Welcome

cock and ball therapy

cognitive behavioral torture

hazmat suit but it has a boob window

while he’s “roughly the size of a barge” and dumb as hell, gaston is NOT a himbo because he’s missing the ultimate himbo factor: kindness

the h in himbo stands for heart

this slaps tho lmao

@sinister–potato omg his face 😂😻

man imagine getting an anal exam from carlisle. i know the mans a good doctor but his fingers are chilly….

Would he like??? Boil his fingers before hand???

i’m gonna fucking murder every last one of you and the lord will not punish me for it

I may be an absolute disaster of an adult but when someone younger than me asks for advice I turn into a Wise Professor

what city slickers don’t understand is that weird noises always come from the forest and we just ignore it

if you go out to investigate and get got then that is on you, ignore it and go back to sleep like a rational person

Can I be honest, I think if we went back in time and told that “MYRRH-DER” “*gasp* Judas! No!” joke to a group of medieval peasants they would completely and utterly lose their shit. They would be grabbing each other and crying with laughter. idk I just love the thought of a joke created through a modern, 21st century medium being accessible and enjoyable for devout practising Catholics hundreds of years ago

any white at a protest who tries to go against police and deliberately provoke a response from them is not to be trusted and does not have the safety of black and brown people in mind.

there is a good chance that they are police too. if anyone, especially a white dude, ever randomly gets your attention and conspiratorially tries to convince you to jump a police officer, then dude is a cop. They have been using this technique and script for at least 30 years.

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Agent_provocateur

Check their fucking shoes. They’re always too afraid that their little toesies will be hurt so they’ll usually still be rocking the exact same boots as the guys on the other side. This was what gave the cops away when they provoked riots in Toronto a while back.

@talesofalamia, remember when I pointed out the shoes of the two well-dressed informants near us?

Similar note: IME, unmarked cruisers have five distinguishing traits: 1. They’re one of the department-issue models. 2. They’re always white, black, or dark blue. 3. They always look like they just rolled out of a car wash. 4. Usually rocking restricted plates. 5. Most reliable if present but hardest to spot: Their mirrors are bulkier, to fit the light rigs in.

Reblogging this for two reasons: 1. So people who have reason to be afraid of the police (which is pretty much anyone with significant melanin) see it. 2. Uh, good writer reference for describing undercover cop cars…