failed for life

[TRANSCRIPT]

“Whole lot of silence from the “flipping burgers & stocking shelves aren’t real jobs” crowd these days.”

Alternatives for when you’re feeling angry or restless:

Scribble on photos of people in magazines

Viciously stab an orange

Throw an apple/pair of socks against the wall

Have a pillow fight with the wall

Scream very loudly

Tear apart newspapers, photos, or magazines

Go to the gym, dance, exercise

Listen to music and sing along loudly

Draw a picture of what is making you angry

Beat up a stuffed animal

Pop bubble wrap

Pop balloons

Splatter paint

Scribble on a piece of paper until the whole page is black

Filling a piece of paper with drawing cross hatches

Throw darts at a dartboard

Go for a run

Write your feelings on paper then rip it up

Use stress relievers

Build a fort of pillows and then destroy it

Throw ice cubes at the bathtub wall, at a tree, etc.

Get out a fine tooth comb and vigorously brush the fur of a stuffed animal (but use gentle vigor)

Slash an empty plastic soda bottle or a piece of heavy cardboard or an old short or sock

Make a soft cloth doll to represent the things you are angry at; cut and tear it instead of yourself

Flatten aluminum cans for recycling, seeing how fast you can go

On a sketch or photo of yourself, mark in red ink what you want to do. Cut and tear the picture

Break sticks

Cut up fruits

Make yourself as comfortable as possible

Stomp around in heavy shoes

Play handball or tennis

Yell at what you are breaking and tell it why you are angry, hurt, upset, etc.

Buy a cheap plate and decorate it with markers, stickers, cut outs from magazines, words, images, what ever that expresses your pain and sadness and when you’re done, smash it. (Please be careful when doing it)

Alternatives that will give you a sensation (other than pain) without harming yourself:

Hold ice in your hands, against your arm, or on your mouth

Run your hands under freezing cold water

Snap a rubber band or hair band against your wrist

Drip hot candle wax on your skin (please be careful doing this)

Clap your hands until it sting

Wax your legs

Drink freezing cold water

Splash your face with cold water

Put PVA/Elmer’s glue on your hands then peel it off

Massage where you want to hurt yourself

Take a hot shower/bath

Draw in red ink lines where you want to self harm

Take a hot or cold shower/bath

Jump up and down to get some sensation in your feet

Write or paint on yourself

Arm wrestle with someone

Bite into a hot pepper or chew a piece of ginger root

Rub liniment under your nose

Rub lotion on yourself

Put tiger balm on the place(s) you want to cut. (Tiger balm is a muscle relaxant cream that induces a tingly sensation. You can find it in most health food stores and vitamin stores).

Alternatives that will distract you or take up time:

Say “I’ll self-harm in fifteen minutes if I still want to” and keep going for periods of fifteen minutes until the urge fades

Colour your hair

Count up to ten getting louder until you’re screaming

Sing on the karaoke machine

Complete something you’ve been putting off

Take up a new hobby

Make a cup of tea

Tell and laugh at jokes

Play solitaire

Count up to 500 or 1000

Surf the net

Make as many words out of your full name as possible

Count ceiling tiles or lights

Search ridiculous things on the web

Colour coordinate your wardrobe 

Play with toys, such as a slinky or play-doh

Go to the park and play on the swings or jungle gym

Call someone

Go “people watching”

Carry safe, rather than sharp, things in your pockets

Do school work

Play a musical instrument 

Watch tv or a movie

Paint your nails

Alphabetize your CDs or books or movies

Cook

Make origami to occupy your hands

Doodle on sheets of people

Dress up or try on clothes

Play computer games or painting programs, such as photoshop 

Write out lyrics to your favourite song

Play a sport

Read a book/magazine

Do a crossword 

Draw a comic strip

Make a chain link out of paper counting the hours or days you’ve been self-harm free using pretty coloured paper

