livet er nå

the internet is a breeding ground for predators. it’s a platform that allows its users to put forward whatever version of themselves they want, and that makes it dangerous. 

we want to trust the people that we see on screens because we think we know them. we spend hundreds of hours (especially when it comes to rtah) watching their content, and it’s easy to become disillusioned to believe that means we know what they’re like irl. it doesn’t. 

ryan haywood abused his Good Guy/Dorky Dad persona to manipulate emotionally vulnerable fans into sexual situations, some of whom were minors. he used the fact that many of us trusted him to have good intentions to get people into situations they otherwise may not have been comfortable with. and that’s fucking disguising. 

i was one of the people who loved the fuck out of him when i was actively involved in the fandom, which you can very easily see if you go far enough back on my tumblr. him and ray were my favourite members by far, and when i went to rtx back in 2014 they were the two i wanted to meet most (i met neither  l o l). i spent hours watching ryan’s streams and finding comfort in them as a college freshman alone in my dorm in a different country and with no friends. i felt comforted by his content.

now i feel fucking sick to my stomach at the thought of him. 

the truth of the matter is this sort of thing happens way too often. conventionally attractive men with internet followings of predominantly young girls are using their platforms to take advantage of people they think won’t have the guts to say anything about it. we saw it ten years ago with the Great British YouTuber Scandal (tom milsom, alex day, eggplant), and I don’t doubt we will see it again. 

it’s so, so important to remember that these people that we watch and love and look up to are strangers. we don’t and won’t ever really know what they’re like when the cameras are off, but they groom their audiences to blindly trust them. that’s so fucked and i wish there was more that we could be doing about it, but i just... don’t really know what that would be. 

just remember to be careful when you’re interacting with influencers--especially those you publicly look up to. there is no reason they should ever ask you to do something that makes you uncomfortable. don’t let them abuse the platforms that we give them. 

and, most importantly: when a victim steps forward, FUCKING LISTEN TO THEM. it doesn’t matter if they’re talking about your ~~uwu cinnamon roll fav~~. victims should not have to choose between telling the truth and getting attacked by hundreds of angry fangirls or keeping quiet about the situations they are being placed in. be sympathetic. listen. acknowledge that you don’t really know the person that you’re idolizing. 

and finally to my rtah family, whether you watch their videos every day, or you’ve been out of the fandom for ages like me: i’m here for you. 

i know how shitty it feels to realize that someone you trusted has done something like this. your feelings of hurt are no less valid just because it’s an internet personality. a lot of us grew up watching these people when we were at our most vulnerable. their videos were there to cheer us up when we were at our lowest and i know that it fucking sucks to have those memories tainted by this. 

you were not wrong to love and support ryan. he had a very convincing persona that he put forth on the internet (bedtime stories at the end of his streams, anyone? laying it on a little thick maybe), and he had even those who do know him irl and see him every single day, fooled. he’s literal human garbage for what he did, but don’t let yourself feel bad for things that you couldn’t have known were happening.