pinch pinch nyan nyan

Araragi: Why not?

Senjougahara: Because, uh, Hanekawa's naked!

Hanekawa: What?

Senjougahara: Well I couldn't tell him I was naked, he's allowed to see me naked.

Kanbaru: Uhh... Alarm didn't go off!

Araragi: All three alarms? All with battery backup? Come on! Who wants to take this seriously?

Oikura: Ooh! She was killed in her sleep!

Araragi: That's what I'm talking about! Super dark, Oikura, but more plausible than Kanbaru's idiotic alarm clock theory.

Sengoku: I bet she tucked herself in the bed too tight and got stuck.

Ougi: Maybe she fell into another dimension where she's not boring.

Senjougahara: It's 9am. Why is no one working?

Araragi: Hanekawa's a few minutes late and we're all trying to guess why.

Senjougahara: I'd like to play. I'd say she's... in line at the bank. This is fun.

Araragi: It is fun, but you're all wrong! She's clearly slipped through a subway grade and is having TERRIBLE sex with an oddity.

*Hanekawa walks in*

Araragi: There she is! Hanekawa! Where have you been? We have been WORRIED SICK! Do you care to explain yourself?!

Hanekawa: I'm just 70 seconds late. It's not a big deal.

Senjougahara: Hanekawa, you will tell us and you will tell us now.

Hanekawa: There was a problem at the bank...