Medically Advantageous Rooster Attack @carnagechicken - Tumblr Blog

I wish so badly that serial killer Scott Hunter was canon. I mean it’s canon to me #ToMe but I wish there was footage of Francois in character as Scott holding a bloody knife or something

#*nods sagely* because it'd be hot #heated rivalry

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william-snekspeare

This is so real

pixellangel

HOLD ON I HAVE A GIF FOR THIS

pixellangel

yes ive been waiting for my moment

lula2481

r u fucking serious??????????

#In season two they should put him in compression shorts and nothing else #just so we can see him squat and tear those shorts asunder with the shear power of his giant thighs and ass #Hashtag get Shane bigger (fat or muscle? Both goddamnit both!)#hudson williams #heated rivalry

gaynehollander

Tragedy: there's nothing tagged with both 'weight gain' and 'spanking' in Hollanov on ao3 why make ass fat if no spank it :(

#Britney Spears yeah gif #heated rivalry

while I love the fics that have Yuna being really supportive and helpful and understanding about Shane's sensory issues, stimming, etc, there is something so crunchy and delicious (to me) about the idea where she doesn't understand or (even MORE tasty) where she tried to get Shane to be 'normal' and 'fit in' ("just look in their eyes, Shane, it's not hard" "stop chewing on your sleeve, honey, you're not a baby anymore" "why don't you try something new, aren't you tired of so much ginger ale" "it's just a hug, you can hug me can't you" "stop shaking your hands like that, we're in public" "thank you for being so still, sweetie, I'm proud of you") and then at some point after she's met Ilya (who is utterly clueless about Shane's autism but by god if he doesn't love his quirks*) and mentions something offhand like "oh, it's always been so hard to know when Shane likes something, ever since he was little" in kind of an attempt to show that she knows her son so well and what does Ilya know about him really and Ilya does look surprised..... But not in the way she was hoping. Instead,

Ilya: "oh... I know when he likes things because he does those happy hands, you know?"

Yuna: "happy hands? What are you talking about?"

Ilya: "when he likes stuff he, you know, *flaps hands up and down* like that. Is all excited and must let me know. I love when he does this"

Yuna, deeply incredulous: "right...."

And later she peeks (spies, eavesdrops) on them in the kitchen and sees Ilya present Shane with a ginger ale ("I know your parents don't always have any here and your mama think you drink too much but I'm very sneaky and hide one in my bag for you!") and she witnesses Shane flap his hands in pure joy, beaming, before taking it from Ilya and Ilya wrapping around Shane's back in a cuddle (but he hates touching, doesn't he) and Shane relaxes into it and she hears, barely, Ilya say "mmm, my Shane, always needs a good squeeze, no light touch, it's good I'm so strong I can do this easily" and then she (after some denial) has to reckon with the fact that she doesn't actually know her son like she thought. And that, even worse, she's been stifling all these things that make him not only easier to know but that make him happy and comfortable and more himself. So crunchy, so chewy, so painfully delicious.

*(the closest they come to discussing Shane's autism is Shane saying something a little derogatory towards himself eg; I like routine I'm predictable you'll get bored and Ilya is all "no Shane I love your boring routines it's like a blueprint for how to love you best and I know you love me because I'm part of your routines now I like that you are this way" and Shane is all "I don't know if I should cry or kiss you right now so I'll do both" and it's all very sweet)

#heated rivalry #I also love thinking about Ilya starting to mirror some of Shane's stims #Like when something good happens Shane is flapping his hands and Ilya is also flapping because he's so used to seeing #joy expressed this way that it's how he expresses joy too now #Or when Shane hears an interesting noise and mimics it and Ilya echoes Shane and they sometimes get in a #loop of Ilya said something and Shane mimicked his accent on that word and Ilya repeats the word and Shane #echoes Ilya again and then they're saying one word over and over in Ilya's accent while watching tv

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chocolate-smash

okay I can’t keep it in anymore. Shane may be autistic, but he simply Would Not have a problem with things being too bright or loud. This boy plays HOCKEY, he is a SENSORY SEEKER, there is NO SUCH THING AS TOO BRIGHT AND LOUD. In my HEART OF HEARTS I know that this man used to stand in the middle of arcades as a child and soak in all of the different sounds and lights and flashy bits and finally feel like he’s getting enough sensation to settle into his own skin. He sleeps under 2 weighted blankets and preferably also another giant 250lb hockey player. He’s not having a problem with too much noise and stimulation. He plays recorded crowd noises from other sports games to focus on stuff. He’s fine sitting in wet clothes for an hour if that’s how long it takes to finish sexting before he gets changed. He’s a SENSORY SEEKER. LET HIM SEEK.

