If he has only ever said, “It’s not A War!” can’t we technically just literally turn our fleet around and go home?* Zero negotiations. What’s to negotiate? If we just leave? We’re not at war with them. Zero input from Iran in any way. Even if we never buy oil from Iran again, everybody else will. Let the world economy begin to rebound and the trickle down reinvigorate our economy.
Bonus: Once again, the stock market would boom overnight. We’re monitoring his bank accounts, right? Somebody’s still monitoring his stock trading activity, right? Or his real estate transactions for stuff like military-outpost-island-buying. With the taxpayer-money-laundering they used to buy it.
Trump: “We weren’t at war anyway, this War in Iran, you know. She knows,” pointing at lady with lips and legs. “Look at her, no just take a, will you look at that? Beautiful woman. You’re a beautiful woman, really beautiful. That guy over there in the baseball hat, he knows. Everybody knows we’re the hottest. You know we’re the hottest country in the world, of all time, I did that. And you, Mr. MAGA Hat Great American Patriot, that guy knows it too. I did that. Despite Congress, you can’t trust ‘em, you just never can, you know. He knows,” pointing again. “Biden knows. Biden, you know. I ended all his wars. All of them. He left them all to me to wrap up. He did that! Who does that! Greatest era of peace under me. All of it. Mine. And fifteen other wars. And the lowest what’s it called, the math. The math is there, you know. It’s all there. But we solved it. We won! So why is everybody aren’t they bored with it by now? They should be over it by now. It just doesn’t make sense to me, there’s nothing there, why they keep calling it a war. We already won! Our economy! Look at the econ- they’re very stupid people, very stupid people very low IQ people calling it a war. They should be ashamed of thinking we weren’t at war. Or we were, but we were never at war. I never called it that! I never took it to Congress. You know that’s what you do. They want you to do that, if you want to start a war. I don’t ask for permission. I don’t do that. That’s not me. So why does everybody- you know everybody’s talking about it. They want me to sign something. My signature, you’ve seen it,” pointing at someone. “It’s nice! It’s nice right? Real good signature. I have to do it a lot. You know, they do, they want me to sign an order or something. So they really, and the dems- the dems, you know, the democrats. Terrible people terrible terrible people. Fake news, you know. If they want facts, why are they calling it a war? Very low IQ people.”
Can we use their own handiwork against them by saying, we were never formally at war with the Iranians so why is there a need to sign an agreement. Why is there a formal need to agree, like, at all.
Let the rest of the world at least have their oil, and we’ll go get it from somebody else from now on.
Wait, is that only Russia?
*gross oversimplification of how war works acknowledged
Trump: “It has to do with military. Let them pay for it, the people. They’ve always wanted it, you know. Always wanted it. You know from the beginning of time. Jefferson. It’s too bad they built his monument so small. Too small, really. Maybe I should give it a little facelift. Make it better. You know I’m a builder. I love building buildings. I’m good at it. Only me. Only I could do that, amazing, isn’t it. Call it the Trump-Jefferson Memorial. He was a great president. Not as good as me, but you know.”
