no, YOU have to do it scared. IM going to fruitlessly wait for the perfect moment forever

sorry for being annoying [remembers that practicing gratitude instead of shame is better for my mental health and my relationships] thank you for letting me be annoying with you

the way trump is talking abt hillary makes him sound like a scorned lover lmao what if monica wasn’t bill’s only side bitch??

you gotta be fucking kidding me

are you guys gonna wrap it up with the dog motif anytime soon

literally man's best friend but whatever. i guess you do sexual roleplay as some kind of tender-leaved houseplant?

you know full well that my sexual roleplays are geological in nature

this website lets you listen to the sounds of all different forests around the world 

Reblogging again cause I tried this site last night and if you need background noise to focus this is perfect for that, I was locked the fuck in on a task. And it’s also just gorgeous to listen to

I think life is just about cousins. Some people are your cousins and some people are not

Like a friend is a type of cousin. Your boss is not a cousin. You understand.

If you have an enemy or rival of some sort that is also a cousin UNLESS there is a sexual or romantic component to the rivalry. Neighbors are also cousins. If youve got like a state or town or regional adversary everyone in that area is your cousin (people from long island and people from north jersey are cousins, for instance)

As a general rule strangers are not cousins except in some circumstances. Teachers are not cousins. Your family-cousins spouses only actually become your cousin if you like them, if you dont then they are not your cousin. Your parents and children are not cousins, but your aunts and uncles are

Your friends siblings are like your cousins' cousins

i think taylor swift wishes she was bisexual because she knows it would make her slightly more money. whereas sabrina carpenter wishes she was bisexual so she could have sex with someone who looks exactly like herself. and ariana grande wishes she was bisexual because she did too many designer drugs on the set of wicked and now she has kin memories of being glinda for real

what i like about airports is that once youre in there theres no going back. I mean youre there until they let you out

im no longer responsible for myself. I am free because i am contained. oooh eighteen dollar sandwich dont mind if i do

(backseating you at the mortar and pestle) man you aint even squarshing it

I’m tired of moving on… can god give me something to hold onto for a change

that was lowkey churlish and ribald but i'm still amenable to you

What's the opposite of "fuck my stupid baka life" ?

Yippie my awesome sugoi life