#Yes #But in my head canon he is a bundle of contradictions #He wants to be as close to the stage as possible so he can really FEEL the bass drum in his chest and he loves hearing and seeing #firetruck sirens and lights pass right by him. But good god if the charger doesn't stop whining......#And don't you DARE even THINK about turning on the overhead light #And while he better get his daily dose of Ilya Squeeze Hug (tm) where his face is smashed into Ilya's (juicy) pecs and his lungs #are basically paper thin his ribs are being squished so much #But don't fucking BRUSH!!!!! Your FINGERS!!!! On his BACK!!!!! He will BITE #heated rivalry

calcazars

let it be known that i touch grass frequently and I’m still like this.

#I pruned trees today and I'm still like this

hudconvent

like sorry but ilya would love cocaine. he just would. i have an evil headcanon that he loves it so much that his teammates give him the nickname snowplow. snorting 3 lines like adidas . then swiping his finger through whats left and rubbing it on his gums. like sue me

#He does cocaine for the first time and he's like “everybody shut the fuck up I can do algebra”#Shane is horrified when he learns that Ilya is “so smart on cocaine you don't even know”#And he's even more horrified to find out it's true #(“I did most of my university papers on cocaine” “you went to university!?!!?” “Yes of course. On cocaine” (this is also when Shane learns #that Ilya has a very sexy smart degree (smart!Ilya and drug user!Ilya can and should coexist) but that's another story))#heated rivalry

hopeless-eccentric

humiliating to be attracted to a conventionally attractive person. I thought I was a more sensitive and refined pervert than this

#Yeah #Like I really am just a shallow bitch sometimes

gaynehollander

Shane would safeword and then be like "why'd you stop?"

#They as a couple are so mind meld codependent that they can't even separate their sexual preferences. If one of them likes it the other one #does too. logically Ilya understands that you don't have to like everything your partner does and there's nothing wrong with that but on #the inside he's secretly very smug and superior about the fact that he and Shane like everything the other one likes and actually every #other couple is not as good or as in sync as he and Shane and everyone else would wish for what they had if they only knew how good it is #But he has the wherewithal to keep all that as an inside thought. Shane however.... Shane genuinely doesn't understand what he has with #Ilya is not only not the norm but also mildly concerning to people who listen to Shane vaguely talk about his sex life #Like he's chatting with Rose and he keeps saying how much Ilya liked something (forgetting to mention that it almost made HIS dick explode)#And Rose concerned (either by the sex act being described or by Shane only saying that Ilya liked it) gently asks if Shane liked it too #And Shane just sorta blinks because to him Ilya liking something is the same as Shane liking something and vise versa #Rose: if someone else tried to spit in your mouth without asking during sex would you like it? Shane: *recoils in horror* no that's gross #Rose: so you DON'T like it when Ilya does it! Tell him to stop! Shane: I'd rather die than tell him to stop. He can do anything to me #Their preferences and kinks are so tied to each other that it's like. Ilya: Shane how do you feel about *insert kink* Shane: sounds weird #Ilya: I think it's hot. Shane: *suddenly so hard he's about to pass out* do it to me right now I want it so bad I love it already #And fundamentally Shane just doesn't think his safeword is actually real. To him it's just an extension of their sexy game (that has not be #properly explained to Ilya clearly or he wouldn't have listened to the safeword) where Shane will only tell Ilya no and stop when he wants #Ilya to ignore his nos and stops and hold him down and make him take it and the safeword is just more of that right?#When Ilya explains to Shane that the safeword is real Shane is a little offended (“I would NEVER tell you to stop” “what if you actually #did want me to stop?“ ”you'd keep going anyway duh“ ”No Shane if you really wanted me to stop if you really wanted to get away from me"#“You tie me up so I CAN'T leave and you KEEP GOING” “Shane I'm being serious” “so am I.”)#Shane Hollander is inventing CNC and then turning it into just NC just because he can #And don't worry. Ilya likes it Shane likes it and it concerns everyone else. Perfection #heated rivalry

