new boot goofin'

this website peaked on January 29 2015 

What happened

the funniest hp lovecraft story is the one where some guy’s family offended an evil wizard who then cursed his entire family saying that all the men would die before they hit like 30. the protagonist is going crazy trying to find a spell to break the curse and then the big reveal was that the wizard was literally just breaking into their house and killing them himself. 

This is missing my favorite detail, namely that the evil wizard is named ‘Charles Le Sorcerer’.

CHUCK WIZARDS CURSE OF SHOOT YOU IN THE FACE

wine drunk is the best drunk. makes u horny & intellectual. a lust-filled academic

the old man lana is singing about in all her songs is bernie sanders

I gotta delete my blog for good

You ever think about the kind of guy who makes a cursed amulet? Like, “ooh hoo hoo, whoever puts this on is gonna have a nasty surprise!” Get a real hobby.

...i dont thing I’ve ever seen this style with people smiling...

howls freaking castle

THE POPE OF CUM, AKA THE CUM POPE

“THIS POPE SHOOTS ROPE!”

I don’t think enough retellings of the Cain and Abel story make note of the fact that nobody had ever been killed or even died before when it happened. Cain had no idea beating his brother to death could possibly be a bad thing

Cain really did fuck around and find out

👀👀 not gonna name names but SOME of u are sweet and kind and deserve the world and i am rooting for u

when welcome to night vale said: “Sleep heavily and know that I am here with you. The past is gone, and cannot harm you anymore. And while the future is fast coming for you, it always flinches first, and settles in as the gentle present. This now, this us, we can cope with that. We can do this together you and I.”