Found myself in Wonderland...

"the trauma made you kind" fuck that. no. i am kind because i cannot allow anyone to go through what i did. i am soft because i chose to be.

we make eye contact and i connect to the wifi in your brain and i delete half of your memories and make you left handed

But I am left handed. And I already have a poor memory, so good luck finding anything worth deleting.

WAIT A MINUTE

When Adam bit the apple he did it because he trusted Eve. Because he loved her. Adam bit into the apple because the woman he loved told him to, no matter what God said. No matter the rules of heaven. What’s heaven to a woman’s love anyway? What’s God to your wife? The first sins of humanity, were trusting others. Eve trusted a snake, Adam trusted Eve, and I trust you. Maybe that’s a sin, just like the first couple. Maybe everyone’s right about us and we’re sinners and we offend God. But like I said, what’s God to a woman’s love anyway? What has heaven got that I can’t find sitting next to you on a cool autumn morning?

MINE. 

X-Men are real, their powers are just super shitty.

[captions] Narrator from behind camera: “Hi, this is my friend Anna Smith, she has a superpower. Whenever she touches any electronic the fire alarm will go off. Please, show!” Anna: “Would you like to watch some [pauses, touches tv. fire alarm rings out before stopping abruptly] TV? [laughter offscreen] How bout- you want some [pauses, touches A/C controls. fire alarms rings out before stopping abruptly] cold air?[laughter offscreen] How ‘bout turn the lights off? [touches light, fire alarm rings out once]  Narrator: “Wait, show me- show me your cool basketball trick?” Anna: [jumps and touches fire alarm, causing it to go off once] “KOBE!” [laughter offscreen] D’you want some [touches microwave, fire alarm goes off before stopping abruptly] popcorn?” Narrator: “Oh no, it’s literally just you. [bangs hand on microwave, fire alarm is completely silent] I-” [laughs]

Scooby doo is a great Dane. In the shows, we see shaggy, velma, daphne, and fred all run at the same pace as scooby. Great Danes run at a speed of 30 mph. The mystery gang have thighs of steel.

What if scooby is running at the pace of the gang? What if he could run faster if he wanted to but he is a good boy so he stays at their pace even when being chased by scary monsters?

WHY IS NO ONE TALKING ABOUT THIS? THE STATE AND ITS RIGHT ARM COMMITTED YET ANOTHER HATE CRIME, THIS TIME HURTING TWO MINORITY GROUPS SIMULTANEOUSLY.

it's 2022. donald trump has died in disgrace days after being impeached and jailed. my chemical romance's new album is coming out the same day as the new spiderverse movie. the lizzo and janelle monaé collab song is blowing up the radio. lil nas x has a verse in it. you and your partner have time and energy for dates after work after jeff bezos' assets have been seized and distributed to the public in the wake of his arrest for keeping employees in unsafe working conditions.

oh what a life

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