Blood, Sweat, and Turpentine

Also, this is the first time I remembered to go find his name: Matthew Broussard. I’m not doing any in-depth looking, but a quick peek at his twitter produces bits like:

“As a Jew, I love three things: bagels, summer camp, and being told what is and isn’t anti-Semitic by gentiles.”

“The politicization of climate change is a conspiracy by introverts to avoid small talk about the weather.”

mocking the Tangerine Menace, his sycophants, and racism/sexism/anti-semitism/anti-science/etc in numerous posts

“Nobody knows more about the Dunning-Kruger effect than me.”

“I bet the worst part of hell for Hitler is all the selfies he’s asked to be in.”

“Stand up has allowed me to work with people from a wide array of social, economic, racial and educational backgrounds and also 4 women.”

“Trump fears terrorist immigrants because they’d be stealing a job from white people.”

“Jews secretly sponsored a caravan of Honduran refugees secretly containing murderous Muslims. This is a racist conspiracy turducken.”

“If you think women are too sensitive, try underestimating a man’s height by more than 2 inches.”

rt’ing someone else who named these decades:

1940s - Roland 

1950s - Donny 

1960s - Ricky, also Dicky 

1970s - Charles (Pt 2)/“Chuck" 

1980s - Bradley 

1990s - Jason/“Jase" 

2000s - Charles (Pt 3)/“Chaz”, also “Chase" 

Ladies, listen up.

If you are pregnant, there’s a medication that you absolutely should never take. It’s called misoprostol, sold under the brand name Cytotec in the USA. It’s a medication used to treat ulcers.

This medicine can cause you to lose your pregnancy, especially if you are less than 10 weeks pregnant! So you definitely want to avoid taking this medication. Here is a pdf that will tell you all of the ways you should not take this medication if you are pregnant, and what to do if you accidentally take this medication while pregnant. It can be dangerous! Remember - if you’re having a miscarriage, always seek medical assistance. You may be at risk for hemorrhage or infection. 

While I’m giving out useful advice, ON A COMPLETELY UNRELATED NOTE…

You definitely should never use a website like this one. These websites are illegal. In the US, it is illegal to possess a prescription medication without a prescription, even if was purchased in a country where a prescription is not required. Sometimes, websites like this can even be kind of shady! They can have complex checkout procedures that require you to watch Youtube videos like this one to figure out how to do it. So definitely avoid sites like this.

I’m just gonna burst the bubble on this: Messi is not a rescue. Messi is an exotic pet - and one being managed in a very dangerous, irresponsible way. Period, full stop. 

Messi was one of three cougar cubs born at the Saransk city zoo in Russia, and involved in some sort of soccer fandom event. When it was over, all three cubs were given to the local “contact” zoo, wherever they were in Russia (I still haven’t been able to track down that facility’s name). The owners went to the zoo, saw the cub, and in their own words “decided they had to have him.” After thinking about it for a few days, they went back to the zoo and convinced them to let them purchase the cub. For whatever reason - whether Messi was sickly and they didn’t want to deal with it, as they say, or simply because it was profitable - the zoo sold them this cougar. Exotic pets are common in Russia, and they have to come from somewhere, so I’m really not surprised that a zoo would be willing to sell one of their animals if someone was really willing to pay.  That is not rescue. No matter how they or the media try to frame it, these people literally went “I want one” because cougar cubs are cute, and then followed through on it by buying him. 

There’s a whole bunch more in the IG thread they’ve posted about his history, but I’m not going to bother embedding the screenshots. Basically, it says: he was super sick and needed a lot of medical attention, they made their house nice for him, and then they started taking him to group dog training classes, and he can’t be released because of his health issues. Let’s break that down. 

Yes, it’s imaginable he was really sick when they got him. The images I’ve seen of the cubs when they were first brought in for the promotion show very, very young animals that are no longer with their mother. According to the posts by the owner, Messi has had issues with underdeveloped cartilage, bone density, and other indicatiors of malnutrition; you can see in photos how messed up Messi’s conformation is even now. I genuinely don’t know if the zoo would have kept him alive with those health issues or if they intended to euthanize him, but it’s really important here to note that the zoo was not looking to rehome Messi to someone who would care for him - he was simply lucky that this couple decided they wanted a pet and offered to buy him. 

The way he’s being managed is utterly irresponsible and is setting them up for a tragedy. Yes, they built a lovely indoor setup for him that most domestic housecats would love - but Messi is still a wild animal with  wild instincts, and allowing him to free-roam in a house with people and interact (even on a leash!) with small animals is dangerous. Remember that spreadsheet of all the maulings and deaths caused by pet big cats in the US I’ve got? Cougars are the second-most common species for involvement in incidents. He may be small for a cougar, but he still has claws and teeth and predatory instincts that no amount of “love” can erase. At some point they will kick in, and either a person or another animal will get hurt. 

Yeah, that screenshot looks like a totally positive interaction between Messi and the housecat. Notice there’s small dog that’s running around unrestrained at the bottom right during the interaction. 

My biggest issue with this whole thing is the way they take him out in public. If they want to endanger themselves and their pets, that’s one thing. But what they choose to do with this cat in public is dangerous and irresponsible. It angers me no end that it’s being lauded as super-cute by so many American media outlets when - if you did anything similar with any big cat in the United States - it would either be illegal or you’d be facing some serious problems with regards to public endangerment. I guess it’s cute when it’s in another country that we don’t feel the need to hold responsible for their animal management practices, right?

One, they take this cat out in public all the time. They don’t secure it when driving (good luck not getting mauled if you’re in an accident and the cat is in pain / escapes), they walk it into pet stores like it’s a domestic animal (and just have to hope it doesn’t go after any of the other pets?), and they take him to fucking group dog training classes. In the extended history that I didn’t bother to screenshot all of, they tell basically this story: they couldn’t find anyone who had ever worked with cougar, so they went to this one guy who had worked with a bobcat once, and then they started taking him to group dog training classes after a while. I’m sorry, but are they actively trying to get other people’s pets killed?? Predatory drift is real, and being in a small enclosed space with a lot of other small animals whose behavior is unpredictable is a great way to set that cat up for failure. Everything they’re doing with that cat is just so stupid and irresponsible I can’t even with it. 

Lastly, the claim he can’t go “back to the wild” because of his size is bullshit. That cat can’t be released into the wild because a) cougar are not native to Russia and b) he’s been hand-raised, used for promotional material, tamed, and kept as a housecat. It’s not probable that he even knows how to hunt, and if he was somehow released into the US, he’d turn into a nuisance animal - one that seeks out humans for resources and/or companionship - almost immediately. 

My birth father was always a piece of shit, always stealing from his mother and ditching his kids whenever he could, I got to his part of the will and

And let’s not forget when the villains just switch sides. Last week this guy was on your side now he’s next to Wolverine and kicking your ass.