Would Rather Be In Space

Old Macd*nald had a farm.  

Teens are expected to try to be sexy largely because we live in a paedophilic rape culture that sees their peak of sexual attractiveness as literally the youngest age an adult can legally have sex with them - sometimes younger. This incredible pressure to be sexy, and to engage sexually, at a time when most kids are still developing a very basic understanding of their own sexual desires and boundaries is incredibly damaging.

The same way an eight year old trying on a parents’ heels is generally understood to not be an invitation, in a non rape culture teenagers could experiement with trying to attract each other in total safety.

In a non rape culture, they could have crushes on adults and occasionally even flirt inappropriately and be safe from everything but the embarrassment of someone gently explaining that while it’s normal to have crushes on adults while you’re figuring out what you find appealing, acting on those crushes is inappropriate and it’s important to stick to one’s own peer group for romantic and sexual experimentation.

Wearing makeup that looks like the way grownups do their makeup isn’t in itself inherently damaging. Ironically, it’s literally that same fucking victim blaming that misguided feminists employ in an attempt to somehow shame these girls into safety that is the danger.

Adults who prey on teenagers don’t do it because of their makeup or outfits. They do it because teenagers are inexperienced and lack autonomy and can be manipulated and abused, AND because we let them. Because society will see a teenager who styles themself a certain way or has a certain body type and tacitly agree that THIS child isn’t worthy of protection, that THIS person is okay to victimize because they’re “asking for it”.

In a society that didn’t have this deep and seeping poison of rape culture and paedophilia culture, in a society untainted by the fetishization of vulnerability and youth, teenagers could wear whatever they wanted and still be safe from harm.

When I see a 17 year old who has styled herself like an adult woman, I do not feel attracted to her, because even if her exact age is unclear, that is still clearly someone way, way younger than me and so she’s already categorically uninteresting to me in a sexual or romantic way.

I don’t need to know for sure exactly where she is in relation to the legal age of consent to know she’s not my peer, to know she’s young enough that I would have a dangerous power advantage over her. And because I am not interested in abusing someone, that is unattractive to me. Vulnerability to control just isn’t an exciting trait to someone who’s interested in healthy romantic and/or sexual interactions.

Grown adults who pursue people in a much more vulnerable stage of life aren’t generally doing it by accident. If you’re 25 and you’re going after a 16 year old, honestly you’re still a predator if you thought they were 18. You just thought you could take advantage of their vulnerability with no chance of legal consequences.

And like as adults it really is on us to make sure we have an accurate understanding of someone’s age before we pursue something sexual or romantic with them. The whole problem with getting with a minor is that they don’t have the same power or understanding that we have, and it’s on us to not hurt them even if they believe they can handle it.