Knit, sew, or make a necklace

Make ‘scoobies’ - braid pieces of plastic or lace, to keep your hands busy

Buy a plant and take care of it

Hunt for things on eBay or Amazon

Browse for forums

Go shopping

Memorize a poem with meaning

Learn to swear in another language

Look up words in a dictionary

Play hide-and-seek

Go outside and watch the clouds 

Plan a party

Find out if any concerts will be in your area

Make your own dance routine 

Trace your hand on a piece of paper; on your thumb, write something you like to look at; on your index finger, write something you like to touch; on your middle finger, write your favourite scent; on your ring finger, write something you like the taste of; on your pinky finger, write something you like to listen to; on your palm, write something you like about yourself

Plan regular activities for your most difficult time of day

Finish homework before it’s due 

Take a break from mental processing

Notice black and white thinking

Get out on your own, get away from the stress

Go on YouTube 

Make a scrapbook

Colour in a picture or colouring book

Make a phone list of people you can call for support allow yourself to use it

Pay attention to your breathing (breathe slowly, in through your nose, and out your mouth)

Pay attention to the rhythmic motions of your body (walking, stretching, etc.)

Learn HALT signals (hungry, angry, lonely, tired)

Choose a random object, like a paper clip, and try to list 30 different uses for it

Pick a subject and research it on the web - alternatively, pick something to research and then keep clicking on links, trying to get as far away from the original topic as you can

Take a small step towards a goal you have

Alternatives that are completely bizarre, at least you’ll have a laugh:

Crawl on all fours and bark like a dog or another animal

Run around outside screaming

Laugh for no reason whatsoever

Make funny faces in a mirror

Without turning orange, self-tan

Pluck your eyebrows

Put faces on apples, oranges, or other sorts of food

Go to the zoo and name all of the animals

Colour on the walls

Blow bubbles

Pull weeds in the garden  

Alternatives for when you’re feeling guilty, sad, or lonely: 

Congratulate yourself on each minute you go without self-harming 

Draw or paint 

Look at the sky Instead of punishing yourself by self-harming, punish yourself by not self-harming 

Call a friend and ask for company 

But a cuddly toy 

Give someone a hug with a smile 

Put a face mask on 

Watch a favourite TV show or movie 

Eat something ridiculously sweet 

Remember a happy moment and relive it for a while in your head 

Treat yourself to some chocolate 

Try to imagine the future and plan things you want to do 

Look at things that are special to you 

Compliment someone else 

Make sculptures 

Watch fish 

Play with a pet 

Have or give a massage 

Imagine yourself living in a perfect home and describe it in your mind If you’re religious, read the bible or pray 

Light a candle and watch the flame (be careful) 

Go chat in the chat room 

Let yourself to cry; crying is a healthy release of emotion 

Accept a gift from a friend 

Carry tokens to remind you of peaceful comforting things/people 

Take a hot bath with bath oil or bubbles 

Curl up under a comforter with hot cocoa and a good book 

Make affirmation tapes inside you that are good, kind, gentle (sometimes you can do this by writing down the negative thoughts and then physically re-writing them into positive messages) 

Make a tray of special treats and tuck yourself into bed with it and watch tv or read 

 Alternatives for when you’re feeling panicky or scared: 

“See, hear, and feel” - 5 things, then 4, then 3, and countdown to one which will make you focus on your surroundings and sill calm you down 

Listen to soothing music; have a CD with motivational songs that you can listen to 

Meditate or do yoga 

Name all your soft toys Hyper focus on something 

Do a “reality check list” - write down all the things you can list about where you are now (i.e It is the 9th of November 2015, I’m in a room and everything is going to be alright) With permission, give someone a hug 

Drink herbal tea 

Crunch ice 

Hug a tree 

Go for a walk if it’s safe to do so 

Feel your pulse to prove you’re alive 

Go outside and attempt to catch butterflies or lizards 

Put your feet firmly on the floor 

Accept where you are in the process. 

Beating yourself up only makes it worse 

Touch something familiar/safe 

Leave the room 4/7/8 breathing - breathe in for 4 seconds, hold for 7 seconds, and breathe out for 8 seconds. 

Repeat until you feel calm. 

