Carmilla Ate My Heart

yall haven’t written the next chapter of ur fanfic and it really shows

…I feel personally attacked

when i was in like third grade i went to this science camp and one night at campfire they told us a story about a ufo crashing into a lake nearby and then later in the middle of the night they woke us all up and told us the aliens were back and this time they’d laid eggs in the woods !! it was our duty to arm ourselves and go destroy the eggs, so we armored up in tinfoil and shaving cream ( ????? ) and marched into the woods ready to save the planet. the ‘eggs’ were whole watermelons hidden around the camp and we had to smash them open on trees and rocks and eat the alien fetus/watermelon goo as fast as possible. i cannot emphasis enough the raw joy of digging into a watermelon with your bare hands and stuffing it into your face in the middle of the night in the woods, barely taking time to chew so that you can save the planet from hostile aliens, and i think i became the person i am because of that night.

me as a camp councelor

I can not stress this enough but, what the fuck.

here’s my hot take of the night: D.E.B.S would be an honest to god trash movie if it was straight. it would be so bad. but by the sheer fact that it’s a lesbian movie about a spy and a super villain falling in love and running away together it’s an incredible work of art and I would die for it

the scene when amy and lucy first run into each other, are holding each other at gun point, casually debate whether or not lucy should be arrested, then break the standoff to shake hands and make introductions? would have been terrible if it was straight. would have been dumb as hell. but lesbians being lesbians made it truly iconic, only lesbians would break off holding a criminal at gunpoint to shake her hand and eventually let her go because she’s really hot. amy? a lesbian icon

i wanna stress that i am DEAD serious about how bad it would have been specifically if it was straight… a straight couple could not pull off the perfect kind of dumb flirting and uselessness at being an evil super villain AND uselessness at being the poster child spy solely because you’re both incredibly gay and your “enemy” is a hot girl… straights WISH they could

Crying is how humans safely release stress. It’s why you feel better after crying: the release valve was triggered and you’re not pent up any more. That men are societally denied this release is both sad and dangerous.

yesterday at the store, i said “babe” to get my girlfriends attention and like four women who aren’t my girlfriend looked at me and the lesbian power fjrjfndmsmzksp

i said it again at the bar and the bartender turned like i was talking to her djfnfjdndkdjd

i love watching couples or friends walking in tandem. i love seeing when they make each other laugh

This is what Hozier means when he says ‘I fall in love just a little bit everyday with someone new.’