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castielchitaqua

i genuinely think ilya rozanov should have at least one nipple pierced

#And he did it himself with a sewing needle when he was 16 and took it out whenever he was getting ready #to play hockey and so Shane has never seen it because he only saw Ilya right after hockey and ilya #didn't have time to put the barbells back in before their hookups and he never thought to mention it (he forgot mostly) after a while it #was just part of Ilya's thing to only have it in sometimes when he was alone in his house and it really truly slipped his mind to tell #Shane after they start dating for real and one day Shane drops by the Ottawa house and sees the piercings and his poor little brain can't #handle this and he blue screens and Ilya is VERY confused he doesn't know what's happening with his boyfriend and when Shane comes back to #his body he HAS to get his mouth on Ilya's nipple he has to and look. Shane has appreciated Ilya's big heavy tits he has. But this is a #level of groping and sucking and licking and biting that has never been experienced by either of them before #Shane “oral fixation” Hollander has basically tackled Ilya to the floor and vacuum sucked his mouth to Ilya's left tit (I believe it's the #left one I know in my heart) and look. Ilya likes it of course but Shane LOVES it. The texture the feeling of Ilya's heartbeat under his #lips the scratch of Ilya's nails on his scalp. All of it is shane-nip. And after a very interesting 27 minutes on the hallway floor they #do Not really talk about what just happened (fr these two aren't having kink discussion safesex kinda talks) it just becomes the norm for #Shane to snuggle up to Ilya all sweet like during movies and latch on. And it works for Shane like nothing else. Pressed to Ilyas big chest #with Ilya's big hand petting his hair mouth on Ilya's nipple and one hand shoved down Ilya's pants cupping his semi lovingly #Shane once came during a session after Ilya had to readjust them and he managed to do it without breaking the latch by holding Shane's jaw #in place and cupping his own pec firmly while shuffling and when Shane whined Ilya pressed him closer to his chest and whispered #“it's okay baby keep sucking it's okay” and Shane came so quietly but it felt like he emptied himself out so much he wouldn't be able to #come cum for days (spoiler he can. And boy does he when Ilya breaks the news about his old (but still useable) tongue piercing)#does this count as #Lactation kink #Idk but just in case #heated rivalry

boyoyoyoing

#I think this scene was more emotional for me than the I love yous #THEY LIKE EACH OTHER SO MUCH #sorry for yelling #But that's part of the reason I love this romance the most above others #Because we get sooo many romances where they exchange their I love yous and they talk about how much they love each other but...#they don't seem to LIKE each other very much #And to me that feels just as if not more important than loving someone #Idk in my experience you can love someone but not like them very much but it's very hard to like someone and not love them #So the Shane/Ilya I like you exchange feels so important to me #Because that's the core of it. They just fucking like each other. They liked each other right from the very beginning #They think the other one is so funny and nice and beautiful and amazing and and and and #They weren't in an almost decade long situationship just because of the sex #(of which they had a full two year self (Shane) imposed “will they won't they” back and forth and also barely saw each other anyway)#They had this decade long mess because they LIKED each other too much to stop #(also Shane wasn't about to let just any random bend him over he has standards. It was just met and exceeded by Ilya so no one else will do #heated rivalry

once again I am back on my bullshit of thinking about the chokehold heated rivalry has on me. Like I watched it for the 4th time while I was dog-sitting at my friend's mom's house for a weekend. That's fucking crazy when you're the type of person who has the *while going through airport security* what if I have a gun? Mindset. What if she has surveillance cameras and knows I'm watching a guy get his back blown out (tastefully)? She can't but what if?? What if!??! That's how much this silly little show has sunk its claws into my brainstem, that one little squeeze and I'm giving in faster then Shane in that Vegas bathroom

#heated rivalry

userhudson

Hudson Outfit Bracket - Final Poll

Armani show at Milan Fashion Week vs Golden Globes

Pick One

Armani show at Milan Fashion Week

Golden Globes

Voting ended onJul 7

#Milan Milan Milan Milan how is that even a question #Like I think smoking is one of the grossest things. I hate the smell sooooo much #But those photos got me going put that cigarette out on my thigh please #hudson williams #heated rivalry

carnagechicken

my uncle is visiting my mum and apparently the sibling relationship in your early 50s consists mostly of complimenting each others camping equipment. I'm watching and learning

carnagechicken

they bought five more collapsible camping chairs

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carnagechicken

the great thing about my cousins is that we go from the "I haven't seen you since you were 3" mild awkwardness to being used as furniture pretty quickly

carnagechicken

Like it was truly a

Kind of week

#Personal I guess

the great thing about my cousins is that we go from the "I haven't seen you since you were 3" mild awkwardness to being used as furniture pretty quickly

#Personal I guess

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