of her lungs.

'What in the world is this idiot thinking?'

A brow was lifted in return to the short-haired girl's unforeseen outburst at him. Did he look like someone who would mug her? He had to take offense in that. He had just been solely walking back to the mansion with a grocery bag in hand. He had already discerned the girl after catching on how they've been taking the same routes; even taking the shortcut he usually took when heading back home.

The dark-haired Mukami looked down at his own outfit which only consisted of a long-sleeved maroon shirt with a black butterfly print on the bottom left side along with a pair of black pants, belt and web choker. Not exactly the kind of outfit an assailant would wear.

"Are you honestly making a terrible joke or are you just this stupid?" He finally spoke as he walked over to her, a displeased look surfacing on his features. "Do I look like the type who would harm a person?" Of course not. If he wanted to hurt someone, he'd have someone else do it for him. "I may be wrong but we probably both live in Larkspur Residences where most bluebloods reside, yes?"

Which justified the purpose of why he had blocked a particular girl's path after he had seen her walking away from a dress with a crestfallen look on her face. Perhaps they could make a compromise. "Excuse me. I hope you don't mind me asking but... do you consider yourself good at baking?"

"G-Geez…" Kou struggled to prop himself up with his elbows that were resting on either side of the older Mukami. However, perhaps pulling himself up a bit was a bad idea because the very second he did, he found himself staring right back down at Ruki’s ashen hues— the meager gap between them barely helping with how his heart pounded.

Kou could feel the heat rising up his cheeks as his eyes involuntarily trailed down to the taller male’s lips. All it would take was for him to lean down just a bit. Wasn’t this what they have been waiting for? For someone to make the first move? The blond knew that if he would just lean down and press his lips against his, Ruki would undoubtedly kiss back and perhaps that could finally determine what’s been going on between them.

-- Ruki didn't even have to inquire him concerning the thoughts that were going through his mind. The apprehensive look that came into view upon Kou's aspect was already a dead giveaway and it likewise sent his heart drumming vehemently within his ears. Neither of them moved at all and Ruki found himself holding his breath as he stared back at the blond who was hovering above him. He detected how Kou's scrutiny lingered down to his lips and that sent his heart skipping a beat consequent to realizing what he was about to do.

Ruki wouldn't know how to conduct himself if Kou actually leaned down and kissed him. It was true that he had been bidding his time for that to crop up but now that he was about to chance upon it, all the ideas of a reaction he had prepared in his mind for this exact circumstance were thrown out the window. His mind had gone completely blank and he inwardly cursed his heart for beating too fast for his liking.

Kou didn't move though.

He just stared down at him and in an instant, Ruki perceived the reluctance that clouded his expression. No surprise there. Of course, reluctance was their best friend when it comes to coming across this situation. Kou wasn't going to do anything. That much was obvious. And then they'll live their lives once again, the questions of 'what if's' clouding their minds.

Sigh. Well, it was partially his fault though.

He knew that those senior jocks in his university weren’t worth his time, and despite what they did to his backpack he should have just walked away and reserve his anger for his new punching bag in the apartment.

But the moment they mentioned something about his adoptive siblings… he lost control and the next thing he knew he was standing amongst a crowd of students cheering for him, with the assholes lying on the pathway with blood coming out from every part of their exposed body parts.

He was lucky the university’s chancellor didn’t kick him out—thanks to his father’s reputation, of course.

But now there he was, standing in front of the door that leads to his father’s room with a broom in his right hand. Physically, Yuma was born ready. Mentally…? That’s questionable.

-- "He could easily have his maids do the housework if it wasn't for you and you should know that." Ruki wasn't even part of the brawl when it happened. He had only emerged into the scene when his brother's enemies were nothing but groaning on the floor while Yuma was just glowering at them with bruised knuckles. It was true that the eldest Mukami was expected to look after his brothers but he couldn't do that 24/7!

It wasn't like they were always together. Kou had his idol work. Yuma was always nowhere to be seen and always wanted his space. The only person Ruki had been seriously keeping his eye on was Azusa but even the youngest Mukami was hard to locate these days.

The older of the two frowned.

Rin dugged in his desk and pulled out a paper. He started copying the same problem, but he added one more thing. “There…" He showed the paper to his student.

“Ruki, apparently you forgotten one small thing for these problems." He pointed out the ones he had missed. "You see this was supposed to be there, which is why the calculations went wrong." He tapped the desk a bit.

-- "You're... giving me another chance?"

Why? Wasn't this professor being too nice? At this precise juncture, Ruki should have squandered the fair shake of changing his score but it sounded like the older male felt sorry for him. He felt sorry for him.

