TINK

i feel this so strongly

today i have eaten and i haven't purged except lax abuse. i have self harmed but only my forehead against the wall. i feel angry and annoyed beyond measure. i feel no hope and broken so badly that i know and believe i am not able to be saved. i told my mom to give up on me. one already did. how come people love me? how can people not experience suicidal ideation or urges?? how to people live & not just survive??

DIE(t) 

Sylvia Plath, “Lady Lazarus”

2fragile 2 B active 😳🙃 😔🙍🏻 #eatingdisordered #bruiseeasily #workoutaddiction

Speaks for itself id say ..... (HELL)P ! #hellp #hell #help #snowwriting #wintertime

Post workout PM (yes I AM eating late at night humph !) some watered down low cal grape Gatorade ((YUMM) and water and soda water aka carbonated water aka seltzer aka bubbly water (SOO many various names for it lol) and then some blueberries (guess who did not count or measure the blueberries?! ME. also. I ate all of em even tho my Ed mind was screening at me that eating the blueberries was gonna detract from the hard work out I just did. Shut up I want no nightmares tonight 🙁😔 yes I am not following a path of recovery but here & there I try just to be able to post here and try to convince others as well as myself (wherever I've gone to...) that maybe it isn't bad. That maybe there is a speckle of hope to keep up for. Stay strong tonight. I'll do so too! Not gonna body check!! 😬 come on ladies and gents let's be as strong as we can tonight/today. Xxo #edfightback #girlswitheds #boyswitheds #anxiety #PMsnack #HSsnack #compensation #recoveryisntlinear #dontknowwhereistand I REALLY HOPE I WAKE YP TOMORROW AND REMEMBER TO PUT G-D FIRST AND SAY THANK YOU FOR LETTING ME LIVE ANOTHER DAY. PTW?... I have alarms set for the gym tomorrow AM after I weigh myself and then therapy after. Usually I run after therapy because it's so hard and I can turn off emotions usually with running on empty if you will, so I'm a tad nervous to see what will happen if I feel too dizzy already where I won't be able to run as long or fast after therapy. What if I can't at all?!?! NO. need to calm my mind. Shh. Bedtime. Night

Same anxieties spoken from patients struggling with cancer and patients struggling with EDs #eatingdisorders #cancertreatment #physicalandmental #illnesses #moresimilarthanyoudthink #alottolearn #breakstigma #recoveringfrom #treatmentfor #anxieties

Two truths and 1 lie-- #twotruthsandalie ~I love sharks but hate Dolphins ~I like to and remember to brush my hair at least once or twice daily ~I have one earlobe that has 3 piercings but I only ever use 2 of them if I choose to wear earrings <<answer for the LIE-- the brushing hair one is the lie. I sometimes brush my hair with just a quick comb through with my fingertips and call it good...>> (at L.I.E.)

⛈🌟✨ #tatted #teamtattoo #leviticus