Alternatives that will hopefully make you think twice about harming yourself: 

Think about how you don’t want scars 

 Treat yourself nicely 

Remember that you don’t have to hurt yourself just because you’re thinking about self-harm 

Create a safe place to go 

Acknowledge that self-harm is harmful behaviour 

Repeat to yourself “I don’t deserve to be hurt” even if you don’t believe it 

Remember that you always have the choice not to cut: it’s up to you what to do 

Think about how you may feel guilty after self-harming 

Remind yourself that the urge to self-harm is impulsive: you will only feel like cutting for short bursts of time 

Avoid temptation 

Get your friends to make you friendship bracelets; wear them around your wrists to remind you of them when you want to cut 

Be with other people 

Make your own list of things to do instead of self-harm 

Make a list of your positive character traits 

Be nice to your family, who in return, will hopefully be nice to you 

Put a band-aid on the area where you’d like to self-harm 

Recognize and acknowledge the choices you have NOW 

Pay attention to the changes needed to make you feel safe 

 Notice “choices” vs “dilemmas" 

Lose the “should-could-have to” words. Try “what if" 

Kiss the places you want to SH or kiss the places you have healing wounds. It can be a reminder that you care about yourself and that you don’t want this 

Choose your way of thinking, try to resist following old thinking patterns 

The Butterfly project - draw a butterfly on the place(s) that you would self-harm and if the butterfly fades without self-harming, it means it has lived and flown away, giving a sense of achievement. Whereas if you do self-harm with the butterfly there; you will have to wash it off, therefore “killing it”. You can start again by drawing a new one on. You can name the butterfly after someone you love. 

Write the name of a loved one [a friend, family member, or anyone else who cares about you] and write their name where you want to self-harm. When you go to self-harm remember how much they care and wouldn’t want you to harm yourself. 

Think about what you would say to a friend who was struggling with the same things you are and try to be a good friend to yourself. 

Make a bracelet out of duct tape, and put a line on it ever day (or ant period of time) you go without self-harm. When it’s full of lines, take it off and make a chain out of all the bracelets and hang it up somewhere where you can be reminded of your great progress 

Alternatives that give the illusion of seeing something similar to blood:

Draw on yourself with a red pen or body paint 

Cover yourself with plasters where you want to cut 

Give yourself a henna or fake tattoo 

Make “wounds” with makeup, like lipstick 

Take a small bottle of liquid red food colouring and warm it slightly by dripping it into a cup of hot water for a few minutes. Uncap the bottle and press it’s tip against the place you want to cut. Draw the bottle in a cutting motion while squeezing it slightly to let the food colour trickle out. 

Draw on the areas you want to cut using ice that you’ve made my dropping six or seven drops of red food colour into each of the ice cube tray wells 

Paint yourself with red tempera paint 

‘Cut’ your skin with nail polish (it feels cold but it’s hard to get off) 

Alternatives to help you sort through your feelings: 

Phone a friend and talk to them 

Make a collage of how you feel 

Negotiate with yourself 

Identify what if hurting you do bad that you need to express it in this way Write your feelings in a diary 

Free write (write down whatever you’re thinking at the moment, even if it doesn’t make sense) 

Make lists of everything, such as blessings, in your life 

Make a notebook of song lyrics that you can relate to 

Call a hotline 

Write a letter to someone telling them how you feel (but don’t send it if you decide not to) 

Start a grateful journal where everyday you write down three: good things that happened/things that you accomplished/are grateful for/made you smile. 

Make sure the journal is strictly for positive things. Then when you feel down, you can go back and look at it.

Hotlines:

Suicide Hotlines Worldwide

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines UK

Suicide (and other support) Hotlines USA

Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA)

Child Sexual Abuse & Domestic Violence Hotlines (USA

More:

Feeling Sad? - Masterpost of Links/Websites/Games to visit when feeling sad

100 Reasons NOT to Commit Suicide

A spell contained within a spray to help ease the stress during this holiday season. 

Ingredients:

Distilled water

Lavender oil (peace)

Orange oil (happiness)

Lemon oil (cleansing)

Spray bottle

Instructions:

Combine the water and oils together in the spray bottle

Allow to charge under the waning moon this evening (intent: to banish stress and negative energy)