۫ 𝓱𝓮𝓪𝓽𝓱𝓬𝓵𝓲𝓯𝓯𝓼_𝓷𝓲𝓰𝓱

˗ˏˋ кэти_из_дурки ˎˊ˗

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Уволилась с должности «терпилы года». Теперь работаю исключительно над собой. Платят плохо, кормят редко. Кредиты, коты и когнитивные искажения — мой стандартный набор выживания. Пытаюсь разрулить этот пиздец, восстановиться и не потерять рассудок в процессе. ☁️✨

Officially resigned from my position as the "doormat of the year". Currently self-employed in the field of self-recovery. The pay is terrible, the meals are rare. Loans, cats, and cognitive distortions are my daily essentials. Just trying to navigate through this mess, reboot my system, and keep my sanity intact. ☁️✨

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˗ˏˋ 𝔀𝓱𝓸_𝓲𝓼_𝓼𝓱𝓮 ? / кто она ? ˎˊ˗

✦ status – currently in a psych ward somewhere in the Baltics / лежу в лечебнице для душевнобольных где-то в Прибалтике.

✦ story – 9-year relationship & engagement ended. it hurts, but i’m breathing / 9 лет отношений и помолвка — в прошлом. больно, но я дышу

✦ health – depression & bpd (recently diagnosed, long-term vibes) / депрессия и ПРЛ в комплекте. диагнозы свежие, проблемы старые.

✦ skills – dancing like Commander Shepard & drawing with "hands in the wrong place" (but i’m trying!) / танцую как Шепард из Mass Effect и рисую руками из жопы, но очень стараюсь.

✦ hoarding – monster high g3, funko pops & plushies / коллекционирую кукол, фанко и плюшевых зверей, а так же другую милую мелочевку.

✦ interests comics, photography & honest shitposting / комиксы, фотография и щитпостинг.

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˗ˏˋ 𝓳𝓸𝓲𝓷_𝓶𝔂_𝓬𝓸𝓿𝓮 ˎˊ˗

if you like art therapy, doll unboxings, and honest recovery diaries, you’re in the right place.

если тебе близки арт-терапия, распаковки кукол и честные дневники восстановления — заходи.

P.S. For those who don't have Telegram — I’ll be posting here as well. Maybe not as frequently or so in-depth, but I’ll do my best. Let’s see how it goes.

I was that person. I'd be happy to explore the object of your interest and hyperfixation. I'll search for art of your favorite character on hard-to-find resources. I'll stay up all night waiting for the game update for you, because you're so eager for a new character. I remember you briefly mentioned something in a conversation—I'd be happy to surprise you with it! I'm so happy to hear that you like it all and that you appreciate me. But I'd like you to give me at least a little attention, since you claim we're friends. Wait... what do you mean, "I don't have time for you"?

What do you mean, "I didn't need all this attention from you"?

Some might think this post is about personal pain. And it is. But every time I hear, "Oh! How I wish someone would take care of me!" I can't help but wonder: does this person even know that this requires reciprocity? Not out of a sense of "should" or "ought," but because you truly want it?

Of course, every person on earth deserves love by birthright. Some argue, "You don't really have the right to ask for anything in return! You should give attention, love, and care freely!" But this is a MUTUAL relationship. It's about MUTUAL exchange. It's not filling someone else's glass half-empty when your own is full, but exchanging with someone who is just as full.

So I'll ask this question again.

Are you willing to show the same level of attention and care in return?

If you say, "I'm looking for a partner," you'll hear, "At your age, it's too late."

If you say you're happy living alone, they'll say, "You're just pretending."

If you complain that it's hard being alone, you'll hear, "Well, I told you so."

In other words, no matter what you say or what choice you make, there will always be people who will say something. When you lack confidence, these words begin to seem like the truth. But other people aren't responsible for your life. And they'll likely even forget what they said.

I used to take all this to heart. Now, almost never.

When you're insecure, other people's words sound like the right answer. No matter how much you think for yourself, one remark from someone else can seriously shake you. But that doesn't mean you lack an inner core. Rather, you simply haven't fully decided yet. If you think, "Maybe this is really it," it means you're still searching.

And it's precisely at moments like these that other people's words easily penetrate.

In reality, it's much simpler:

Do you like it?

Does it make you feel bad?

Do you agree with it?

That's enough. If these three points come together, other people's words are perceived something like this:

"Ah, I see, this person thinks that."

And then, "That's not about me."

And it becomes surprisingly easy to not care.

Because it's not someone else who will be living with this choice and bearing responsibility for it—it's you.

If you react to every word, it will never end. Even if it's family, friends, or colleagues, you have the right to ignore words that leave a bad taste.

@holyn42

Пиши, буду рад пообщаться

попыталась ответить/написать в тг, а мне пишет ошибку, потому что в контакты не добавлены.. мой тг: