fresh water

@jbrightraven got some cool ones too!

I’m really proud of myself for recognizing that I wasn’t cranky - I was having a bad sensory day. First of all, my office chair broke and I cannot afford to replace it and money has always been a trigger for other issues like anxiety. But even after I fixed that situation I felt “cranky.” My nails felt like they had a film on them. I couldn’t touch my phone case or the MagSafe pop socket holder because they felt wrong. My hair was bothering me. Things like that.

I could have let this all ruin my afternoon, but I took some deep breaths and worked out how to refocus my attention on things that didn’t bother me. I cleaned my nail polish off (just a clear coat but I’d just put it on yesterday). I changed my phone case and took the pop socket off for now. I put my hair up so I’d stop playing with the curls that were probably fine but didn’t feel right.

Then I took one of my bigger squishmallows, put it on my lap, put my switch on top and started playing Animal Crossing… one of my comfort things. When the TV show I was watching started to bother me I turned it off without finishing the episode (I’ve been doing that a lot lately).

I’m sharing this with y’all not for the validation that any comments might give me, but for the education. A year ago I was diagnosed with ADHD and started to learn how my brain works. Then I took the journey to my Autism self-diagnosis and learned even more.

Original blog July 2011-December 2015 (names: ninetenrose, happyhealthycook, straightarrowlife)

January 2016-December 2016 hiatus

January 2017-December 2018 (names: straightarrowlife, cosmoswithinus)

After 7.5 years, I can honestly say I am pretty over it. During the heyday of 2012-2015, I felt deeply involved with and connected to nearly the entirety of the active runblr community. I made many amazing friends, the majority of whom are still friends with me elsewhere, even after also letting their tumblrs die.

But the glory days are long gone. I don’t feel connected or engaged anymore. Much of that is my fault, taking a year off, spending another 9 months on top of that blogging only about fandoms, not bonding with new people, expecting that the community was going to stay the same when really the old tumblr community (*my* old tumblr community) had basically run its course a few years ago. I am totally okay with this. But coming here is not meaningful for me and hasn’t been for a long time.

I enjoy following the people I follow (all 20 of you! hi!). And I will still be logging my running and posting food and funny stuff and personal stuff and interacting with people on IG and FB, so if any of you want to find me there, you are absolutely more than welcome. I mean it. Please come press the Follow or Add Friend button. I won’t turn ya down:

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