Ruki didn't want or need his pity. Even after trotting out his desperation to change his score, he'd rather go with a test that held flaws instead of being pitied by some guy who was idiotic enough to let go of his goal of being like his father.

"Well… yeah…" The blond returned lamely upon the mention of his idol work. He really didn’t want to think about that now.

The past few weeks had been nothing but taxing to him— from the recent ridiculous scandal he had with a guy who was just way too old for him to the constant pestering of his fans, telling him to date another certain famous idol they also seem to be fond of. And next week, he will have another popular idol getting tangled to his fans’ shenanigans. He just hoped she wouldn’t regret agreeing to being the leading lady in his music video.

"…but that’s the least of my worries!" He insisted as he reached to tug Ruki by the hand again in pursuit of leading him to the bed. "I insist that you sleep here, Ruki-kun! You deserve it after a long trip!"

He cocked a brow when the younger Mukami had still insisted for him to sleep in his room and before Ruki could even help himself to the fortuity of talking himself out of it, he was tugged to the bed.

"Kou..." he tried but Kou had just gone on meandering about how he should try the bed. Ruki released a tired sigh and when he was in the midst of taking his brother's hands off of his shoulders, Kou had attempted to make him sit down on the bed. The older of the two had resisted but in return, he felt himself losing his footing; leading him to crash down on the bed...

...and grabbing Kou down along with him out of impulse.

"Ehh?" He blinked when Ruki had just assumed that he will be sleeping on the couch. Why would he sleep on the couch? Obviously he must have had a long tiring trip and he needed a warm bed to get a decent rest! But before the idol could even argue with him, Ruki had gone along talking about purchasing furniture tomorrow followed by a question regarding the number of bedrooms the apartment has.

"Erm…" Kou scratched his head in thought. "Three, I think. I’ve been using the other one as a practice room where I can write my songs and practice my dance moves. You can use the other vacant one! I just stuff all the presents my fans gave me there." After realizing that his mind was drifting off from the first motive in his mind, Kou immediately shook his head before reaching to tug Ruki by the hand— leading him to his bedroom.

That person will always favor those immature children no matter how better he and his brothers were from handling their money to keeping their place in one piece. As soon as he had stepped inside Kou's room, Ruki briefly took a gander of his surroundings; impressed by how the blond had kept it tidy.

That shouldn't be a surprise though. Next to him, Kou was the neat freak among the four of them.

But he couldn't get the hang of why Kou was insisting that he should sleep on the bed. This was his room. The blond owed him nothing. Ruki pulled his hand away from the idol's grip and concluded his heathered-grey eyes on his multi-colored ones.

Huh..?

The teacher stared at the test and then he noticed that the other had made the same mistakes as before. He sets the test down, not even bothering to finish correcting it.

-- "You're kidding me."

He found this far too hard to believe. He could have sworn he understood every part of the lesson. There may be a moment or two where had stumbled on certain parts but he had fleetingly gotten back on his feet in no time. He was so sure that he had aced the test this time.

"No, I'm very sure I understand everything." He insisted, reaching to take the test from the faculty staff then going over it. "...but I... this is..." A look of defeat had materialized on his face at this extent, speechless upon grappling with this certain dilemma.

It was important to her, maybe even to a silly degree, but if she was without it then she just felt kind of empty. Ever since she had received it, she had done nothing but treasure it— it was a symbol of sorts to her and she wasn’t going to let it go. Especially when she heard what he said next.

"Ah, good." The girl peeked her head around the corner to where he was looking inside the chalet and stepped over to where he was. They were one step closer, she supposed, so bending down her fingers brushed against the welcome mat. With a tug, she pulled it aside and from under it saw the glisten of the key which made her smile. Nice to know her bosses had not lied to her when they said it was under here, though it was a pretty cliché place to keep a key of all things.

Kougyoku stood once again, brushing off her skirt for a second then placing the key in the keyhole.  It was an old building and took a few turns to get the rusty lock to make the clicking sound she desired, but when it did she nodded in triumph. Excellent work, if she did say so herself.

"Let's not waste our time then." Even with the dull light his phone feathered for him, he still got hold of the fortuity to be the first one to step into the chalet; narrowing his eyes in attempt to see things clearer.

"I should have brought my frames. I don't think I'd be much help here." How on earth did the pin end up inside here was beyond him. Perhaps the girl can be too hyper for her own good at times which could clearly justify the loss of her treasured possession.

He glanced back over his shoulder to look at his newfound companion.