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We’re taught to behave more neurotypical, to overcome traits that make autism “noticeable”.

Why? Is it because they’re bad or something?

Generally, that’s not the reason. Usually, it’s just because it’s not deemed “normal” by society, or it doesn’t fit in with society’s “rules”, and that makes people uncomfortable. Stimming? That’s apparently not normal! Special interests? “You need to have a wider range of interests!” Struggle with eye contact? That apparently makes us rude!

Even mentioning autism on a job application can be risky. If it’s read by an employer who has an ableist or uneducated view on autism, that’s likely not going to end well. But if we don’t mention it, we risk lack of understanding on the job (sometimes we can mention it and still risk lack of understanding on the job).

CW: Badly made pie charts VENN DIAGRAMS yes I know I said the wrong thing.

I felt like making a simple guide to symptom commonalities between these three, because there are a lot and it seems like something that confuses a lot of people. As always, your mileage may vary; just because you have one diagnosis doesn’t mean you can’t have traits that aren’t associated with it, you don’t have to (and probably will not) have every trait of your disorder(s), and dyspraxia, ADHD, and autism can all present in a number of different ways.

I managed to make this in like five minutes because Concerta is Magic.

Emergencies really do crop up more often for poor people. Necessities, like vacuum cleaners or phones or bedding or shoes, need replacement or repair more often when you only buy the cheapest possible option.

Poor people’s health tends to be compromised by cheap, unhealthy food; stress; being around lots of similarly-poor contagious sick people who can’t afford to stay home or get treatment; inadequate healthcare; and often, hazardous and/or demanding work conditions.

So we get sick more. On top of that, many people are poor specifically because of disability. All of that is expensive - even if you just allow your health to deteriorate, eventually you can’t work, which is - say it with me - expensive.

When you’re poor, even the cheapest (most temporary) solution for an emergency often breaks the bank. Unexpected expenses can be devastating. People who aren’t poor don’t realize that an urgent expense of thirty dollars can mean not eating for a week. Poor people who try to save find our savings slipping away as emergency after emergency happens.

I don’t think people who’ve never been poor realise what it’s like. It’s not that we’re terrible at budgeting, it’s that even the most perfect budget breaks under the weight of the basic maths: we do not have enough resources.

So it’s no wonder the well off people of the world don’t get it when a low income person is stressed over something breaking or a minor illness. I know people for whom a crashed car - as long as no one was hurt - would just be ‘damn it I liked that car and now I gotta borrow my wife’s’ and I know people for whom it would be ‘I can’t afford to have this fixed but I can’t get to work if I don’t get it fixed and I can’t get it fixed if I don’t go to work hahhaha time to indebt myself to family members who I desperately wish I didn’t even have to interact with because they’re the only ones who can give me rides or loan me money.’

Being poor is isolating as all shit, and you have very little power to choose who you do and don’t interact with. Quite often, in the midst of all these emergencies, the only people who’ll offer a hand up are abusers or toxic friends, and their help will carry invisible conditions, or be contingent on you never speaking up or “acting out” against mistreatment. And where are there any other options, what can you afford to do about it?

Sometimes even good friendships can turn sour and toxic if there’s a major difference in wealth between two or more people. As the poorer friend needs help more and more often and options shrink under the expense of being poor, it becomes scarier and scarier to speak up on the occasions when your better-off friend who helps you out inevitably fucks up and hurts you, like friends do.

Listen to autistic people.

Don’t support Autism Speaks. Don’t ‘Light it Up Blue’ this April. Go red instead and support autistic people and our voices.

[ Image Description: A picture with a red background and a rainbow coloured neurodiversity ‘infinity’ symbol in the middle. In front of the neurodiversity symbol is a drawing of an autistic person stimming. 

They are wearing red headphones, a red pendant chew necklace, and a grey hoodie. A red tangle is poking out of the hoodie pocket. They are smiling with their eyes closed and stimming by flapping their hands. 

On the top of the picture, above the symbol, it says in capital letters “Listen to autistic people”. Below the symbol, at the bottom of the picture, it says “#REDinstead for Autism Acceptance”.] 

This is version 2. Version 1 of this picture with just the symbol and no person can be found here: version 1 link

きみはペット（Tramps Like Us） paro

If you’re caring for a nonverbal autistic person who needs lots of daily help and can’t make their communications understood, please don’t assume malice out of them when they get aggressive.

They may use aggression to communicate if that’s the only behavior you respond to. They could be saying something hurts. They could be trying to attain some level of autonomy. They could be alerting you to a sensory issue.

But if you only focus on the behavior and not what is driving it, it will continue. It may even escalate. 

Think of it like this: If you speak quietly to someone who doesn’t acknowledge you, you start to talk louder. If that doesn’t work you take it up a notch to shouting. Finally, you scream at them.

Aggression is the behavioral scream. It may come from an autistic person who feels unheard. They don’t want to hurt you. It’s possible they may not realize other people feel pain in a different way than they do. 

If they’re scratching you because a tag in a shirt makes their whole body hurt, they could think the scratchy sensation makes your whole body hurt too. They’re trying to tell you “help me”.

It’s so hard to not see malice if this behavior keeps happening. Please pay attention to the autistic person’s behavior when they’re calmer. They may have a pattern of escalation, even if it’s only two seconds before the aggression happens.