PARIS LARIMAR

JOI [jerk-off instruction] is THE fetish I loved to hate (ok, hate's a strong word - I used to disregard it from my scope of fetish entirely). Back then my understanding of the fetish began & ended at, "so these people are so pathologically obsessed with their own penis that they require it to be taking up someone else's headspace in the form of instruction to get off? What in the fuckenest does that have to do with me as a Domme that values all things above penis?"

Dominants being turned off by JOI as a concept is nothing new. My own unfascinated perspective didn't spring from thin air. It stemmed from conversations with other Dominants who expressed precisely those perspectives. Also from those who displayed everything that turned me off about JOI within their requests for it.

Also far from new is using the art of JOI to narrate how you feel a sub *should* ideally be pondering his own terminal bepenisment. By incorporating elements of humiliation, laughter, CBT, CEI, shaming - the validation often sought through a JOI experience can be undone in the same breath wherein it was expressed. This is not dissimilar to the allure of emotional-whiplash fetish. The Dominant's dynamic of hot-to-cold. Giving a submissive exactly what they ask for by word but the opposite by spirit. Stark contrast between charmed giggles the instant before she says, "flick it. EXCUSE THE FUCK OUTTA YOU, you call that a 'flick'? Absolutely not - FOR REAL THIS TIME. And do it a dozen times since the first one was so weak."

Now here's the BEST part in my opinion - you ready? Ok.

nobody can do it like you because nobody IS you, therefore nobody is competition

embrace & make space for your type of beauty (like TRULY appreciate your own hotness, devote time/practice to it)

HD powder is literally 100% spherical silica powder, you can get it from TKB trading for like $5. Don't breathe it in & avoid flash photography.

your ass makes your ass look sooooo good!

watermark EVERYTHING (this is mostly to remind myself)

remove metadata - sometimes putting in total nonsense info feels cute & fun.

don't forget to oil your leather!

be humble, for the biggest asswipe you've ever met in your life is ALSO made of stardust

do not ever grind weed in an electric coffee grinder (the resin gets sticky in there & it's almost impossible to fix)