✨RADIOMIEDO📻

He had been driving for six hours straight, every three hours he would stop in a Gas station, drink some coffee and think about taking a road return to Wyoming, apologize to his ex-father-in-law, beg for Alma to take him back and have a baby boy. Then, he would toss away the paper cup, get in his trashy pick up and keep going forward for another three hours to repeat the cycle, this was until he arrived at Texas.

Ennis parked outside of Mex Postal Services, turned down the machine, opened his backpack, and starting looking for his lamp, lighting up the old sack he took an old book and opened it just in the middle, that's where he cautiously took the Postcard. The same damned Postcard that ruined his life two weeks ago, three days before the wedding with his high-school sweetheart.

The Postcard had an image of Texas city with red bright letters: “Greetings from El Paso, Texas”. Ennis turn it around and there it was, “Hello my friend, congratulations on your wedding day, don’t miss your old pals”. Nothing romantic nor lust, it was just a best wishes lines but… It was from him.

Ennis couldn’t eat, think or walk straight that day, and, as crazy as a twenty-year-old with the world on his hands, he broke up with his girlfriend, took the money earned from Aguirre, and drove 19 hours in the direction of the postcard to, God knows what to happen. It wasn’t very much a thing to do for a man like him but neither was that summer in Brokeback.

Now what. He thought to himself, it was nighttime, he didn’t know where Jack was, he didn’t even know where he was, never got out of Wyoming, that's for sure, and now he was there, looking for a needle in a haystack. He closed his eyes and put his head on the steering wheel, he would sleep there, in the morning he would find Jack or his sanity.

The sound of men chattering in the distance couldn’t let him sleep, they were mocking each other about getting their asses kicked in the rodeo, that last word made Ennis open up his eyes and, with nothing to lose, he followed them.

Ennis arrived at the Upper Valley Rodeo club arena, there was a big carnival going on, music, ladies, and mostly, drunk men. He starting walking, not looking at anybody, his gaze was upon the floor most of the time until he got to the arena where the rodeo was happening. He looked at all of the guys, no one looked like him, no one ever could.

He took a beer and, leaning on the metal bars, watched about five guys broking their arms or legs upon the big bulls. What a bunch of fuck-ups- he muted and continued drinking his beer.

“Let her rip and snort, boys. Jack Twist, hanging on for dear life!”. Ennis let his bottle fall out of his hand when he heard the speakers, he didn’t even flinch at the girl who yelled at him for letting his bottle fell on her feet.

There he was, Jack Twist, same old blue shirt and black hat, riding on a bull in front of him, Jack’s charm shining in the spotlight. One, two three, failed down and the clowns getting there to help him. Ennis saw when he stood up, swore some words, and left the arena; Ennis could feel his stomach sick, his hands getting sweaty and his mouth clench with doubt.

He walked fast around the arena, stumbling with animals, guys, girls, and everything that came in his way, he didn’t even want to fight back when a guy cursed him for making so much trouble.

Ennis saw him, the only blue spot in the middle of the clowns in red, wide back, big bright smile and a beer on his hand, he was chatting, laughing, flirting?. He got him so close yet he felt so far away. What if he didn’t want to see him? the postcard didn't say so. What if Jack thought of him as a creep for driving a whole damn day and a half on a highway just to say hi?. What if he already got a girlfriend? or worse, someone who had replaced him?. They weren’t in love anyway, weren’t they?.

This was the worst idea he ever had. Ennis, like the coward he always was, turned around and starting walking away. He wasn’t even gonna wait for tomorrow, he would be up in his truck and go right away to Wyoming, leave this stupid idea behind…

—Ennis?

Ennis turns around shyly at the voice calling him.

—I, um.

Just as a car hits a wall at a full speed, Jack ran into him, hugging him for dear life, in the middle of a sea of people. No one noticed them, the people staring thought of them as may be brothers or long time not see kind of friends.

They ran away in Ennis’ truck, gotten to a nowhere railroad to Nuevo Mexico, and, as soon as they lost the view of other cars, their hands and mouths loosed control. It was magnetism, pure magic. At First, it was raw and fast but not aggressive, it’s just they couldn’t wait for that feeling again, the feeling that Ennis knew wouldn’t have with Alma and the feeling that Jack never felt with any other rancher or clown.

Pablo | he is the main character of my Graphic Novel "Yolanda".