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@incorrectmonogatari
Senjougahara: Can I vent to you? Araragi: Always. Senjougahara: But as a friend not as my boyfriend. Araragi: Yes. Call me girlfriend. Hehe. Senjougahra: Okay, listen girlfriend. Araragi: I'm listening girl. Araragi: Men ain't shit.
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Shinobu: These donuts got me feeling gay as fuck. Araragi: Shinobu, I told you, people don't use 'gay' as 'happy' anymore. That's not how it's used. Shinobu: My bad. Shinobu: These donuts got me feeling bisexual as fuck. Araragi: Shinobu, no! Shinobu: What am I supposed to say if I like donuts?!
Kaiki: When have I ever given you reason not to trust me? Senjougahara: Would you like the list alphabetically or chronologically?
Koyomi: I heard you were talking shit about me?
Oikura: do you wanna hear it again or did you get everything?
Hanekawa: I can't sleep. Can you read this book for me?
Senjougahara: Of course.
Senjougahara: β¦
Senjougahara: β¦
Hankawa: Read it out loud, please.
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Senjougahara: My blood test came back.
Hanekawa: What are the results?
Senjougahara: It's positive. I have blood.
Senjougahara (wearing Hanekawa's glasses): How do I look?
Hanekawa: I have no idea
Senjougahara: get a boyfriend Oikura
Araragi: or a girlfriend! she's bi
Senjougahara: damn nobody want u fr ππ
Araragi: i'm saying like ππ
Perhaps that is a part of our difficulty. Words are all we've been using. Humans seem to take much stronger notice of actions... I need a gun.
Ononoki
Kissshot: My life is in the hands of an idiot. Araragi: No, nononono. Two idiots.
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Kanbaru: You said that if you were ever going to do same-sex experimentation it was going to be with me. Senjougahara: I have never said that to you. Kanbaru: It's been implied. Senjougahara: By you.
Hanekawa, thinking: I know you can read my thoughts, Araragi. Just a little reminder; if I find out you cut class, your ass is mine. Yes, you heard me. I think words I would never say. Kanbaru, thinking: I know you can read my thoughts, Araragi-senpai. *Singing* Meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow meow.
Araragi: Look, I-Iβve lost a lot of blood.
Araragi: I meanβ¦
Araragi: I know where the blood is, butβ
Sengoku: What did I ever do to you? Sejougahara: You tried to kill me and destroy this entire town. Sengoku: Apart from that?
Oshino: Hey Kagenui, have you ever been mistaken for a man? Kagenui: No, have you?
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Hanekawa: They're overriding the mainframe. Kanbaru: In Japanese, four-eyes. Hanekawa: They're fuckin' our pussies! Kanbaru: Now you're speaking my language.
Kanbaru: Get the fuck out with this "gays cant drive" and "gays cant cook" shit. I do BOTH. Don't be disrespectful.
Araragi: But can you do math?
Kanbaru: Don't. Don't do this to me.